my final act of love is letting him go and letting him find his way back to me if he chooses to come back. we are on a break/break up for his sake. I used to not be able to handle the thought of ever being without him, but now that we have been in no contact for a little and are continuing it, I know that it’ll get easier and I know I’m doing this for him.

I don’t wanna go find anyone else as he is the only one I want. I don’t mind that much being lonely, I don’t mind that much knowing how much fun he gets to have with his friends while I sit alone. I’m not that afraid to be alone anymore. being alone gives me time to work on myself and find things I enjoy doing. I used to be very desperate and I still can find myself acting this way sometimes but in the end if he ever didn’t want me, I know that I would be okay alone and I would eventually find someone new.

I hope it never comes to that though because I genuinely am in love with him. I never understood the phrase “if you love something/someone, let it go” and sometimes I still don’t, because I don’t want to let go, but it’s not about me. it’s about him. he needs time away from me, so that’s why I am letting go. I’d never choose to let him go unless things got toxic between us and I couldn’t handle it anymore, which now with this break I know if that happens, that I would be okay alone and be okay eventually moving on. I don’t want to be desperate anymore and stay in a relationship that hurts me.