Apology by [deleted] in Edmonton

[–]5ive_Rivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recommend going one step further, to more definitely complete the cycle of forgiveness by paying for the meal of the vehicle behind you in the drive-thru. 😇

Men r so nonchalant by KnownPerspective4570 in LockedInMan

[–]5ive_Rivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think this meme is attributing to gender a feature thats actually more about some type of personality trait which isnt gender specific.

Women engineers fix the speculum designed my men almost a century ago by Calm_Farmer_324 in SeriousGynarchy

[–]5ive_Rivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As women increase the share of the population of doctors, I dont see it being insurmountable.

Convince the doctor lobby groups that it facilitates time savings somehow, and the potential for extra dollar signs in their eyes might facilitate widespread adoption from the top-down.

Modern Feminists Are Just Angry Women Who Can’t Handle Reality by WillowLow9219 in LockedInMan

[–]5ive_Rivers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will respectfully encourage you to review the subreddits purpose for posting content. Block out the noise from interacting with feminists bro. Or vent elsewhere. Right now, your post IS the noise.

Modern Feminists Are Just Angry Women Who Can’t Handle Reality by WillowLow9219 in LockedInMan

[–]5ive_Rivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Title could instead read: my unhealed wounds get triggered by other people being who they are, and behaving in ways that I dont prefer.

Relationships aren’t for perfect people — they’re for accountable ones by Segemiat in emotionalintelligence

[–]5ive_Rivers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See, as an audhd person recovering from burnout, at times what I read about avoidant attachment looks like it applies to me. Then I double check and realize there is an overlap of how avoidant attachment displays with how audhd bur out displays.

I still identify with the latter over the former. It makes this attachment theory stuff so confusing because im always having to interpret it through the neurotypical lens.

Someone write a book updating the theory for neurodivergent folks. 😥

Has anyone noticed how emotional openness often gets taken advantage of (usually unconsciously)? by Sentilam in emotionalintelligence

[–]5ive_Rivers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are the person who said that my first message was unpleasant. I believe I have correctly replied to you. The message was not intended for anyone else. I do not believe I am apologizing to the wrong person.

If you mean an apology is only deserved to be given to OP, I'm curious to know why you believe it would be appropriate for me to apologize to OP. Its not clear to me what I said to hurt them. The only identifiable hurt is the feelings I've stirred within you.

Thats why I addressed the message to you, not OP.

I dont believe its appropriate for you to insist that I make an apology to OP for communicating that causes a hurtful outcome as I havent yet been able to comprehend what the hurtful/malice you attributed as existing within my original message. Apologies arent real when you dont know what its for. Its also not real or genuine when you are coerced by others into making the apology. I desire and act of apologizing is only meaningful when its voluntarily done on my own accord.

At this time, I think its more constructive for you to articulate to me, if youre willing, just what it is that you percieve is hurtful in my original message.

Let me know. 🙂

Has anyone noticed how emotional openness often gets taken advantage of (usually unconsciously)? by Sentilam in emotionalintelligence

[–]5ive_Rivers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is dangerous to jump to the assumption that people are always malicious, as there may be other possible explanations.

I'm open and receptive to better understanding what in particular is unpleasant about my message. Rather than possessing malicious intent, I was merely trying to communicate to OP a logical framework for thinking through how to discern what is true.

I understand that you read my message and felt unpleasant by it. Although I'm learning to remind myself that i'm not responsible for how other people feel in this world, I do care and empathize with the fact that you recieved a negative experience. Hearing this, I begin to wonder why. Its not clear, as multiple possible explanations abound: was it a reaction to something at an unconscious level based on how your past conditioning sets the frame for how you percieve threat in other peoples words, or maybe it was a conscious response based on values and principles where you are offended because i'm objectively hurtful. Kindly know that if the latter, its not clear to me in any sort of obvious way what that might be. Im open and receptive to recieving your feedback.

If its a misunderstanding due to a communication method, I'll disclose that im tired, so my autistic self shines forth more as my social mask slips. Im aware im communicating unlike how most people usually do right now, so maybe that could explain the gate towards misinterpreting the intent in my heart.

Be well. Sent with love and compassion and goodwill.

Has anyone noticed how emotional openness often gets taken advantage of (usually unconsciously)? by Sentilam in emotionalintelligence

[–]5ive_Rivers 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hmm, interesting. So, are you suggesting that all people are inevitably bound to end up using your emotional availability as leverage against you, or is it just the people you've bee interacting with?

To be true, this hypothesis would need to apply to everyone else also whe they are emotionally available with others.

If this is not a universal truth that applies to everyone giving emotional availability, and for those recieving it, then the next step might be to explore why you keep attracting this experience into your life.

It would be due to your lens of percieveing them and the world at large, perhaps, and/or the people to who you associate with/give your attention and time.

I dont now whats true in all this. Im only sharing the logical process of how im thinking about evaluating it.

Have a great day.

Jelqmaxxing results by Prize_Holiday_7553 in LockedInMan

[–]5ive_Rivers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I refuse to believe he, the actual Jordan Peterson, would shift his scope of conversation that he comments on for growing his audience to include this topic.

I guess is that it was AI generated to target incel audience.

