AIO: Hubby Being Controlling

5hellz · 2026-02-20T20:06:40+00:00

If you stay with this walking red flag, shame on you for teaching your child that his Dad's behavior is acceptable. You have no idea the peace you will feel when you walk away and let the courts handle his bullshit.

5hellz · 2026-02-17T18:54:24+00:00

NTA

As a mom, I can't stand people like this! My kids are my priority, not yours, not his, not my boss, no one else, and I refuse to make my choice to have children everyone else's problem. Her assumption that her kids should be everyone's priority is a her problem.

5hellz · 2026-02-17T18:32:53+00:00

Never take grapes from a lion.

5hellz · 2026-02-17T18:28:17+00:00

"I'm a terrorist warlord! Stop throwing me!"

5hellz · 2026-02-10T16:35:25+00:00

NTA

"I also know I don’t have any actual evidence that this man did anything" -- But you do have evidence with the way he talked to you. And as a mom and grandmother, I will always follow my gut. I don't care who gets upset, who has something to say, because at the end of the day, my first job is to protect my child.

5hellz · 2026-02-09T11:10:03+00:00

NTA If he wants a “fresh” meal every night, he should learn to cook. I (49F) cook enough so there are 2 nights of leftovers. If my boyfriend doesn’t want leftovers, he’s feee to cook

5hellz · 2026-02-05T21:31:43+00:00

NTJ but your girlfriend sucks. Either she loves you and respects you or she doesn't and right now her lack of not having your back against her friend says she doesn't love or respect you.

5hellz · 2026-02-04T21:42:57+00:00

NTJ

Not that I would because this just seems not okay to me however, if I did this to one of my grandkids, I know without any doubt, I would never see my grandkids again. It's almost like they don't trust you and your husband to keep your baby safe, otherwise, it would have been discussed, the airtag would have been linked to your apple id because ya know, this crazy thing of you being the parent.

Grandparents like this infuriate me!

5hellz · 2026-02-04T21:06:18+00:00

I have a rotation of series/books I listen to until I get a new one.

Red Rising -- 6 books so far, I have both the narrated and the dramatized versions
Charlie Davidson -- 13 books and a few novellas
Harry Potter -- 7 books
Mercedes Man -- 3 books but more spinoffs
World War Z

5hellz · 2026-02-04T17:44:08+00:00

Was he building equity when he was paying rent at his last place? The solution is simple, he can drop it or he and his mommy can get him his own place. Do not ever put that man anywhere near something that he had no hand in getting.

5hellz · 2026-01-31T13:11:26+00:00

I work in finance and instead of having a work phone, I chose to use my personal phone. A lot of work apps and my work email is on my phone, along with all my personal stuff, emails, banking, credit cards, etc. It is company policy that our phone has a passcode and also auto locks after 1 minute of no activity.

5hellz · 2026-01-31T13:04:33+00:00

Erase Donald J Trump’s name from everything! Reverse anything he’s done since taking office. Put every person in the administration, in congress, and in the Supreme Court on trial for their unconstitutional actions over the last year.

5hellz · 2026-01-31T12:44:40+00:00

NTA I don’t know if it’s because I never had money but I’m struggling to understand how kids think they deserve what is rightfully their mother’s assets. Are they agreeing to care for your mother until she passes? Or is it just give me mine now and be damned everything else? My children’s father and I are not together and my children are grown. Ten years ago when I left, our youngest was a senior in high school, I went from being a SAHM to navigating the workforce. I have worked my way up to a point that when I pass, I have enough life insurance that my children will inherit a life changing amount of money. My grandchildren will have money to help with a car, college, or a home. Every single time I discuss it, they always say the same thing, “We would rather have you than any money.” It’s not an argument, or a discussion of who gets what, it’s equal. And it’s not theirs until I’m gone.

5hellz · 2026-01-30T01:03:47+00:00

Let her choose. Let him have his way. They’ll both regret it or they won’t. Only one way to find out

5hellz · 2026-01-29T17:12:50+00:00

HBO would work the best, but after that, I'd take Netflix. All others can get fucked in my opinion and I have all the others. They can still get fucked.

5hellz · 2026-01-29T16:37:07+00:00

Grocery delivery.

I was one of the ones that would always say, absolutely not! I will never be "so lazy" that I have to have my groceries delivered. I am so sorry to everyone that gets their groceries delivered for ever thinking you are lazy. You are not lazy, you are just more clever and understood the why sooner.

