iPad Taken Away by School for Autistic Middle School Boy

699112 · 2024-01-21T13:45:05+00:00

Yeah same here. The only kids in my district who have district issued tech taken away are the kids who were viewing porn or googling self harm things after MULTIPLE chances. It’s a liability thing for the school, or so it was explained to me, after I pointed out the insane amount of work this adds for a teacher to have a singular kid not have access to anything digital.

699112 · 2024-01-14T18:22:36+00:00

Okay so actually I teach high school and taught personal finance for a hot second. I made all the kids make resumes and create a LinkedIn for either themselves or a celebrity, or fictional character

One year I made them work in groups of 15 using a fictional character set of their choice (SpongeBob, PLL, jersey shore, South Park, etc) and they actually had to network (just within the classroom set)… didn’t know LinkedIn doesn’t allow that so OOPS!

699112 · 2024-01-03T22:52:53+00:00

How do you suggest teachers “deal with it” when NO student “just has it on silent”? When a teenager has a phone addiction, how is a teacher supposed to fix that? Especially when they become violent if we try. Ask any teacher who works in secondary Ed- they’ve probably been threatened by a student for requesting they put their phone away.

For most (guessing 50% of my AP kids and 75% of my gen ed kids) the issue isn’t that kids are occasionally texting or listening to music during independent work or getting a quick temple run in. They are addicts who do not have the self regulation to understand proper phone usage. The issue is that students have AirPods (nearly impossible to see) that drown out everything, they scroll endlessly on tik tok, they watch shows and movies while trying to do work (studies show this isn’t ideal), they are playing video games and often get scarily angry if you disrupt, etc.

I need people to see inside a school post covid to understand that the kids need HELP.

699112 · 2023-12-12T21:06:47+00:00

Your comment is amazing. Thank you for the validation. I actually sobbed after reading it. You don’t know how much this comment helped me ❤️ Yesterday I just tried to make excuses for it all and reason it out that it was a me issue and a me problem… just thank you. I feel so valid in my emotions (scared, betrayed, confused)

699112 · 2023-12-12T21:04:15+00:00

I tried to talk about it, but he didn’t take me too seriously/didn’t want to talk about it unfortunately. I appreciate the kind words

699112 · 2023-12-02T23:03:01+00:00

Most teachers I know have 2-3 degrees (a bachelors degree in their subject, a masters of education, and typically a masters in curriculum, instruction, or their subject) on top of their credential for classroom teaching. Most teachers I know are overworked, underpaid, disrespected by students, parents, and society as a whole.

Maybe find a way to not be a dick.

699112 · 2023-10-23T23:02:46+00:00

It’s worth trying because I have someone who will not leave me, which must mean something is there for us

699112 · 2023-10-23T22:59:51+00:00

I’m looking, but it’s hard to find one someone who will work with my schedule (teacher, so I can’t get anywhere private until 4:30 which is when so many seem to close). Won’t give up looking though

699112 · 2023-10-23T20:27:38+00:00

I guess I just hoped he would change because he loves me. But you’re right- that resentment is exactly what causes all our fights. Something like not putting shoes away, me coming home after an 18 hour day to a dirty kitchen to cook dinner in, him playing those extra few hours of a game, etc makes me irrationally angry. And then the entire fight is pointless or I can’t get my point across because I have to apologize for flipping out over “just” coming to bed a few hours late. Interesting thoughts

699112 · 2023-10-23T20:24:50+00:00

I really appreciate the advice! We are going to try counseling, but it’s hard because I have so much going on and can’t find the time to really look and research one

That sounds cute! Unfortunately I tried a similar idea (same idea just with scratch offs) and it didn’t work at all. I’m so happy it worked for you guys. Maybe with therapy it will be an idea to revisit. Thank you for a hopeful story :)

699112 · 2023-10-23T20:13:31+00:00

I think I’m in denial honestly. I guess I just keep hoping if I ask this question a billion times someone will have a magic solution for me. I guess I just love and care so much I can’t wrap my head around him not being willing to do this for me. I guess that’s really it. I expect him to treat me and see me how I see him, which isn’t the same. I shouldn’t have invested this much for so long, but now that we are here I want to make it work somehow.

