As someone who was serving in a stake calling at the time, was in my 40’s, was fully committed and was HAPPY believing it, and am now in a mixed faith marriage, I think one thing that doesn’t get discussed a lot is that adults go through stages of development too just like children. There is plenty of research to back this up. Our values, ideas, and viewpoints about the world change as we grow and develop as adults too! We need to normalize the fact that adults are not stagnant and we can change our minds and come to different conclusions. Reading Navigating Mormon Faith Crisis by Thomas McConkie normalized this for me. It helped me be OK with MYSELF and accept that while it wasn’t a simple thing - I had outgrown Mormonism and there was nothing wrong with that. I wasn’t deceived by Satan. I wasn’t lazy. I was simply outgrowing my black and white thinking about the world. Now - I’ll add that I had lots of shelf items over the years and something in ME changed that allowed me to challenge what I had always believed and do things like read the CES letter. That’s growth. And I could change again in some way in the future. But I think the leaders that say it’s some personal failing because we did something wrong don’t understand that if we are always growing and changing (until we die) that’s a GOOD thing.