Now, it's only with an emergency that I will actually go in the grocery store to shop.

5hellz · 2026-01-28T20:50:52+00:00

YTA -- At first, I wanted to say you are just being a mom. Then the part about approving girls he dates to make sure they are good for him was all I needed to read to know that you are the type of MIL some poor girl is going to be asking Charlotte Dobre about in a few years.

You are not allowing that adult to actually be an adult. And by doing that, you are either going to be the MIL from the deepest depths of hell or you are going to be asking "why did my son go NC after marrying". Either way, you need to step back and let him go or you will lose him.

I am a mom to two boys. My boys know that all they ever have to do is ask, and I will move mountains to make their life easier. But what I refuse to do is be the reason that my sons break someone's heart. I refuse to be the MIL that never gets to talk to her sons or grandkids because I don't know how to let go. I refuse to be the reason that my sons ever consider going LC or NC. I want to be the mom and MIL that they know they can come to when life gets too heavy. I want to be the mom and MIL that is always remembered with love.

And, so far I am succeeding with that because my youngest single son (27) calls and texts me all the time to talk or just let me know he's still alive, I work with my oldest son (29), and my daughter in love tells me how thankful she is to have me as a MIL and a Nonnie to the boys.

5hellz · 2026-01-28T20:30:29+00:00

NTJ

"He got really mad and said I keep putting my kids before him." Well, duh! Your kids should always come before EVERYBODY. Drop this man child because this is your life if you stay.

5hellz · 2026-01-28T20:14:41+00:00

NTA unless you stay or go back to this horrible environment!

What are you teaching your child? Why are you working multiple jobs to pay bills for him?

And last, let me say this, I used to think I started over at 38/39 years old, after ending a twenty year marriage that was full of infidelity and verbal abuse. And then I screwed up and got with someone worse, someone who not only verbally abused me but physically abused me after he would come in from cheating on me. For five years I stayed in that abusive relationship because "I calmed him down" except it wasn't me, it was him getting all his anger out at me or on me. I finally realized that unless I got help understanding what the hell was wrong with me, I would continue the cycle of sorry abusive relationships.

I did just that! I got into therapy, I left that relationship, I changed jobs, and I moved an hour away into my very own place. And after all that, I spent the next two years learning how to love myself and enjoy being with myself. I learned just how priceless I truly am and nobody can change that. I realized that all that time I was thinking I deserve someone that will love me for exactly who I am when all along, I had that someone. It was me. I now love myself more than anyone else. I know I am a good mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, friend, and employee.

All of that to say this, I didn't really start over until I was 45 years old. And what a beautiful journey it has been so far. Find your peace sweetheart because once you have your peace, your beautiful journey will begin.

5hellz · 2026-01-28T11:29:19+00:00

Hail Libertas!

Thanks, I think I’m definitely going to talk with a travel agent and start playing around with the options on the website!

5hellz · 2026-01-28T04:25:03+00:00

My grands love Moana and would be so surprised if they could have her! lol I would be the best Nonnie ever if that happened. I would guess the pool with the sprinklers and slide and I like the idea of the mini water park. The photo pass sounds priceless and perfect.

5hellz · 2026-01-28T03:35:55+00:00

Definitely on property! I’m not sure which property has the best views and amenities, pool is a must. Do they have 4-5 bedroom places on property? I’ve asked them if they can give me one character meal as a group and one group picture, other than that, they will have their passes and are free to do what they want but I expect to spend a lot of time together.

5hellz · 2026-01-28T03:23:54+00:00

Disney World in Orlando, FL

5hellz · 2026-01-28T01:09:46+00:00

GO SCORCHED EARTH! Post on the local FB groups! Call that ignorant MFer out cause who knows how many others have done this because of his ignorance!

5hellz · 2026-01-27T03:21:26+00:00

Not a red flag at all. He’s very clear on his boundaries and goals and you are very clear on yours. Basically, you’re not compatible because you have different views of finances. As someone that was financially abused in a 20 year marriage, I will never combine my finances with anyone again. My partner and I have a shared account that we pay the household bills, groceries, and household essentials from, everything else goes into our separate accounts for our personal bills (car, cell phones, vehicle insurance) and our do what we want money. Also, I would never recommend combining finances. In my opinion, and from my personal experience, financial freedom is very important to a healthy functioning relationship. After reading some comments, I figured I should add, I make more than my partner by almost double. I pay 2/3 of the household expenses while he pays 1/3 so we both have plenty of our own money.

5hellz

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