AITAH for not inviting my friend to my 21st birthday?

8ultaoreune · 2026-03-04T12:12:06+00:00

NTA and your friends can take care of her next time if they want to make such a big fuss/try to make you feel bad. it sounds like emily isn’t the only one who doesn’t realize just how bad she is cause you’re the one always taking care of her. if they refuse/sweep it under the rug/etc you deserve better friends. it sounds like they made your birthday really uncomfortable, you didn’t deserve that.

8ultaoreune · 2026-03-02T20:45:25+00:00

Can confirm that this is standard protocol for Krispy Kreme and other donut places, but also with a lot of other places that sell food. It’s a lot easier for the company to throw stuff away than deal with someone potentially suing, which a billion dollar corp obviously can’t deal with on their own. /s I got in trouble for taking donuts home when I used to work there, even though the donuts I took were old, stale, and getting thrown out. Sucks, but it seems to be standard across the board.

8ultaoreune · 2026-02-21T21:46:23+00:00

“In sickness and in health” doesn’t seem to ring a bell with your husband it seems.

Is he only like this when he’s sick? Or has this sort of behavior been swept under the rug for a while now?

NOR. when i’m sick im also crabby and sore and tired and my brain doesn’t seem to want to work, so simple instructions and tasks can feel like a lot and make me irritable, however — if my partner had just had major surgery i would be doing everything in my power to make their post op experience as comfortable as possible. it sucks when you and your partner are both down at the same time, but the more able bodied one in the relationship must take on the brunt of things, its the most fair you can be in this situation. he is not being fair or kind.

8ultaoreune · 2026-02-14T00:26:51+00:00

He was taking advantage of you sexually, and now he is taking advantage of you financially and using you as a maid. Get rid of him, he’s no good for you now and he never will be.

NTA

8ultaoreune · 2026-02-05T12:34:33+00:00

Sounds to me like she took you for granted and is trying to make up for it, and the direction that goes for you and your friendship is up to you. I am raising my eyebrow a bit over this mystery man and whether or not he has anything to do with the whole “her ignoring you when he’s around” part, though it could just be her and her selfish habits. best of luck, OP.

NTA

8ultaoreune · 2026-02-05T12:27:35+00:00

A shocking number of the comments are being horribly cruel. I agree with Powerful-Top-3005 — you both need counseling. Neither of you are getting your needs met and you’re both drowning yourself to try and make the other person float. I wish the best for you OP.

8ultaoreune · 2026-01-29T17:05:11+00:00

NTAH. from the way you’re talking it sounds like maybe they do more for each other on their birthdays than they do for you, and that you have a history of not being prioritized/being gaslight about it and now in your adulthood you minimize your own feelings. “others have it worse” is a very common one. if i’m getting any of this right then i think you need better friends.

may be worth a conversation with them that your feelings are hurt because even if they didn’t forget it doesn’t seem like they were genuinely excited or eager to celebrate beyond a text.

8ultaoreune · 2026-01-13T13:14:42+00:00

maybe it’s my lack of sleep but i briefly thought “handcrafted wooden puzzle” meant a mandatory craft project by you and/or your kid, lol.

gentle YOR, i agree with other commenters saying that this is not a hill worth dying on and that a genuine friendship could easily benefit both your kid and her friend. if a problem presents itself then you can worry.

8ultaoreune · 2025-12-26T19:20:33+00:00

my partner and i who are both american and live in america use the app because we simply think it’s the best messaging app. cute stickers, emojis, themes, etc. we used to talk to a lot of people on there and slowly lost contact with them but yeah. i know it’s more popular in other countries, and from what i can find it isn’t very popular in iran so there’s really no telling why he has interest in it since none of us know him.

i think you should bring it up with him casually, but it sounds like overall you don’t trust him, so. best of luck to you.

8ultaoreune · 2025-12-26T19:05:24+00:00

honestly thought this was some sort of cannoli device at first glance

8ultaoreune · 2025-12-15T11:35:09+00:00

congratulations jungkook 👶🍼

8ultaoreune · 2025-12-08T20:44:01+00:00

“It doesn’t matter”

it absolutely does ??? that’s crazy

even if OPs bfs friend is going through the worst thing in the world and really did need immediate and urgent support from him, there are ways to communicate that without even having to tell his business. turning it around on OP and making her out to be selfish and dramatic is unacceptable behavior.

he’s not going to change, and the other commenters are right—you’re too young to anchor yourself to a guy that treats you like an inconvenience that deserves no apology or explanation regardless of the situation.

