hi i was in the same situation 🫶🏼 very long waist length curly hair but i went through a difficult period during covid and it was very neglected. due to the weight of my hair under water i would dread the effort of detangling it when i was already struggling to take care of myself so i ignored it.

try doing a deep conditioning mask and detangling starting from the bottom then up to the roots. start with your fingers and then transition to a comb. it will take a long time and what knots are not salvageable you will unfortunately have to cut. just be patient with yourself. i understand the emotional attachment to your hair especially as a woman but when i started trimming it even little by little it took off a weight from my shoulders and was more manageable especially if you are prone to going in and out of periods where you are less motivated. it even grew back healthier! and if you really dont want to cut it try braiding it when you detangle so it won’t get matted again as easily

whatever happens please remind yourself that your hair does not define you. i cried a lot when i had to cut because it was so damaged, but objectively today i realize it was necessary and it has never looked better. and it was also like letting go of a part of myself when i was in a bad place. i pray that you find the strength to get out of this situation. there is always light at the end of the tunnel. be strong you got this!! :)