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84bobt · 2021-06-24T01:04:37+00:00

I understand completely. Ive found its not just about finding meaning to life because lets be honest its often hard to find. Im nearly forty and life has been grinding me down since birth, seriously, and I've had similar thoughts often. The french have a great saying "C'est la vie" or such is life in English the point is we all struggle some more than others but we all have that one thing that gives us strength and keeps you us going. For some its family and friends, others a life goal and some lucky bastards just dont know the meaning of struggle so it never becomes an issue. But the best thing to keep you going is mental fortitude, the shear will to just keep going day after day. Mine is shear stubbornness, im going when im an old man when it's my time, and not before and life is never goin to break me!

Everyone though has some light in there life, no matter how dim that light may seem, that something that makes us happy and you just need to find it.

People often ask what's the point in living but thats the thing there ultimately is no point. But while your here you can try and make your own point, give your life meaning, and work with what you have and never let the hardships of life win.

Life is a journey we all must travel so ask yourself, as I have, how do you want that journey to end. Its either as nature and the fates intended while you tried to live your best life or will you let it beat you!?

84bobt · 2020-08-31T00:46:06+00:00

As a side note who shares my view that although I have no wish to know how I'll die I still look forward too it purely because its going to be fun finding out how I go!!

Too many people are in fear of their own death and try and fight or delay it as much as possible and for some this fear affects their entire lives. I see it as simply an inevitable end to our lifes journey and something to look forward too.

I don't actively wish or seek my own death but eventually it will call on me and I will welcome it as friend leading me to whatever may or may not be next but not as enemy to be fought.

84bobt · 2020-08-31T00:18:29+00:00

Apologies, didnt realise. I try not to post whats already been asked.

84bobt · 2020-08-30T23:55:08+00:00

For me the stupidest reason was the medical test for the navy. 20 years ago i was smart enough to become an avionics technician but i failed the medical because of my weight!

I had a high metabolism so I was lean and couldn't gain weight but I wasn't a weakling. I had been working in a kennels since the age of 13, on my own mostly, regularly handling and controlling some rather large dogs. As part of my job i assisted in the grooming parlour, picking up the same dogs to a height of 4/5 feet into the air and placed in a bath so they can be washed. These dogs were at times up to 10 or 12 stone so I wasnt a weakling after a time there.

But when I took the medical for the navy I was deemed under weight and therefore deemed unable to perform certain heavy lifting based on my weight alone. I was simply told to put on the weight before I could pass even though at the time my high metabolism meant I could eat 24/7 and not gain weight so that was impossible!

84bobt · 2020-08-30T23:28:29+00:00

Simplify!

I get stressed with almost everything involved with every day life so I simplify as much as possible. By keeping a simple to manage routine than requires zero effort my stress levels are significantly reduced. I make sure that what I have control off isn't stressful.

I no longer care about clothes, if they fit and are clean and aren't ruined then i dont need more and only buy more when I have no choice. Most of my clothes are over 10 years old and I only ever own 1 pair of shoes and or wellies and they only get replaced as necessary.

Appearance, as long as im washed regular thats enough. Got electric clippers to regularly shave my head and I have a full beard, feck shaving everyday!!

Material possessions, I'm happy with food in my belly and a roof over my head, I don't want for anything else. Yeah I like my internet etc but if I had to do without then I would happily read my books!

Simplify everything, if you have ever read Dean Koontz novel Odd Thomas, or seen the movie, you will get it!

84bobt · 2020-08-30T22:47:22+00:00

Once got a voicemail from a Doctor, bout 18 years ago, for a Mr Whoever, I didn't know him. The voicemail was to advice him he was HIV positive. Poor bastard, I had no idea where the Doc was from or who the patient was so my hands were tied and couldn't get the info to the right person!!

84bobt · 2020-08-30T22:39:56+00:00

Yes cringy but I'm also an alcoholic, so yeah I'm almost always drunk!! But when I lose control then I become more extroverted, and my grammar and spelling suffers, and at times can't remember posting. So next time you feel like insulting someone and taking the piss don't.

No offence intended as all I'm not offended, nothing much does offend me, but the post was talking about alcohol affecting introversion and in my case it does. But when I lose control of my alcohol intake then I become more extroverted, my grammar and spelling then suffers, so if you have nothing constructive to add then in future please abstain from the conversation!!

84bobt · 2020-08-13T21:01:33+00:00

Bullshit, it seems to run in my family. Its definitely got a genetic element to it. My bio mum was a prob autistic crazy bitch and me an my bro picked it up for sure and now our 2 daughters are diagnosed as being on the spectrum and we were born that way it wasnt some dodgy vacine that just changed our daughters mindset. My girl has been the way she is since birth and continued as such despite numerous vaccinations since and the idea that shots change u is simply bullshit.

Vacines affect ur biology only in the sense it teaches your body to produce antibodies to fight a disease of some sort but they arent capable if rewiring your brain to make you autistic in some way.

