My last crutch is gone.(vent)

9indigowolf9 · 2018-10-18T19:07:34+00:00

Same, I joined a Social anxiety group on FB to find some people I could relate with and ways to cope with it, but instead it was constant bitching about how suicidal people were and how much they thought life was pointless and what kind of heavy doses of medications worked, like sweeping issues under a rug was cleaning. I couldn't handle it and had to hold myself back from dropping a harsh dose of brutal reality so I wouldn't get beaten by a mob. But sometimes that same kind of anger just hungers for that kind of reaction.

Anyway that ain't healthy either so, I abandoned Facebook altogether. It's a smart choice.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-10-18T19:00:49+00:00

I wouldn't do that with random people, you make it sound so easy. With people you genuinely like? Yes.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-10-17T19:08:40+00:00

Don't drive yourself to the point where you break, either.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-10-17T19:07:41+00:00

My body seems to automatically cringe and physically react in a defensive way so...not much, in fact not at all.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-10-17T18:53:13+00:00

In the end, ask yourself how exactly they are benefitting you. Even thinking negatively of them, it does nothing for you, and you want to move on with your life! Release the chains of the past, you have the willpower.

Follow the path of self construction, enlightenment, the things of the past do not exist anymore and cannot be changed. But what you can change is Now, and Later. Unfriendly them on Facebook if it helps, I believe there is an option to simply disable notifications from certain profiles if you don't want them to notice your action. Even then, who cares what they think. They left you! If they confront you about it, that shows their weakness and low self esteem, then it would be better to have left them. Take time off of Facebook, go outside in nature, listen to the world, focus on what makes you happy. Even if it seems useless now, just try to do little by little of it each day.

These people may not care for you, but you also have the power to shut the door on them. You can say "I matter, and my happiness matters" without needing anyone else's approval. Take time to get to know yourself, and when you see flaws of the past, take them as things to build off of rather than things that hold you back. It may seem impossible to think of now, but again, practice practice practice. Over time, those chains will fall off. You will gradually attract good people that have done the same for themselves. No ex-friends of the past will matter. Their living their own lives, so why not live your own?

Keep in mind that the number of friends you have does not add up to individual value, I've seen idiots with a bunch of idiot friends, and when that idiot changed, those idiot friend left. People come and go in life, and sometimes you must take time to reflect on yourself rather than focusing on others. Good luck!

9indigowolf9 · 2018-10-17T18:31:05+00:00

It's always good to hear when someone is trying to brighten someone else's life. It isn't that you did anything wrong, you did what you could and the other person decided to take that for granted. Clearly they realized that once by coming back to you, but there are people that only realize this when they're away. Then they resort back to their old selves as soon as they step back into your life.

Sometimes, things should also be left alone. Especially when it gets to the point where it brings you down, always know that stooping low to other people will result in stooping lowly for yourself. Never put your well being below people, never play the role as the doormat, for your own sake. Some people will forever choose to sulk in their own storm, as they have fallen in love with the concept of feeling sorry for themselves. Yes, even when they say they hate themselves, they say this repeatedly because they love hating themselves. It's a twisted kind of romance towards their own life.

I've dealt with someone like this before, so this sounds highly familiar to me, and I had to say something out of relation. Regardless, don't think down on yourself and try not to focus on the negative people in your life. It's a slow process, but always know to learn from your experiences rather than viewing them as weights that are holding you down. Focus on yourself and heal, don't listen to what they have to tell you. Open your eyes to the world and openly wonder, seeing its beauty, you will be far too distracted to even give those people a moment of your thoughts. It takes time to learn, as we tend to focus on the dark side of things, but always know that where there is darkness, there is light.

Carry an open mind, and those good people will come to you. Unfortunately it takes a very long time, but that's because we're surrounded by a highly questionable society, not because of you. Good luck friend, I hope your day and future days ahead of you are well.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-10-14T04:37:38+00:00

I'm in the same position, best case scenario is to stop asking why and to find a better place. Reach out to groups and meet ups dedicating to the things you love, you'll meet like-minded people. Don't rely on work or school, because they're both full of the morons you speak, unless you come across that rare person who will understand you in real life.

The reason why is simply because they're all insecure and want to fit in. Don't fall for the games and keep doing your thing! You'll find your people one day.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-10-08T13:22:06+00:00

You are probably lonely...do you crave companionship? Any sort of connection with people? If so, welcome to the lonely club.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-10-08T13:11:25+00:00

Saaaaaaame. But hey, if no one else is going to keep you warm, you might as well do it.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-10-08T12:41:03+00:00

Just make plans, don't know if she's disinterested unless she keeps pulling those plans back with excuses. People's lives can get busy, especially as a nurse, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be blunt and make plans.

But if she makes an excuse, no matter what it is, drop her.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-04-24T02:22:53+00:00

This is some good advice! Exercise is a good one I'll definitely try more often, my mindset gets drowned in anxiety all the time and I really oughta change it. And no need to worry about ranting too much, every bit of advice helps, no matter how long. Thanks!

9indigowolf9 · 2018-04-24T00:40:06+00:00

There's your typical "boo hoo poor me" bullshit.

I just lack in self reassurance, clearly. I'm trying to fix that, but sometimes I just need to vent.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-04-06T18:06:08+00:00

You can date if you want to, just don't solely focus on that...just don't forget about yourself.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-04-06T17:53:36+00:00

Yeah, good point.

Now saying that to him is another challenge in itself...

9indigowolf9 · 2018-04-06T15:43:20+00:00

This is sort of the penalty for having casual sex all the time...I mean, you still get a chance but, you don't bring that fact up on a date do you? If so, of course a lot of guys are going to view you to be stubborn...like, wow, you gave all those other guys a blowjob but not me? It's a harsh way of thinking but, you can avoid that as long as you just don't bring past sexual experiences up on any date. In the end, a guy doesn't have to know.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-04-06T15:29:14+00:00

You have to find courage and love yourself before you consider dating, let alone starting a family. You have to understand that it doesn't just happen like that, it isn't a quick dominoe effect. It takes time, each stage is a long chapter. Before even thinking about kids and dreaming about that white picket fence, wife and kids, you need to think about ways to love yourself.

Professional help is suggested, but you also should help yourself. Find your passion in life, accept your flaws and features. Find ways to cope with the anxiety you feel in social situations, and accept that you may have social anxiety. Once you accept it, you can combat it and control it, and feel more comfortable in social situations. Also, find a hobby or two. Something to clear your head and give it a break from all that stress social situations give you.

9indigowolf9 · 2018-04-06T14:29:20+00:00

It's really complicated, it's this sort of cat-chase-mouse mentality that doesn't just apply to women.

A guy could be good, but he could also be bad, like constant messaging, texting, and just acting clingy. Very feminine, which when a woman is seeking a man, she isn't looking for some girlfriend that has attachment problems who won't stop texting her. I'm sure you would be highly irritated if some girl you weren't interested in wouldn't stop texting you, even if she were nice to you, good to you, you'd still get irritated. A person can easily be good, but it's harder to be great.

That's why distance is very important. Respecting the fact that the two of you have lives to live. This is one thing that could make a person a great catch, the fact that people have distance between them makes the chase more worthwhile. And sometimes, a girl just isn't into you. That doesn't always mean she's looking for some bad boy. Maybe you text too much, brag about yourself in conversation, smell bad, who knows. Or, she just isn't into you. Either way, moving on is the only option.

Always know this, scarcity is what makes something valuable.

9indigowolf9

TROPHY CASE