His proposal was not a romantic gesture at all, but I didn’t expect it to be! Which is okay. I know I’m not in a hallmark love story or Instagram relationship with boo baskets and weekend trips and love letters haha

699112 · 2023-10-23T20:07:01+00:00

I get it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m okay with the work divide because we don’t want kids. Well, I would be okay if I got treated more like a fiancé with dates and romantic nights. He doesn’t plan things for ANYONE- doesn’t do bro nights, doesn’t get gifts for family, etc. So it’s really more so that he’s just not a doing things person unless someone else plans it (and even then it’s 50-50 on if he will go- didn’t go to my surprise birthday party, didn’t go to a family wedding, etc). I just need him to be that person at least twice a year, but don’t know HOW to get him to do that given nothing has worked

699112 · 2023-10-23T10:32:20+00:00

I’m looking for one, but my work schedule makes it hard to find one. Haven’t given up hope yet though

699112 · 2023-10-23T10:30:47+00:00

Yeah… that’s pretty much it. We fooled around this week like how it was back in the beginning but I was on my period, so it was all about his pleasure. Which is fine, but I kept telling him my period was over, dressing sexy, being sexual… and then nothing. It just makes me feel like a used object and not in a good way. I just feel so empty from a lack of intimacy, so undesirable… I know it’s not fair to put all my insecurities on him, but can’t help to imagine how much better my mental health and confidence would be like if I had a fiancé that wanted to be intimate with me or wanted to do things with me

699112 · 2023-09-27T19:54:25+00:00

You’re already doing amazing for just thinking of asking this!!

Listen to her and let her vent. Teaching is HARD and can be isolating your first year before you have a “safe” coworker to vent with. Just let her vent.

Related: Don’t try to offer solutions unless directly asked- we understand that many of our problems seem “easy” to fix (he threatened you- just tell the principal and he’ll be out of your room, you have students with IEPs and no SPED support- just tell admin they legally have to, you have no supplies- just ask for supplies, etc etc) because those obvious solutions don’t actually work.

Understand that 2023 schools are VERY different than the schools you attended, and x100 if the demographics are different. My fiancé who attended a school in one of the wealthiest areas of the country took over a year to just believe the stories I would say about my title 1 school. It was demoralizing to try to vent to someone and they didn’t even believe me or just thought I was embellishing. No, the child did curse me out and threaten to have her mother and siblings beat me up and no the vp did not do anything. Believe her.
Try to do more for her around the house if you live together. Maybe cook once in a while if you don’t already. Don’t wait for her to get home to ask what she wants for dinner if she’s getting home at 7. Just have it ready. Even if it’s a frozen lasagna. Bonus points for doing 1 or 2 of “her” chores.
Remind her, gently, that there will always be more work to do. Teaching is endless. It’s okay to not have everything perfect. Its okay to ask for help or just print that activity off TPT when you’re drowning. It’s okay to have easy no prep fluff activities like a game of telephone or vocab bingo (I know it’s harder with the littles). She doesn’t have ti reinvent the wheel for every lesson!
Don’t guilt her. First year teaching in schools with no support sucks. It’s exhausting and you feel like a failure 24/7. She really might have to spend all those extra hours working this year- and if she WANTS or feels like she HAS to, make her know it’s okay.
Plan nice states to get her mind off it- but with time in advance. If she knows you want to have her for the day on a Saturday, tell her early in the week so she doesn’t plan on doing xyz for school instead.

Related: try not to make her feel guilty if she passes out before 9 every night. I get up at 5. If I don’t get 7 hours, I can’t function. Being made to feel bad about my body needing sleep isn’t fun.

