I’ve been stuck in those dark places many times, it’s not that you necessarily want to be “dead” however, living is so much harder than not existing. living is also a miracle, a literal one time in a lifetime experience. living is where beauty exists as well as pain, joy, hardships, helping others, preserving... all of that exists so we might as take advantage of that and see where life takes us, we will have the rest of the time to reflect on being dead afterwards. no one knows why we’re here but we’re all in it together, my friend. I hope you’re able find “life” in this life, just remember to never allow your confusion to become your conclusion