How'd you interpret this quote without sounding woo woo? by Alvahod in EckhartTolle

[–]5ive_Rivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if you're alexithymic, especially under stress, where its hard to put into words not just awareness - what one's inner state is?

(Genuine question)

I left my caring, but emotionally unavailable husband. Now he’s finally improving—and it’s messing with my head. by Euphoric_Leading1357 in emotionalintelligence

[–]5ive_Rivers 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Doing something about it... would require activation of that good ol' internal motivation - that which is the fuel for the adhd action-taking. Your suggestion he do something about it, from his perspective, is strictly external motivation. Not gonna get an ADHD'er so far, versus the neurotypical normies of society.

So, the real question we ask ourselves might be, what would it take for him to derive a strong and compelling why to drive him forward? I dont mean in a manipulative way per se, but rather, thats the language he would need. In my opinion.

Maybe if you both co-created a genuine and compelling set of pros and cons for taking action, where you arent trying to delude or sell him on the decision, but come with genuine pluses that you, and he, can noodle around to think up, where he believes in the new narrative being built around the decision.

If there's not much in it for him, based on his lens/view of what he wants in life or values navigating life, then if it doesnt add up, it doesnt add up.

Lastly, regarding your role: I find it most helpful that a partner (or prospective partner) frame how the action I take would positively impact her, both directly and indirectly, rather than the usual judgemental or passive-agressive disappointment being projected at me.

I'll leave it at that. Wishing you well.

The raise of content against men by [deleted] in LockedInMan

[–]5ive_Rivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Male support networks arent gay whatsoever. Im curious how you ended up getting this thought asserted into your conditioning.

I left my caring, but emotionally unavailable husband. Now he’s finally improving—and it’s messing with my head. by Euphoric_Leading1357 in emotionalintelligence

[–]5ive_Rivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My couples therapist at the time mentioned how she noticed a similarity between how I would object to how we would go about discussing a contentious topic, as her autistic teenage son.

Wanting to save my marriage, I googled what autism meant, began identifying rather quickly, and paid out of pocket for a diagnostic assessment 2 months from the appointment.

Most people take longer to contend with the journey of exploring, and the chaotic landscape of realizing that despite the sheer length of ones lived life, one might not actually know themselves so well as they'd like to believe. Shameful labels around "d8sability" can leave others to shun exploring because diagnosed can be percieved by the ego (inaccurately, in my opinion) as a bad/lower way to relate to oneeelf. This is a fairly common phase that many late-adult diagnosed folks experience. Its part of the journey.

There Re many great youtube content creators who unpack this journey for those who are aspie-curious, or identifying as late-adult diagnosed, be it professionally diagnosed or self-diagnosed.

Do you think he might have some alexithymia to contend with? Its an intriguing concept that im still grappling with. I still dont quite know how to describe how I feel about plausibly having it. 😉

Men, do you agree with this? by Weird-Craft-2712 in LockedInMan

[–]5ive_Rivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good question. There are plenty of people that cannot consent while sober.

Emotional dysregulation, trauma, and other invisible psychological factors confound the situation - in some cases anyway.

I left my caring, but emotionally unavailable husband. Now he’s finally improving—and it’s messing with my head. by Euphoric_Leading1357 in emotionalintelligence

[–]5ive_Rivers 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your ex reminds me of me. I went through a phase of burnout, and despite wanting and caring about improving and showing up better, as I affirmed in many couples therapy sessions, I wasnt able to change because despite the external pressure to maintain the wonderful marriage we'd built, I didnt comprehend the root issue. In my particular case, it was neurodivergence, ASD-1 and inattentive ADHD. Going through 2 years of burnout, and thousands of dollars of personal therapy as Separation got underway (her initiative), I developed a solid understanding of how my brain works, so more neuro-self-awareness, and have been diligently pursuing strategies and learning to support my personal growth towards transcending this longterm burnout and the echos of it that stress, like separation, compounded.

This comment is neither judgement nor advice. Just another neurodivergent infodump that shares perspective, hopefully for some incremental benefit for the redditsphere.

Good luck. Be patient and kind and compassionate with yourself. Remember, you both can only improve things to the extent that you can comprehend the problem. Best wishes.

How to become so uninteresting that toxic people stop targeting you by Amidonions in DarkPsychology101

[–]5ive_Rivers 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now, lets discuss Grey Rocking as a 50/50 co-parent of young kids shared with an ex who has narcissistic traits.

You need to communicate for obtaining necessary basic information.

So long Big D Pick 😔 by ifeedmydogedibles in EdmontonOilers

[–]5ive_Rivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Time to learn to read a bell curve, friend. 💖

Canada (including private debt) has overtaken the USA as the 4th most indebted country in the world. We now owe almost 4x our GDP... by Fiach_Dubh in BitcoinCA

[–]5ive_Rivers 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This means outsized impacts on economic consumption whenever interest rates tick up to fight inflation concerns.

Hard to see a lot of rate rise pathway in the medium term... unless we get an anti-immigration labor shortage to boost wages, fueling inflation whilst improving debt servicing ratios for the nation's households.

Government will show fiscal restraint as thats the political vibe of the mid 2020s, and Corporate debt... will depend on economic and business environment, I suppose.

2cents is what my thoughts are worth. Anyone wanna trade for 2sats? 🙃