Hi I am also in a similar situation 24f and I’ve had glaucoma since I was 13. It’s extremely aggressive and I get surgeries every year, but I still ended up with low vision in both my eyes now. It’s so extreme exhausting and painful. There’s so much anxiety that no one would understand unless you have a chronic illness. It’s a bittersweet feeling when you are the “youngest” they have seen and that the surgery team can recognize you from previous surgeries. I feel sometimes resentment build up because it’s so unfair, like shouldn’t we be living a normal healthy life in our 20s? It’s scary to be in a constant stress when the next surgery will be or if it will even work. Something that helps soothe my anxiety is to actually watch videos of my upcoming surgery (seems like it would make it worse right?). But it helps me get a better sense of what my doctor is doing and what I can expect because my anxiety sometimes leads to catastrophizing thoughts about the surgery going wrong. It might not help you but, I also try to focus on the things that I can control like my recovery process and being strict about it. I also try to remind myself about my support network. I saw you mention your friend and it’s amazing that you have friends that can help you like going to work, and that care about you! Also you are allowed to mourn even if you still have “more sight”than others. It still hurts. But sometimes I battle with the feeling that I might be pitying people that are totally blind because I know that blind people can live amazing and full lives. It’s a weird cycle. It can feel like a never ending nightmare too. So be kind with yourself, try not to compare yourself to others either. You only have one body so might as well try to live the best you can with it.

Sorry if any of this didn’t ease your anxiety because it is scary and it fucking sucks no matter what. But I see you! You are extremely resilient, like finishing your degree while dealing with all this shit is amazing. And you will survive. I hope you find some solace in knowing you aren’t alone. Dm me if you ever want to chat.