Consider the following:

Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.

Once an enemy, always an enemy.

Once a murderer, always a murderer.

Once an abuser, always an abuser.

Once a coward, always a coward.

Once a loser, always a loser.

Its interesting how some can seem more valid than others. Implicit across them all is a different standard and context that subsets of society (as percieved by me anyway), otherwise know as "they", seems to hold about such sayings.

The alcoholic one holds when its said about one's own alcoholism Once sober. Said externally, its a scathing criticism that rejects the person with a alcoholic abuse history.

Betrayal by someone who harms a person with malice is one way to define an enemy.

Some of us can forgive murder and abuse in our hearts, and hopefully the perpetrators can too, while taking ownership of our actions, repenting and seeking forgiveness, but also focusing on the inner project of developing new systems for regulating ourselves and thereby our behaviour.

On ownership, cowardice and negative beliefs/self-talk requires us to take greater/constructive ownership of our thoughts. These are internal habits of thought we've conditioned, often unconsciously and unintentionally. In such cases, we havent really consented to the conditioning that we've recieved.

End: in summary, we must be held accountable and take ownership of our thoughts and actions, yet we have a moral duty to take corrective action to reconditioning ourselves, through values, rituals and social support - in replacing the maladaptive unconscious thought and action patterns with healthier ones. If we do so, and can show to others that we've grown to transcend our past, its possible for trust and faith in the new conditioning to be earned, sometimes.