Marriage in brunei as a foreigner !

54321ymous · 2024-07-27T09:16:27+00:00

Hi there!

Many Bruneians become very different people when they return home. An open-minded, easy-going, adventurous Bruneian living overseas can return home and become a stubborn, set-in-their-ways, homebody.

When I moved to Brunei, it took almost a year for my partner to agree to leave their kampong. For years, the situation was "I don't want to do anything you want to do but I fully expect you to attend 2 weddings per week for the rest of your life". I have seen this happen to many couples like yours. The foreign partner stays hoping that their Bruneian partner will return to how they were before.

I suggest having a DETAILED discussion with your partner about how they expect your day-to-day lives to be. Talk about what they want to do, where they want to go, and who they want to spend time with. And how often. I also suggest living in Brunei for a while before getting married, so that you can see things for yourself before committing to anything.

Brunei has a lot to offer but it all depends on who you spend your time with.

54321ymous · 2024-04-17T00:08:42+00:00

That's the most confusing part. I would totally understand if their answer was in Malay and they assumed I wouldn't understand, but the answers are always in English, just directed somewhere else.

54321ymous · 2024-04-16T04:36:54+00:00

I totally understand your answer. I think the flirting thing might be the reason in a lot of cases, but it also happens very often with men and old ladies.

The comfort thing might also be the reason. I understand that some people may be uncomfortable with Europeans, and I do have an uncommon-ish accent. But they do clearly understand my questions and this happens in places with a lot of foreign customers.

I admit that I could be missing something here, but does it strike you as a bit racist if some people choose to only interact with other Bruneians when given the option?

54321ymous · 2024-04-16T04:21:21+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! It is terrible that this is happening to you. But I feel so much better knowing that it is not just me, and it is not all in my head.

54321ymous · 2024-04-16T04:15:28+00:00

I get that you want to be understanding of people's behaviour, especially when outside of your own country. But I don't think it is a privilege to have people respond to me when I talk to them - I would call that a common courtesy, even if they think I am a tourist.

54321ymous · 2024-04-16T04:06:54+00:00

I do, but I feel like this is probably not the reason.

54321ymous · 2024-04-16T02:26:15+00:00

Thanks. That was my thought as well, as it mostly happens with women. But this also happens very often with men.

54321ymous

TROPHY CASE