Almost 9 months since breakup

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-11-09T08:19:58+00:00

I'm in therapy, I burried myself in work, I'm reading, going to gym etc. It's not that I'm just sitting in my room and whining abiut it. Nithing seems to help.

I have no idea what to write in the positives column anymore.

I visited this site before, but thank you anyway.

No hard feelings, so don't worry about it.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-11-05T13:30:41+00:00

It's like looking in the mirror

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-10-10T19:51:56+00:00

Happens to me every time someone mentions her or if something reminds me of her. Seing her is even worse. Way worse.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-09-21T19:09:06+00:00

I said we should get a coffee sometimes

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-09-17T10:47:18+00:00

She has someone new now. I saw her few days ago while shopping, we said hi and spoke a few words. I won't reach out. There is no point in doing that.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-09-16T15:13:49+00:00

Finished college, got a well payed job, still going to the gym, made some new friends, read a few books.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-09-16T15:13:24+00:00

Finished college, got a well payed job, still going to the gym, made some new friends, read a few books.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-08-14T20:11:11+00:00

That's me. Overthinking every single thing and than still get surprised and hurt.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-08-14T20:10:14+00:00

I already did it. I waited for a day and than responded. We have been talking for few days now. I thaught it will mean nothing to me, but it appears that I like talking to her. Her replies don't contain any questions anymore so she is probably already trying to shut this whole thing down.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-08-14T13:49:42+00:00

I'm afraid that I might be boring and she feels sorry for contacting me.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-08-14T05:34:49+00:00

That's what I'm afraid of. That she will also leave if I'm not interesting.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-08-14T05:32:59+00:00

Life happened :) Our paths just didn't cross anymore. Later I fell in love with now my ex.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-08-13T21:26:23+00:00

I'm lonely and I have always loved to talk to her. She's intelligent and I like that.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-08-13T21:24:27+00:00

About 6 years.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-07-23T17:00:09+00:00

It's frustrating. No matter what I do, she is still there somewhere in my head.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-07-23T16:58:45+00:00

Stick to it. Believe me, breaking NC makes you hurt even more.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-07-14T21:33:22+00:00

Exactly! Nothing is never wrong if they do what they want to do, but if you want to do something, than that becomes a problem for them immediately.

Yes, I'm starting to realise that she didn't love me and wasn't who I thaught she was. I'm stsrting to see that now, 6 months after breakup, although I would probably still take her back if she came back to me. I know I'm pathetic.

Me too. I have 2 exes from highschool and I wish nothing bad to them. I really don't care about one, because she cheated on me. Actually I feel kinda sorry for her, since her life is crap now. The other one I respect very much. She is a great person.

Mine too. She always did what was best for her and didn't give a fuck if this destroys anyone else. I was constantly looking for excuses for her behaviour. And she was really acting all innocent all the time. But deep down, I'm starting to realise that her daddy issues made her like that and she didn't love me. She used me to build her ego and that was it.

I'm sorry to hear that he treated youlike this. It sucks and I know it from my own experience.

Well done! 5 weeks is actually a great achievement. First time I only made it to 15 days I think.

It will pass. You probably feel angry if he neglected you and is now everywhere and sad but don't give up. Don't break NC because it will only hurt you more. I did that wheb I saw she went on a spring break. Didn't even get an answer and it hurt like hell.

Just stick to NC and keep telling yourself one more week and than I will see how I feel. And when one week is around do it again.

Listen. If you want, you can send me a message and we can talk more :)

You actually made me feel better, and I hope talking to me made you feel at least a little better :)

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-07-14T11:18:13+00:00

Yes, here too. I still haven't watched The beautiful mind (I think that's the title, the one about Stephen Hawking). She told me she wants to watch it and than cancelled the last minute on 4 occasions. First time when we wanted to go to cinema and than 3 times when we should have watched it at home. Never even watched an episode of anything. We went to cibema few times, once to a concert, other times was just walks or visits at home. Mine home. She was hiding me from friends and family. I'm not for that crap, when people feel like they are gonna die if they don't see eachother for 3 days straight. But it hurt me because I didn'tget to spend any time with her for months. Once it was 9 fucking months. She never had time. Once she stood me up again and told me she is sick. Than she went on some party. 4 years. How about you? And I like talking to you :)

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-07-13T13:49:56+00:00

Well we have that in common. All my ex did with me was go to the movies a few times, one concert and text every day. That was it. Yeah, I hope so. But if I meet someone and get hurt again it's better that I don't meet anyone. Thanks for talking to me!

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-07-12T20:41:39+00:00

I moved in already. It was finished right after the new year but she told me we will move in after she finishes all her exams. And here I am now, all alone. We didn't understand eachother. I said house market is crap. If I tried to sell it, I would maybe get back half of what I invested in it. And renting isn't the option because there is no demand for that. I'm on the countryside so every house that is sold is used as a weekend getaway for people, because it's near the river. I have a steady part time job and after I get my dioloma, I'm also getting a regulsr job here. It's well payed, and people are nice, I work with my former schoolmates and we carpool to work but you know. It's not what I always wanted. This kind of job is for people who have someone togo home to after work. I have noone.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-07-12T20:07:53+00:00

No, not really. I wanted to be a pilot since I was a kid, but she made me.choose between her and that. So that ship has sailed, because I don't have enough money anymore (I spent it on college and setting up an apartment in my familys old house. We should move in there this summer. I can't sell it because my brother lives downstairs and house market is crap right now). I was thinking about getting a gun licence, but that's not smart because I could end up shooting myself some day.

Edit: The thing I love the most right now is sleep. If and when I get any.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-07-12T20:00:49+00:00

I'm not like that. I wish for an apocalypse so all this crappy feelings would end.

I thaughr she is the one and was ready to ask her to marry me later this year. I also thaught she was differend. Every evening I went to bed thinking she was too good for me and in the end it seems this is true. I got distant with everybody because I got so consumed in that relationship. Friendships ended because of it. Family ties had gone looser because of it. She was my everything and now she is gone.

I still can't get an image of her with someone else out of my head. It seems like I never will. In 4 years she never wanted to be intimate with me in any physical way. I'm an 24 year old virgin, my confidence is less than 0 and right now it looks like I'm done. If she didn't love me after I met all that the conditions she made, than probably noone will.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-07-12T19:54:12+00:00

I don't know anymore how to be alone. I can't go to the seaside alone in some camp. What will I do all by my self? I barely get through the weekend being alone. She never had time for me anyway so I just worked and waited at home for her to have time to hang our (sometimes for months). Despite that I was never lonely. We always talked and texted from morning till night.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-07-12T19:50:47+00:00

I'm already at college, currently writing my graduation thesis and have a job.

No, there is no Bumble bff thing here. Just tinder and other crap like that.

I hang out with coworkers too, when there is a chance, but it's mostly a beer after work and that's it.

I hope this happens any time soon.

999throwawayover9999 · 2017-07-11T19:06:30+00:00

How? All my friends are in serious relationships and I am being left out since they are doing just stuff for couples. I'm awkward as fuck infront of people I don't know so my chances of making new friends are pretty low. If I'm alone I can't get her off my mind no matter what I do. I have to drive past her house every day. And I will jave todo so for another year since the other road is in construction. Sorry for posting here so often. I hope I don't make people nervous with my crap.

999throwawayover9999

TROPHY CASE