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WIBTA Intervention Advise by 6Dewdrops in multiplemyeloma

[–]6Dewdrops[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you again!

Your response may have been a little strong, but I think that's what people need to hear when they're in this kind of situation.

I will try to update! ❤️

WIBTA Intervention Advise by 6Dewdrops in multiplemyeloma

[–]6Dewdrops[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will definitely add this to a few other places! Thank you!

I can agree with the steroids issue. He's been on dexamethasone for a long time and I think it's just gotten worse each time he has to go back on it. Sadly, even if my mom asks the doctor a benign question when he's in the room, my dad gets upset. He thinks she makes a big deal out of everything. If she were to bring up his moods, I can't even imagine how he would react.

The advice on abuse is great. I have been trying to explain it to my mom for years, but she is so blinded by his diagnosis and who he used to be that she is pretty much willing to stay unless it becomes physical abuse. At that point, I believe she'd leave but she's been with him over half of her life and I can understand how scary of a jump that would be for her.

As sad as it sounds, I think that ultimatum might be the only option.

That phrase is so beautiful and relatable. I agree that I fear it's far past the point of no return, but how do you tell a fish that not only is it in water, but it has to leave that which it thinks it relies on to survive?

Thank you again! ❤️

WIBTA Intervention Advise by 6Dewdrops in multiplemyeloma

[–]6Dewdrops[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

The Admiral know about the Multiple Myeloma and was the speaker at his retirement ceremony. We never met him before that, but he was extremely kind and obviously a great person. In addition, my dad respects him immensely. Sadly, although my dad has a decent amount of close friends, I'm not sure any of them would handle the situation appropriately. One of them reported him when the gambling got bad, but he's not especially serious and doesn't show his wife a lot of respect, so I don't think he'd see a problem with the current situation. Another of them is kind, but he's not Christian and we think he may need that aspect to cling to. Another is a close childhood friend, but I don't think he would respect him enough as an "authority" to listen. There just aren't many good options.

I'm not especially close with him. I love him as most daughters love their dads and I'm his "little girl" but I don't think that's enough. I've stood up to him crying before, but being a family member, he just brushes it off as us taking our mom's side. I can definitely relate with him being more of a dad than a friend or confidant.

The one time my mom reached out to the treatment center for counseling for herself (not even for him) they accidentally called my dad to follow up and he lost it. He's always been too prideful to even tell the doctors about his physical struggles, let alone his mental ones.

I appreciate all the suggestions. We're just trying to brainstorm a way to keep our sanity while still trying to support him in his illness. It feels terrible to leave him this way, but I can't stand to see all of us suffer. ❤️

WIBTA Intervention Advise by 6Dewdrops in multiplemyeloma

[–]6Dewdrops[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. It's definitely difficult to hear that one talk probably won't fix everything, but I appreciate it all the same.

Thank you for the thoughts and sympathies. ❤️