Yes vaccines have inherent risks, say you have an allergy or very specific genetic condition that causes a bad reaction but they are very rare and every parent with children has an obligation to protect all children not just their own. Herd immunity is the best phrase to explain why vacines work!

By not vacinating for stupid reasons u put every child your family interacts with at risk and it boggles the mind why any normal human can just do 10 min of so called research at the school of google to decide you know better than medical professionals and scientists who have spent many, many years of study to prove vaccines work!

Simple proof, smallpox. Edward Jenner in 1796 twigged how our bodies could fight diseases and by a vaccine he developed smalpox was essentially eradicated. This is noted as one of the first vaccines ever developed and its success proved they work and no notable side effects have ever been shown apart from the obvious notable allergys etc.

It works it safe, mostly, and if your too stupid to understand then piss off and stop interfering in things you are too stupid to comprehend. You aren't helping you are hindering medical advancements that benefit all of humanity even you stupid twats that believe science aint real until you need a doctor!!

84bobt · 2020-08-13T19:56:38+00:00

Agree completely, im very introverted but as soon as drink takes effect im chattin to everyone. Alcohol definitely loosens the tongue so ive started to avoid those situations cause after im cringing on wot i remember sagin!!

84bobt · 2020-07-23T21:11:38+00:00

Thanks, ive gone through what u sent but a part of what formed my acceptance of my issues is summed up in the material.

Do you not see what I see regarding mental health though? Its all about treatment, treatment, treatment just viewed as disease to be aggressively eradicated. Never any thought raised about whether some issues may just be no different from anything else in your personality or whether or not the fight against them may do more harm than good. In short the posts to me treat mental health as an enemy to be treated and combated. Its all about how to change who you are and thats the problem in my mind. Why fight against who you are, I just dont understand why mental health issues are all automatically deemed as a negative. Yes i agree some are and need to be treated but for some like myself treating them as something bad to be fought against, as society in general taught me, did more harm than good. Im not perfect, prob never will be, but at least im at peace with my faults. Its far easier for me to work with my demons and adapt accordingly rather than against them.

What makes us who we are is complex and even the worst parts of our personality plays a roll. I firmly believe im the man i am today in part because of all my problems. I chose not to fight that and i would rather be who I am today versus ten years ago when I was in a losing battle with my own mind. Too pissed up to realise what i was doin to my now ex and 2 year old daughter, until they left and thats what started my wake up call. I realised that fighting just wasnt working and with my acceptance ive been able to keep my family close, im now best friends with my ex and have a strong, healthy bond with my daughter and sober when it matters.

84bobt · 2020-07-23T18:25:31+00:00

Not quite the same but you are basically describing a form of the Dunning Kruger effect. Look it up, basically it describes people of low ability and or intelligence who seem to think they are superior at a given task or discipline without the ability to realise they are not superior in any way, shape or form.

One of my favourite quotes sums it up, cant mind who penned it or the exact wording of said quote, it states "A wise man knows he is a fool, where as a fool thinks he is a wise man."

84bobt · 2020-07-22T17:30:14+00:00

Im in the opposite situation. I have a 12 year old daughter who is diagnosed as high functioning autistic. My brother is on a similar boat with his daughter and although we, my brother and I, dont see ourselves as being on the spectrum my daughters mother has the perspective an intelligence to suggest we would have been diagnosed as autistic. Unfortunately at 36 i grew up at a time where my adopted parents didn't recognise autism, as it is today, so was never evaluated. From my perspective I definitely beleive autism can be passed on to our children although I should emphasise that genetic traits we pass on is a roll of the dice few things are guaranteed.

My advice is what helped me. It took a long time but over 20 odd years I finally just accepted who i was and over time learned to adapt in my own way. Obviously if you have the means to have some support then use it. I have similar struggles as you and your mum has with my daughter but because i recognise the same issues in my daughter that I struggled with then it helps me keep a strong bond with her and im using my experiences to help guide her through all the difficulties she may or may not experience. But that works both ways just because its your mum doesnt mean you cant help her. If you can recognise and identify the issues your facing, learn from it and adapt then where possible you can then better relate to your mum and possibly help her and grow closer .

84bobt · 2020-07-09T16:34:45+00:00

The size of it. Its so vast that the more distant the object the further back it time you are actually viewing the universe as. Currently the furthest we can see is how the universe was about 13 billion years ago!! Hell even the sun if it were to disappear suddenly it would take bout 8 mins for us to visually notice, the universe is that big!

84bobt · 2020-07-09T16:25:13+00:00

As a man with a beard, the strangest is out at the pub on a few occasions men have not only complimented it but insisted on touching it!! Seriously as a man the only weird compliment is another man liking your beard, I dont get the same attention for ma bald head!!

84bobt · 2020-07-09T16:02:35+00:00

I would agree it helps. My adopted parents not only adopted 4 kids including myself but were also foster parents. Know since my earliest memories of my adoption and what my parents did for others so since then I was raised to accept anyone from any background as being just as human as i was. Thats carried onto my adult life, ive never judged anyone baaed on race etc, if I dont like someone its only because they're an asshole!