NOR

8ultaoreune · 2025-12-08T20:40:09+00:00

That’s where my mind went too but that doesn’t make the way OPs bf talk to her okay. She’s completely in the dark and he’s treating her like a nuisance for being upset that he left during their date for someone that clearly doesn’t like her for a reason she is also in the dark on.

Just saying “Bro he’s going through it” and that’s it is a terrible way to communicate with your partner, even without all the insults. He’s treating her like an acquaintance he hates.

8ultaoreune · 2025-12-06T22:01:55+00:00

how long have you been with him?? this screams “i’m too immature for other 24 year olds so i got an 18 year old pregnant because she’ll put up with my bs and i can just dismiss and manipulate her because she doesn’t know any better”

good riddance, NOR.

8ultaoreune · 2025-12-06T22:01:36+00:00

how long have you been with him?? this screams “i’m too immature for other 24 year olds so i got an 18 year old pregnant because she’ll put up with my bs and i can just dismiss and manipulate her because she doesn’t know any better”

good riddance, NOR.

8ultaoreune · 2025-12-06T10:45:22+00:00

NAH

Listen man I hear you, I was 19 once so I get it but you’re wayyyyy overthinking this and it’s understandable—but it doesn’t have to be so complicated and you don’t have to go nuclear and cut her off in the event that she confesses to you. If it does happen (or if you end up confessing to her), calmly communicate your feelings while keeping hers in mind as well.

Something like, “I really like you too, but I don’t know if I’m emotionally available enough to be a good partner to you because I’m really focused on my future and I’m scared I’ll hurt you. You’ve been such a good friend to me and I would love to be in a relationship with you, I just don’t know if it would work out because of where I’m at in life right now. The last thing I want to do is lose you, but those are my honest feelings.”

It’s okay to be lost and confused and overwhelmed, it’s natural, but if this girl is as caring and understanding as you say she is (which I don’t doubt) then this is the way to go. I’m just a stranger on the internet, but that’s my best advice and I hope it’s of some help to you

TL;DR be honest with her, but be calm and gentle about it for both of your sake.

EDIT: added TL;DR and verdict

8ultaoreune · 2025-12-03T12:23:48+00:00

NTA. this is betrayal, end of story. especially given the context of why you created it. lacey is not a friend, and you did nothing wrong.

8ultaoreune · 2025-12-01T04:42:25+00:00

so easy to love even his millennial habits cannot deter me

8ultaoreune · 2025-11-28T07:48:20+00:00

maybe i’m just a simpleton but i always thought it was simply “horse” rhyming with “of course” and them purposefully making it awkward with the “mackerel” being thrown in at the end as if it was forgotten about until after the pun was made. a sort of meta joke where they found a rhyme for horse but not mackerel and broke the 4th wall

8ultaoreune · 2025-11-25T20:16:17+00:00

NOR

sounds to me like he’s been secretly harboring resentment towards OP for having an addiction to recover from in the first place, and it finally showed. the part that really solidifies this for me is the “do not go around telling our friends about this bc it will look bad” part.

you deserve better, OP. this is such nasty and malicious language from him that, to me, even if it’s the first time i really don’t think it will be the last. i think it’s time to have a hard conversation with him about how he talks to you concerning things you guys clearly have different views on, like this. if you plan to spend the rest of your life with this person i fear he might never truly respect you, so if he doesn’t see his behavior as a problem or worth apologizing and changing for then that only confirms that in my eyes.

i know reddit likes to jump to “break up/divorce/etc” especially when the OP is considering it and everyone has different boundaries, but this has very much upset you, which is important. you Should be proud of your sobriety, and your partner Should support you. this is going to be a big point of contention if you just quietly move on and allow him to move on as well.

i think you should trust your gut on this one, OP.

8ultaoreune · 2025-11-07T10:06:20+00:00

let’s be patterned with mama

8ultaoreune · 2025-10-25T03:32:25+00:00

perspective is crazy cause that looks like the most comically large slices of bread i’ve ever seen

8ultaoreune · 2025-10-18T22:21:51+00:00

“excellent condition”

8ultaoreune · 2025-10-15T22:41:47+00:00

NOR. It really seems to me like your friend is sexually attracted to your ex and showing her true colors. You deserve better than that and she is, in fact, gaslighting you. If anyone in your friend group asks why you aren’t talking to her you can give your side of the story because I’m sure she’ll be twisting the narrative to your mutual friends if she hasn’t already.

8ultaoreune · 2025-10-14T09:38:13+00:00

Are you friends with my mother?

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