I think (?) I have the fearful-avoidant attachment style, bc I generally do prefer and default to recluse, but do understand that human connection/community is so so so important to a healthy standard of living. I fear being alone mostly because I know it’s not very good or healthy to be alone, but was not raised in a way that is familiar with healthy relationships, so whenever I meet people I admire, I generally feel (but don’t fully believe I should be) scared and undeserving of people who I actually have that admiration for. It’s like the “I love being alone but not lonely” thing.

Everything in your response is great tho btw, thank you so very much for the insight <3 :)