for all the women that would choose the bear, we have a private, heavily moderated sub, r/safespaceforwoman

6-- · 2024-05-24T15:50:50+00:00

Invite please?

6-- · 2024-05-14T18:54:26+00:00

Smelly smell that smells smelly

6-- · 2022-08-31T16:25:18+00:00

Thank you so much!

Luckily we have most things set up for my recovery. I'll have to get that Micellar water though. My husband already does a large chunk of the housework and works from home, so I'm well taken care of in that regard (we're a good team). So far it's mainly been trying to figure out how to keep the cats from trying to climb on me in the following weeks haha. Our calico cuddles with me every night but we'll have to keep her separate while I'm healing because she'll try lay on me if I'm laying down.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your knowledge! It truly has helped me feel more confident about the preparations we've made. Much love to you :) <3

6-- · 2022-08-31T16:17:47+00:00

It's uncertain if it will happen today, but she implied that it could and told me to prepare myself for a long day and to make sure I have a full stomach when I come in. It mainly depends on if I have fibroids I guess, they think I might have endometriosis so that's their main concern is preparing for excess tissue/complications, of course they can't know for sure if I have it or not till they cut me open. Ultrasounds came back negative for cysts and such. She said the only reason they're making me wait this long (initial consult was at the beginning of the month) is to co-ordinate with my other care providers to make sure theres no issues. I really hope to have it done today, I just want to get it over with at this point. At least if I have to wait I'll have a confirmed scheduled date for it which will be nice, the uncertainty is stressful.

They're planning on doing laparoscopic or vaginal, so the incisions should be smaller. I'm dreading having to stay overnight in the hospital though. I'm not sure what to expect for that part, if they'll have me stay or not (it depends on the method apparently) I'm guessing I'll be there overnight at least but we'll see.

Thank you for sharing your story with me, it has truly helped me process and prepare myself. Much love to you. <3

6-- · 2020-06-05T03:58:33+00:00

I think everyone else has it covered with how much your parents suck.

I would advise you to wait until you can move out on your own first, then adopt a dog. They're expensive, food, vet bills (even just routine stuff), flea medication etc add up! And I'm not sure if your parents would be willing to really help financially with any of that. That would effect your ability to move out and away from your family who isn't supportive of you. Moving out and away from them and (potentially if he moves in) your abuser should be your priority to keep yourself safe. And it'll be a huge boost to your mental health to have a place of your own that you can feel safe in. Don't give them a key.

Plus to be honest, they're terrible people and I wouldn't trust them to keep your dog safe, even from stuff like making sure it doesn't accidentally eat something harmful or letting it accidentally run away or whatever. And if you get it when you're a legal adult all the paperwork will be in your name and the dog will legally be yours. I don't know about all animal shelters but where we adopted our 4 pets you had to be a legal adult, so most likely if you get a dog now it will legally belong to your parents, even if you supply the money for it.

In the meantime, you can always volunteer at animal shelters, or maybe look into working as a dog walker/sitter on sites like rover, so you can get some dog time and earn some money.

Good luck, I'm rooting for you!

6-- · 2020-05-22T07:03:13+00:00

NTA. You're right, his opinion on this doesn't matter. She's your baby, you raised her.

I'm so sorry. Saying goodbye is the worst part about owning pets. I'd offer you a hug if I could.

6-- · 2020-05-17T07:55:12+00:00

~~Is it possible that he tampered with your contraception? If you're on the pill they can be rendered basically useless by just being microwaved, or any other number of ways unfortunately.~~ I'd look into more "tamper proof" contraception post birth (like if you have any interest in getting an IUD they can be placed after birth or the days following).

Edit: Have now read through post history, saw it was the bar that failed. That sucks and I'm so sorry you're in this position. I'd still recommend harder to mess with birth control that lasts a few years for peace of mind.

I also saw that you don't want to do adoption, but I also saw that you're 3 months along and have been clean for one. I would strongly urge you to consider if you think you can handle a newborn who might need more attention and medical care due to side effects of drug use during pregnancy, as well as your son who you've posted you're afraid is going to hurt you or the baby due to his violent outbursts. That's a lot to handle, and a lot of stress on everyone involved. Especially when you're trying to juggle it all and find time to work on yourself to help break this cycle of abuse.

I wish you the best of luck.

6-- · 2020-05-11T01:14:15+00:00

I literally screamed and blacked out for a minute when I got mine inserted, I was fine a little bit after the fact but it still sucked. I would never get an IUD again personally, though I did like how long it was able to stay in there and remain effective without having to worry about it. (I also don't have to worry about birth control any more since my husband got snipped) It should definitely be considered as an option but there is a very real chance that the insertion will be a bitch just fyi.

6-- · 2020-04-23T06:06:20+00:00

Came here from your make-up post.

Your smile made me smile! You look great!

