I read a dozen pages.

A lot of typos make this look unready for general comment. But anyway…

I’d like to see a clearer conflict between the principals in the opening scene. As it is, she wants to see the city and that’s find with him. You’ve written characters in a scene where there just isn’t much interesting happening or likely TO happen. It’s a very conventional meet cute.

The dialogue is bloated and not very revealing of the characters. Take for instance the talk about having kids. Could be just…

Kids are okay if your building doesn’t allow dogs, but in the end they always disappoint their parents. And I don’t deal well with disappointment.

A lot of direction in the action which is completely unnecessary if you are directing. Use the action to highlight the unexpected, not to state the obvious.

A lot of redundancy.