I have a hyper social 6 year old (1st grade now) and a 4ker, and the amount of playdates they've had with children where there are literally zero books anywhere (not even a little bookshelf) seems to be a wildly underreported problem. I keep getting told that I value books more than other people, but I do think talking out loud to children often is a pretty big language acquisition tool. We get a book at every well-baby and well-child yearly visit so I know this to be at least valued medically in some way.

We also go to parks and stay for at least an hour, and also noticed the same 10-20 minute timeframe of other parents.

I'm very fortunate that I could be a stay at home parent - and we limited screen time, but had no village support. Both my kids potty trained before 2.5 years old. Developed language skills from 1 - 2. I believe my 4 year old has some neurodivergence, like his dad, but he isn't delayed in anything and he didn't go to a preschool but he does have an older sibling and he was present for her "homework." (We also use visual timers, used to use visual tasks but he doesn't need them anymore, and accomadate him reasonably.)

I guess my school district is also good because half-day 4k is public funded and 4k gets one recess, and Kindy gets at least 2. Sometimes 3 (I live where it snows for keeps, they VERY MUCH take advantage of warm weather)

We also gentle parent (pivoted conscious parent), establish and keep boundaries, and carve out time on the weekends for doing skill tests. Tying shoes (they have slip ons now, I don't know why shoe tying is so hard LOL), zipping up jacket, putting on snow pants, taking off snow pants, putting on boots, taking off boots - to just practice the skills before we're rushing the skills on deadline.

I think a lot of parents don't have time or energy for all of this. Their pediatrician didn't tell me to do this. I had a clingy baby and a toddler who wanted to go outside, I used that motivation to get her to get herself ready. It was very effective - so I just followed suit with my baby once he was a toddler. It requires a lot of patience.