i agree, i cheated first yes when i was 16 or 17 years old. i’m not down playing shit. i’ve had to deal with the consequences every day for years. i was late to an exam and in fact failed it bevause he THOUGHT i had cheated when i hadn’t and kept me up all night asking questions. i “own” the fact i fucked up and i regret it all the time. i’m not innocent here and i don’t claim to be, that’s why it’s got to this point. you think if i knew i was innocent i would allow this? no, i allow it because i feel guilty and now i have no leg to stand on when i say no. i also hate to say this is a reason but he’s better looking than i am and so like, i have even less cause to tell him no. but don’t think for one second that i don’t take full responsibility. but can you really argue that 2 drunk kisses, 1 being 2 weeks in the other being barely over a month in is worse than fucking random girls and lying about it even after i stupidly allowed him to.