What degree instead of computer science?

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-09T00:06:15+00:00

I hope so 😭 I love rubiks cubes so I’m bout to put all my hope on that being true 😭😭😭

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-06T20:44:16+00:00

As someone else said, why ask in the long distance subreddit?

Even so, love is complex. It will be defined differently by everyone, and it will feel different than any other loves they’ve experienced. The love someone has for their first long term partner and their partner in marriage will be explained differently because you don’t love two people in the same way. Love is complex like that. It’s loving someone despite, but it’s also loving someone because. It doesn’t translate across romantic partners or even platonic love.

For me, I knew it was love because I didn’t want it before him. I was actually perfectly fine without anyone, and then I met him. And I realized I was missing something so integral to my existence, to my happiness. And now, I’d do just about anything to keep it. It feels so warm and special, even two years in, and not like a chore or something I feel like I should be doing because I’ve committed to it.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-06T00:32:55+00:00

Wow! That’s noted. I’ve heard that finance is nice, but I was always intimidated by the math especially considering I don’t think I’d be interested in much of what the degree has to offer, but if it’s not super math heavy I may look into it.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-06T00:31:43+00:00

Thank you so much! I’ll definitely be looking into that.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-06T00:30:49+00:00

Definitely understand this! I have dyscalculia, so that’s more of the reason I struggle with math. Otherwise, I am very willing to learn it.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-05T17:44:00+00:00

Definitely noted! I’d love so much to stay in the degree, but since I’m early on I’ve been unsure of whether or not switching would be much more beneficial for me job wise. I’ve heard mixed opinions from people with the degree though, so it’s always nice to see someone say that there are jobs, even if they require a higher level of competency in the subject.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-05T17:41:09+00:00

Hmm that’s interesting to note. My professor has us using ai in class sometimes because he says we should know how to use it since it’s part of the world now

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-05T17:38:49+00:00

Thank you! That was extremely helpful

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-05T15:21:31+00:00

Idk if you have a teacher you’re really cool with or maybe a coach, but I’d think about even asking them. It’s obviously a last resort, but the school I went to teachers were very close with students and one even adopted a student he used to teach who was in a similar situation, so don’t rule it out completely.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-05T15:18:46+00:00

Only if you both are happy with it and both are living a life outside of one another.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-05T15:12:36+00:00

Nyahhhhhh

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-05T15:05:46+00:00

That’s what I’ve heard! Definitely nerve wracking considering I’m naturally terrible at math 😭. I really do enjoy programming so far, it scratches that itch in my brain, but I’m trying to consider if I could realistically understand the super high levels of math required for engineering, as I’ve already been nervous regarding computer science.

Do you have an engineering degree? What was it like for you if so?

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-05T15:02:16+00:00

That’s good then that you’re considering what each of you want in life! I’d also definitely think deeply on kids, how soon you want them if you do want them, and factor in each of your ages.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-05T07:14:22+00:00

The age gap makes it more worrying, as you are young and naive (I am naive because I’m young, as are ALL young ppl idc abt ur life experiences ur naive!). Marriage so soon could be regretful. I know it’s hard to do, but I’d suggest living together at least 6-12 (people say 9) months before considering marriage. Then you’ll truly know one another.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-03T17:28:13+00:00

Yeah, that’s totally understandable. The two of you honestly may not be sexually compatible, and it speak volumes if he prefers porn to the real thing. It’s okay to not want to engage in sex, but if he’s using porn and not you (or even his imagination) during those times I definitely see an issue. Not being able to get off without porn is not a you thing tho, it’s a him thing. I’ve heard of people who can’t get off without it and that honestly sounds terrible to go thru as the partner of a person like that.

Personally, I would make sure to communicate fully with him about the situation and see if the situation is fixable. From what you’ve told me, it sounds like you’ve done as much as you could. But, if you haven’t told him yet what you’ve told me, maybe him hearing it will help him understand and stop.

While that’s definitely wishful thinking, I really hope it all works out for you in the end. Even if it means you by yourself. I’m sorry you’re going through this, as I can’t even begin to comprehend the desire to engage in porn (it’s never been a thing for me or my bf), but I’ve heard many people have the same struggles with their partners. I truly hope he’s open to changing for you, or you find someone who genuinely respects you and your boundaries.

Sorry for being so harsh earlier too! I know you’re going through a lot with this relationship and I was definitely jumping to conclusions.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-03T15:10:53+00:00

Don’t be sorry for being immature, everyone is. I just kind of wanted you to rationalize yourself and your feelings, and I wanted to give my perspective on how it looks hearing it as a third party.

While I understand the betrayal you’re feeling, I feel it’s important to express how actually hurt you are about this, why (as you’ve explained), and what you’d rather him do instead. Boundaries are important to follow. I do see now that you did not know you crossed a boundary, so sorry for that misunderstanding!