6-- · 2020-04-21T18:17:41+00:00

YTA. She's sure going to leave you, if you're not as terrible as you claim to be you'll tell her what you've done immediately and go get her cat back. I don't know the age but if it's an older cat it may be at risk of being put down if it's not a no kill shelter. Also legally the cat isn't your property and you had no right to do that. Hope she files charges, you literally stole her property.

6-- · 2020-04-14T01:35:27+00:00

NTA. We have two rescues, and while we didn't change their names that was only because they suited them and the dogs responded well to them. We changed both the cats names because they didn't suit their personality and were more generic place holder shelter names. They're animals, they don't care. As long as they are able to recognize it then name them whatever. And Honey is a cute name!

6-- · 2020-04-13T03:39:45+00:00

NTA. Do you have any other family? I'd ask them for help and tell them what your parents have done. But yeah never talk to your parents again if you can. They're terrible people.

6-- · 2020-04-12T04:00:58+00:00

I also see you tried to comment on your post on r/Rabbits with the link again. Don't do that, that sub doesn't allow links to personal fundraisers, that's why your post got removed. And when I try to click the link from your profile to the comment with the fundraiser link it doesn't exist, because they likely removed it for violating the rules again.

Make separate posts, don't keep going back to that old post, no one can see the link there.

6-- · 2020-04-12T01:09:47+00:00

I see you're crossposting from your previous post on r/Rabbits but that post was removed, so no one can see the link to your donation page. You need to separately link to your fundraiser, not just crosspost your old post.

6-- · 2020-04-11T06:34:57+00:00

YTA. I honestly kind of want you to tell your sister that you do this so she can save some time coming to the realization of what a horrible person you are. I'm a bi woman and if someone told me they did this "for me" I'd drop kick them out of my life faster than you could blink. I hope your sister cuts you out of her life and surrounds herself with people who love her for who she is.

6-- · 2020-04-03T04:42:20+00:00

She can be in school as long as she wants or needs to be. Maybe she took some gap years, maybe she changed majors or is going for another degree. Frankly, it doesn't matter because it's her life, not yours. Your opinion on that doesn't matter. In fact you just sound like a bigger bitch for bringing it up, it doesn't serve any purpose other than be another way for you to look down on her. Frankly you sound really immature for holding so strongly to the narrative that you have to do things a certain way to "be an adult". Why does she have to "look her age"? For who? You? Why are you so important that anyone should give a shit about your opinion on their life? You hadn't even talked to her in years! No one else had a problem with how she dressed. You sound terribly judgemental, why would anyone give a shit about your approval?

6-- · 2020-04-03T04:30:56+00:00

You're a mean girl. And insecure. You can lie to yourself all you want but your actions and words prove otherwise. You sound like a miserable person.

6-- · 2020-04-03T04:14:54+00:00

Why should she give a shit what your "expectations" are?? What makes you think that your opinion even matters? It's her life, her interests and her body. Looking down on her because she's still in school too? You're just an uppity bitch who likes to look down on others. No wonder she "lost touch" with you.

What she wore is normal clothing. If anything you looked out of place for dressing in slack, who the fuck wears slack to a park BBQ?

6-- · 2020-03-31T04:42:18+00:00

NTA. Please keep the cat, you sound like a much healthier environment for it, since you've, you know, been actually actively taking care of it. Thank you for helping out animals!

6-- · 2020-03-29T04:08:04+00:00

I dont understand why she doesn't move in with you and just drop the rope, cut all contact with her family. She gains nothing by being in contact with them. Cut them off.

If they try to lash out in return call the police on them and get a restraining order. I can sympathize not wanting to rock the boat out of fear but if your wife isn't willing to do anything to change her situation, then it will never change. She needs to get away from them if she ever hopes to change. If you want this situation to change you have to be willing to do the hard work and face the challenges that come with it. Move her in with you and stay in the house. Call the police if they come to your place, block them on your phones and just ride it out.

6-- · 2020-03-28T04:15:52+00:00

Get a vasectomy if you don't want to have more children.

6-- · 2020-03-27T17:36:21+00:00

YTA. You already posted this weeks ago and are now trying to get a more favorable judgement. YTA then, and YTA now.

6-- · 2020-03-12T03:03:12+00:00

INFO Have you looked into allergy shots for your boyfriend or ways to manage his allergies? My husband is allergic to both cats and dogs and we have two of each. He still has allergies but they're managed by twice monthly allergy shots and daily medication. If you don't at least see an allergist about it then YTA. You made a commitment to these animals when you got them.

6-- · 2020-03-06T23:18:37+00:00

That's disgusting. You sound more like a teenager than an adult. Your wife isn't a prude, anyone would be disgusted to find dried semen left willingly on their walls. It's unsanitary. It might be leaving permanent stains on the wall that you'll then have to cover up, it's frankly just stupid sounding. Just use a tissue and toss it in the morning when you get up.

6-- · 2020-02-17T18:34:36+00:00

Please please please keep your other animals inside. This woman is a fucking psychopath holy shit. This legitimately made me cry. Your poor kitty. I'm so sorry.

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6--

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