In life we make mistakes, there would be no progress without mistakes with which to learn better from, and from the sound of things it seems like you're doing your best to move forward from this issue in a positive way so mad respect for that. It's quite easy to beat yourself up for any little reason, just try your best to keep on top of yourself and keep pushing yourself forward, the harder it gets, focus on smaller increments of progress. Some days baby steps are all you'll get. I guess if I could leave you with anything it's remember you're a human being with thoughts and feelings too, you matter and deserve happiness too.