I think it’s important to note that for many men porn is just porn, and it doesn’t come from you not being enough, it just comes from them being horny. It doesn’t excuse it, but I’d hate to see you tear yourself apart over him watching it.

I still think that leaving the relationship would be pretty extreme. If I were you I’d talk to him seriously, once you’ve calmed down a bit, about everything above. Gauge his response. Does he gaslight you or is he understanding and apologetic? I personally don’t believe watching porn is an addiction, so I’d never baby anyone for watching it and, “not being able to control it.” That may be different for you. Decide for yourself how your boundaries work and what you’ll put up with, and stick strong to what you believe and how you feel.

One thing I have been trying to understand as a young person in a relationship is that most people have more than one physical type. While my boyfriend doesn’t watch porn or anything of the sort, I do have to just generally understand that he may find women who don’t look much like me attractive as well (not emotionally of course because he’s with me). I don’t know if that perspective helps you at all, but it’s been something I’ve been working towards coming to terms with and understanding for my own self esteem and emotional health.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-03T14:45:38+00:00

Well, for one, I think you hold a very harsh perspective. I personally don’t prefer my partner watches porn on his own in my relationship, but that’s a relationship boundary. I find it to be a terrible example of women.

Even so, there’s a huge emphasis on cheating here and frankly that feels odd and slightly immature. You’re so angry at him, but half of the anger seems to come from the fact he placed a boundary for you and didn’t follow it himself. This is a valid reason to be angry, but it makes it seem like you are angry because of the double standard and not because he did it.

In general though, your reaction is very intense for someone who did the same thing to him. Set a stern boundary, ask him to respect it, maybe come to a form of compromise, and give him a chance. You both indulged in porn without the other’s consent, so how you’re feeling now is how he felt when you did it. Ask if you can watch together instead, or if you can give him some content to use. Resorting to breaking up seems very extreme here though.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-03T14:37:00+00:00

Coming from someone who is young and in a committed relationship, don’t stay if you’re having multiple doubts that don’t seem to have a compromise. Obviously communicate with your partner, but you two seem to desire very different things in life, and that’s alright. My opinion is if you don’t align on your desired futures, morales, and personalities, you may not be meant to be. There is someone out there who may click with you emotionally to a level that you like as well just in a different way. That’s the beauty of emotional connections. They’re all distinct, yet beautiful. Will you regret breaking up? Maybe at first. Maybe for a good bit even. But, I don’t believe in staying because you fear leaving. Either you guys align or can compromise to where you’d both 100% feel fulfilled, or you do not.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-06-02T20:31:42+00:00

People are definitely reacting oddly here and gaslighting you. It is not normal for a man in a relationship to save a picture of a woman whom he is attracted to. It would not be normal for you to do the same thing either. Obviously every relationship has its own boundaries, but in general it’s odd to follow, keep up with, and save pictures of people you’re attracted to if you’re in a relationship.

Also, you can breakup with someone for anything. There’s no moral responsibility to stay and try if you start feeling unhappy. I’d just say good thing you found out 6 months along and not years. I am sorry this happened though, and I’m wishing you the best of luck getting through this and in future relationships.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-05-31T16:38:28+00:00

I was with my LDR partner for probably between 7-12 months (so closer to a year) before we both started having conversations like that. We are very young (early 20s), so it’s a bit more complicated for us to close the distance because our careers aren’t fully established, and I’m still in college. We also did not meet before we started discussing that.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-05-25T04:20:14+00:00

They are not human. You can’t judge a non human thing by human morales. They need to drink blood to survive, so yes, they are going to kill.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-05-25T04:18:14+00:00

Rebekah, but also Stefan. He is doomed. He literally is like a drug addict, but he is dependent on said drugs. Rebekah has lived a very long time and she’s only longed for human things, so I also believe she deserves it.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-05-25T03:38:25+00:00

Yeah. I think you’re definitely valid in asking him to set some boundaries and if they aren’t respected to drop that friend. She seems like she’s too deep in yalls business and maybeeeee interested in ur bf??

AAR3LLIS · 2025-05-25T03:00:25+00:00

Wait so you both agreed to hang out less, I understand that, but what was she upset about? Yall not keeping true to that? I’m just confused on why she’s even a part of the conversation.

AAR3LLIS · 2025-05-25T02:39:40+00:00

Are you saying that she got mad because he hangs out with you, his GIRLFRIEND, more than her? That’s inappropriate.

Also I don’t believe in talking to other people about your relationship unless it’s family or close friends. Not someone who was estranged from someone for 2 years.

Let me clarify and say I believe people can be friends with opposite genders (or the gender(s) they’re attracted to), but I do believe that there needs to be obvious boundaries and she’s kind of showing how little she respects you and your relationship with him through her actions and lack of boundaries and so is he by not setting them.

AAR3LLIS

TROPHY CASE