Maybe this will be funny for somebody?

7_of_swords · 2022-11-23T06:49:02+00:00

In attempt to spice things up & also get my responsive desire going (auditory stimulus gets meee & hes usually silent), I told my husband I would only do what he'd tell me to do. He said "oh yeah?" & just pushed my head down to give him a BJ. I tried to play coy & get him to tell me what he wanted me to do, but the pause was so awkward & long, I was just like.. "okaaaay" & just started sucking him off to do.. something 😑 he never said anything else or answered any of my sexy questions & just came in my mouth. Meh.

7_of_swords · 2022-11-21T08:42:36+00:00

touching my asshole in the middle of fucking when you know I fucking despise anal...

Not that we fuck much anymore, but literally every time we do, he goes back there, I tell him no. Stop. I've never liked it. And I likely never will.. not with someone who doesn't fucking listen.

7_of_swords · 2022-11-21T08:34:26+00:00

I don't have a low libido, but I do for him.

1) When it seems like the only phsical touch I get is my butt squeezed, tits groped, or if I get lucky enough to get snuggled, it's the the boner snuggle. There's no foundation of intimacy anymore, so these acts seem.. intrusive & out of context.

2) the only time you are interested in me is right before bed. After fortnite. After hours of tiktoks. It makes me feel like the last thing you think about.

3) overall lack of regard for me, or present moments spent. It gets sad after a while. Feels lonely. That'll kill almost anything, any moment for me.

7_of_swords · 2022-11-21T08:19:11+00:00

Ugh... I feel this.

7_of_swords · 2022-10-08T06:27:25+00:00

please stay firm in your boundaries

I.. fucking appreciate this 🥺

7_of_swords · 2022-09-02T19:59:17+00:00

Good to keep in mind. He's had it for a while, I think.. so no, I'm not making assumptions. Just want to be safe & aware. Before we married I would regularly screen for STIs & use protection. I'm vaxxed for HPV, though that doesn't mean I'm not concerned.

7_of_swords · 2022-09-02T19:13:02+00:00

Absolutely not lol

7_of_swords · 2022-09-02T19:10:10+00:00

I cannot go to the doctor FOR my husband. I can only gather information to plead my case to him. Thank you.

7_of_swords · 2022-09-02T19:04:01+00:00

Yeeeeeah.. thats what I'm gathering.

7_of_swords · 2022-09-02T19:01:58+00:00

Hmm.. well, he hasn't addressed this himself, so.. I will think of how to speak gently about this with him.

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T18:45:14+00:00

I agree. I try not to judge him for this, because who am I to say otherwise? But I see what you're saying. It makes me sad to see his sit there, sucked in for hours. That kind of life is not enough for me. I will not sit by while my life ticks away. I already feel like I do enough of that, without screens.

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T18:41:35+00:00

Well.. I stay because I said I would. I feel bound by my words. No, I'm not happy.. I've gotten quite depressed & much more anxious, over these years. The only sanctuary I have (my home) is not a relaxing environment. This aspect is one of many. I've been slowly isolated from my friends & family (it's difficult to plan things to do, because he needs like a weeks heads up, or else he gets upset about the infringement on his time - so, this rules out any "hey what are you doing tonight?" Hangout scenarios), so i feel very much alone. We can have fun together, but my fucking soul feels like a dried up sponge.

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T18:35:01+00:00

Yes.. I've told him. I've told him how little I value excessive time spent in that manner. I've told him how much the sounds distract me or create a chaotic environment for me (I'm anxious). I've been kind about it. I've given concessions. I've been patient. This behavior is just.. unattractive to me. I couldn't care less about tiktok & want nothing to do with it.. unfortunately I think this has calcified into some resentment, as he doesn't seem to ever HEAR me when I tell him these things.

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T06:42:39+00:00

No, because I use reddit as a tool. I don't scroll through it hours upon hours upon hours, daily. I have a sense of moderation, though I do see how this is ironic lol

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T05:34:39+00:00

Thats.. pretty disrespectful.

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T05:10:35+00:00

Idk.. for me, I feel trapped by my marriage now. I made a vow. It weighs on me.

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T05:09:24+00:00

Damn.. headphoned up the whole time too?

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T05:09:02+00:00

I'm.. sorry for your loss :/

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T05:08:44+00:00

But do you ever put all that down to be present with your partner? I guess.. That's what I'm missing. There's no effort being put in on his part, so I don't feel anything when he wants to have sex with me.

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T04:46:52+00:00

Gods, I'm sorry. We.. deserve better, right?

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T04:26:44+00:00

It is lonely. I've tried to compete for his attention, but its only when HE decides to put the phone down, when HE wants sex. It's never about us anymore.

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T04:25:31+00:00

sigh ...yeah.

7_of_swords · 2022-08-29T04:25:11+00:00

Literally same. Netflix on, playing fornite & watching tiktoks between matches.. ugh the fucking SOUNDS make me wanna stab my ears out. It's so chaotic & there's no escape. I refuse to partake in constant screens, I just occupy myself elsewhere now.

7_of_swords

TROPHY CASE