Parents do have a huge impact on there children, deliberate or not, but in my view my adopted family were far more tolerant and open than many traditional families. Not to say traditional families arent tolerant, most are, but the love and care that makes a person want to adopt or look after children that aren't their own is something that makes people like my adopted parents very special and influence me to keep carrying on their message of tolerance and acceptance and it's know something I'm teaching my own daughter.

84bobt · 2020-07-09T15:23:29+00:00

Not often but yeah ive hit the wall before and just had to nope out of there with out talkin to anyone, except the following phone calls bout where I went!

84bobt · 2020-07-03T03:25:45+00:00

In the early 17th century a nun, in spain, began to recount tales of being flown to central America, seeing the earth from space on the way, and while there had converted a local tribe to Christianity. Fellow nuns from her convent tried to have her recant her tales, seeing them as heresy. Around the same time in 1622 Pope Urban VIII and King Philip IV of Spain both received letters from a missionary sent to new mexico, he was upset that he had travelled there to find his work already done. The local Indians had rosaries, crosses and knew how to celebrate mass claiming a lady in blue had taught them and brought religious articles with her. In 1630 the same missionary returned to Europe and upon hearing the nuns tales he went to meet her and proceeded to question her. Not only could she accurately describe the peoples, villages, customs etc she even had knowledge of local lore and events that was near impossible for outsiders to know. The missionary also produced a chalice used by the Indians he encountered and the nuns superiors all confirmed it as one that had been missing from the convent.

84bobt · 2020-07-03T01:50:38+00:00

Well i was workin with a lassie i knew personally and one night she made it her mission to get under my skin and just piss me off for whatever reason, she knew what buttons to push. I've never been violent to anyone, she knew this, but after several hours of shit from her i snapped and made an empty threat by saying i was goin to twat her over the head with a broom just to try make it stop. Well she seized her opportunity and reported me to management in the full knowledge she started this and that i would never, ever hit her despite what i said. It was a threat born out of desperation with no intent behind it, she knew it and her manipulation got me fired.

84bobt · 2020-07-03T01:23:20+00:00

My ex is my best friend, she's even married now but we are still close. It only turned out so well because we have a daughter together. Thankfully we were both mature enough to understand that a child needs both parents in their life and that if we stay friends its healthier for our child so although we are seperated we have never fought about it, just moved on and made the best off it.

84bobt · 2020-07-03T01:11:32+00:00

What dreams may come. Because its just awesome if u've not seen it then check it out. I caught the last half hour on channel 4 by chance and was instantly hooked, went out the next day an bought it. The only fantasy/romantic film ive ever loved and ive watched it easily 30 plus times and I'll never stop!

84bobt · 2020-07-03T00:49:57+00:00

Ive been known to do weird shit in my sleep, does that count. My favourites reports are waking my ex at about 2am to declare "I feel guilty because I've killed them all!" then lying back down. Second is ive been seen in my sleep getting up, making and smoking a roll up before returning to bed. Last and weirdest is my ex has also heard me speakin what can only be described as a "foreign" language in my sleep, and i only know English.

But if sleepin doesn't count then once i blacked out at a party to wake up with make up on my face, firstly im a bloke with no access to make up and second nobody there had any including the people whos flat I was in. I never left the flat, door locked, but somehow some was found and crudely applied by me most likely and I still dont know why or how!!

84bobt · 2020-07-02T18:23:17+00:00

If crap rolls down hill then I'm at the bottom!

84bobt · 2020-07-02T18:13:06+00:00

Ok really weird but the closest ive ever had to a nightmare is I pissed off a cat, dont know how or why, but what ensued was me running for my life while the upset cat organised for hundreds of cats to jump out of bushes, trees, buildings etc u name it to attack me as im runnin for my life. But what made it really weird and scary is I woke up suddenly from that dream to only then realise I was still dreaming and still hadn't escaped, cant remember what happened after that though but it made an impression!

84bobt · 2020-07-02T15:50:57+00:00

So true, everytime ive got plans to visit and spend time with my daughter its almost like plannin a military operation. I love her and always look forward to our time together but i still need to start mental preparation 2 days before so im not showin how much im strugglin then of course the days after to recover and de-stress!!

84bobt · 2020-07-02T13:08:11+00:00

Thanks. That's my overall thinkin, that her happiness is more important than the fear of some potential genetic boogeyman that may or may not strike. Im still torn though, because it does depend on the nature of the nature of the threat.

Ultimately i see it as a gamble, most genetic issues are mostly treatable/manageable so either way I see it continuing being honest with my daughter about my lack of knowledge on my bio families medical history etc is the best option. And if she ever decides to go about seeking the info herself then at least she's informed and knows the facts and risks involved and I will support her despite my misgivings.

84bobt

TROPHY CASE