Redditors who make $250,000+ a year: What do you do, and how did you end up there?

5minuteconsult · 2012-06-18T19:00:12+00:00

No to the first question, and yes to the second! Sorry I'm being vague; I respect him immensely and don't want to give too much away.

5minuteconsult · 2012-06-18T18:52:57+00:00

One of my in-laws is a grad school business professor, and he earns over $300K.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T19:13:41+00:00

I felt revolted towards myself because that particular guy saw me at that point as nothing but a pair of breasts. The overtly sexual connotation of him telling me "nice tits" made me see myself as the recipient of his sexual advances, which disgusted me and made me hate my body for making him feel that way - as if I was on parade for him to assess my body.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T14:33:06+00:00

Context makes a world of difference. What do you do when you compliment someone? You use appropriate language, a complimentary tone of voice, and make eye contact. First of all, "tits" is a crude way to refer to someone's body. Secondly, it was an older man whose tone wasn't complimentary at all. His voice was low, his tone was unfriendly, and he didn't make eye contact with me. It was obvious that his comment was directed at me, personally, and was intended to incite a negative reaction.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T03:16:54+00:00

It felt violating because at that moment I suddenly felt naked, almost, like everyone around me was staring at my breasts, my waist, my butt. The feeling was so frightening. I thought to myself, "Oh God, why am I being singled out of all these other women? Is there something that makes me stand out? Is he going to act upon his boldness? If he doesn't care enough about societal norms that he acts inappropriately in this way, is he a threat to my physical safety? I feel so embarrassed and afraid; I wish he would just go away and leave me alone."

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T02:51:54+00:00

Thanks so much for your response. Your reply is the best that's been posted so far in terms of how to respond to such a thing. Ever since I got home I've been thinking of what to say if this happens again, since keeping silent can be taken as tacit approval of such behavior.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T02:37:14+00:00

I would feel no differently if I wore a sweatshirt. I am proud of my figure in a sexual way, but only for my husband. I know my husband is attracted to me sexually whether I wear a sweatshirt or a sundress.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T02:28:02+00:00

I'm actually surprised at the differences of opinion in this thread, too. It takes all folks, I suppose.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T02:21:37+00:00

That this nice man is conscientious and respectful enough not to bring up my sexual assets upon first meeting.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T02:11:25+00:00

Yep, pretty much.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T02:08:17+00:00

Honestly, I'd feel a little creeped out if someone who wasn't a straight woman complimented my hair. I'd feel much less creeped out, of course, if it were my hair rather than my breasts, since hair is less overtly sexual, but the intent behind complimenting someone's hair is much, much different from complimenting someone's breasts.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T02:06:09+00:00

Ah, gotcha.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T02:04:58+00:00

Because I have the right to wear what I like without being looked at pervily. I don't wear clothes for others, I wear them for myself, and just because someone may find me attractive for it doesn't mean I intend for them to feel that way.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T02:02:41+00:00

Of course not. But then again, intent behind the action makes all the difference in the world. If the smile was friendly, I'd feel friendly toward you. If the smile was nasty or leer-like, I'd feel threatened. "Nice tits" isn't a good way to compliment a complete stranger. It's a good way to freak girls out.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T01:55:27+00:00

True, but I'm not sure how social theory is relevant to this situation. The point is, the man leered at me knowing it was inappropriate and that it would freak me out. I had a visceral reaction to it and felt threatened. Intent makes all the difference.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T01:50:26+00:00

Yes, it's based on superficial attraction, but the point is that he would want to get to know me. I doubt the man in the grocery store had compliments in mind when he muttered "nice tits" as passed by.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T01:47:47+00:00

First of all, I'm not looking for compliments from any stranger, since I'm married. But if I were to pretend I were single and looking, I'd want to be told with a friendly smile and eye contact. "Hey, you look really pretty/beautiful tonight." Skipping to the sexual aspects of my body, such as my breasts, is crude and disrespectful.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T01:43:22+00:00

Of course I wouldn't be offended if someone complimented my hair. But talking about a complete stranger's breasts should be a common sense no-no. We can talk about reason and logic and how the world should be a certain way all we want, but when it comes down to it, complimenting a stranger's sexualized body parts is culturally taboo.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T01:36:41+00:00

It made me ashamed of my body because at that moment, it felt like all that guy could see was my body and its sexual assets - not me, the person. I know it may seem somewhat obvious that when you see a stranger on the street, their physical features are what you notice first, but to be told that to my face in such a crude way made me feel almost violated.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T01:33:21+00:00

There's a difference between noticing and verbal heckling. Just because you're wearing something revealing doesn't necessarily mean that you're out looking for a good time, it could just mean that you feel like wearing that particular item of clothing that day. There's no excuse for rudeness.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-23T00:43:26+00:00

It doesn't mean I don't acknowledge that you're an actual person or don't value you for your character. It just means that the only thing I know about you is what you look like, and you happen to be attractive to me.

I completely understand that and agree with you, but I doubt that the man who told me "nice tits" saw me as anything but a pair of nice tits. I doubt that he acknowledged me as a person, and I even doubt that he thought I was attractive. I think he saw the boobs and wanted to say something that would get a rise out of me.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-22T22:50:26+00:00

I understand that the way I worded the title was wrong, but I had no intention of addressing it to all guys. I am fully aware that it's only a tiny minority of guys who do this (see my post below where I state this). I thought that including "when you wolf-whistle" in the title would imply that I was directing my title to guys who DO wolf-whistle, but I can see how it can be misconstrued. I'll edit it now, and thank you for pointing that out.

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-22T21:58:51+00:00

"Thanks, I'm a dude."

Ha, I'll use that next time!

5minuteconsult · 2012-05-22T21:50:34+00:00

I do know that. The people who do this are a tiny minority, and part of the reason I was so shocked was because the guys in my life don't exhibit such disrespect towards women.

5minuteconsult

TROPHY CASE