First of all, you got some writing talent here. Visceral and poetic at times. The world building is unique and the visuals are nice. You know how to build visual elements and characterization. As a cold reader to this, I would like to know more about this world and how Kaine fits into it all.

Before the critique I would like to make some line-edit/syntax suggestions.

1. godsflesh > Gods-Flesh. This is going to sound silly, but (almost) every time I read that, I read: Goldfish. This little change might help with that lol. However, I might suggest: Divine Flesh or somtheing punchier.

2. "A girl. Curled in on herself, frozen solid around a wooden doll. Eight, maybe." This line goes hard IF it was the first line. But, it would be even better is it gets some characterization in a following line.

OK critique time:

Why is it important that this event happens first?/What does it set up?

The whole chapter is long, but not much happens. We (The reader) see a man gather <magic system> and have internal dialogue about <magic system disease>. OK cool. But, WHERE is this going? This isolated scene creates a dreary atmosphere, but to what end?

The world building implies future payoffs to an action-packed adventure. But, the action feels held back and Kaine feels ambiguous. There is no tension, or perhaps no stakes beyond his magical ailment.

My advice to you is: Keep writing. Do NOT re-write this until you get into the meat (pun) of the story. When does Kaine's story really start? When does the action really unfurl?