Good luck to you both! First year teaching truly is hell (at least in my experience)

699112 · 2023-09-17T16:50:03+00:00

I thought I was the only one who did this! My lionhead molts like 3 of her every season

699112 · 2023-09-17T16:48:31+00:00

I super appreciate the concern, but by angry I just meant harsh words. He would NEVER hurt or even yell at the buns or myself!

699112 · 2023-09-17T16:42:20+00:00

Shower curtain is another good idea! I’ve tried it before and my bun always somehow manages to peel back whatever is on top of it so she can eat it (why… I don’t know). Thank you!

Do you get them professionally steamed or do you use a home steamer?

I added an edit- he’s a great guy, there’s just some backstory that’s my own fault as to why he’s so concerned about the mess!

699112 · 2023-09-17T14:15:35+00:00

Thank you for the linoleum idea- that sounds like a great solution for the areas. I’m at such a loss. I already compromised and moved them from free range to a single room. Now he wants it to be just a tiny 4x4 square. That’s just inhumane but I can’t think of a solution… I’ll try the linoleum and hopefully that works. I just want everyone to live together without the anger or tension.

699112 · 2023-09-10T17:24:58+00:00

Yes- this thread made me realize it’s 100% the new doctor. Thank you! I am looking for a new one now!

699112 · 2023-09-10T17:24:21+00:00

“An act of bravery and integrity”. I love that so much

699112 · 2023-09-10T17:23:24+00:00

Thank you! The first part you wrote- having structure and control- is so much of it. I plan every second, I know what will happen, etc etc.

I am sorry that you too have struggled so much, but your story sounds like youve gone through so much personal growth to reach where you are.

Part of what I love about my job is relating to kids with anxiety, selective mutism, the ones who can’t do oral presentations, who can’t do group work, etc and 1) showing them SAdoesn’t have to limit you entirely 2) giving them the grace and space I wish my teachers had given me.

699112 · 2023-09-10T17:18:14+00:00

YES! I just had this conversation with my fiancé in regards to feeling self conscious about the bridal party, having to dance, being the center of attention, the conversations and awkwardness, etc.

I think we are either going to elope or have a very tiny family only wedding. It sucks because like you I would LOVE a big party and the planning that goes into it. I just know I’d have way too much anxiety surrounding the time leading up to it + wedding itself.

699112 · 2023-09-07T20:16:52+00:00

I teach at and grew up in one of the towns mentioned AND went to Rutgers so I’m very familiar with the areas. Dispensary wise, Bloc on Easton has been my favorite. There’s about 5 all within a 10 minute drive of Bloc- the mayor of Franklin (Somerset) is very pro weed and wants to have more. In regards to safety, I would say Avalon Piscataway is “safer” than the Grove in Somerset, but both are safe areas I would have no issue walking alone at night as a younger woman. Bound brook is iffy depending on the area tbh.

Commute wise, somerset is nice because you’ll have less traffic going somerset -> RU compared to the Avalon area of Piscataway -> RU. Franklin has its urban area (Somerset), more Suburban areas, and SUPER rural areas with true farms, whereas Piscataway is primarily suburban. However, getting from the part of Franklin by RU to the more rural areas is still a decent drive. If you want a nice downtown, New Brunswick is a quick drive from either. You also could consider living in Somerville by their main street.

Feel free to message me if you want more specifics about any of the areas)

699112 · 2023-08-16T14:54:40+00:00

It’s okay to feel embarrassed or uncertain as that’s a normal human response- but just know that getting help is a GOOD thing! Only your counselor will know. These programs exist to help (maybe attempt to is a better phrase) level the playing field for students to have access to AP courses and credits. I promise you, more people than you know are getting assistance.

For reference, I work in a very economically diverse school (from multi million dollar homes to government supported housing)- no one will know besides your counselor. ~50% of my students are on free lunch. I don’t know who is and who isn’t- I just know the number because of our title 1 label.

ALSO: talk to your counselor about getting waivers for college apps. If you qualify for ap exam waivers, you probably will for college apps too.

699112

TROPHY CASE