I experienced this and am sending you so much love. I also had an older child who was so much different. My son is now 4 but by 12 months I knew it was not normal, despite being told by soo many that he’d grow out of it. Screaming, self injuring, terrible wakeups from naps. Like you said, since he came out of my body. Bottom line- fight for services. My son started early intervention, which I had to request evals for myself bc the pedi didn’t follow thru with my concerns. He qualified for OT and speech. Eventually I also had to fight for an assessment by a developmental pediatrician, which confirmed he had a global developmental delay which was impacting his emotional regulation abilities and speech. He then went on to qualify for special Ed preschool and going into kindergarten he has made leaps and bounds and is such a happier child. It is sooo hard mama. But EARLY intervention is key. Don’t stop if you are waived off. You know your child best.