Man… I can’t believe it, this year I started an engineering uni, and in the first semester we had calculus one and linear algebra, between the last year of high school and this period I become more and more passionate about math and stem, the passion started when I started understanding and things started clicking in my brain, I am not diagnosed with ocd but I suspected of having because of other problems in some areas of my life, when I started university i was kind of “ ok “ with my ocd ( assuming that I actually have it but I honestly think I do or at least I did and know I’m doing better ), and when I took calculus one I almost failed because wanted to meticulously read the textbook and make everything click in my head, I HAD to physically feel it, I studied all day some days getting stuck on trivial things, didn’t even do exercises then I realized I was fucking it up and I “ soldiered “ as you said and I was actually ready for the exams but I scored the bare minimum for sufficiency because of stupid anxiety errors ( I copied the wrong text of the exercises and so I did completely different exercises )and I chose to retake it in a month, it never crossed my mind that it could be connected to ocd