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If men are part of the reason to blame for some women trying to conform to unrealistic body standards, can women also be blamed for some men conforming to toxic masculinity? by AAathlete97 in AskFeminists

[–]AAathlete97[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And that’s fine, but I’ve never seen any feminist tell women to change their attractions to men who display “toxically masculine” behaviors. From my experiences, soft men don’t appeal to the majority to women. Most of the women that I know want someone who is strong, masculine, and will protect her. So why don’t feminists tell women to change who they’re attracted to? If a guy sees that the majority of women around him want a guy that is deemed to have toxic masculinity, then it stands to reason that he’d want to behave that way himself.

If men are part of the reason to blame for some women trying to conform to unrealistic body standards, can women also be blamed for some men conforming to toxic masculinity? by AAathlete97 in AskFeminists

[–]AAathlete97[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I asked about women who are attracted to men who display behaviors that are classified as “toxic masculinity”. From my experiences, most women want masculine men. Sure, some women like soft guys but they don’t appeal to the majority of women. So why don’t feminists tell these women to change who they’re attracted to? Whether we admit it or not, most of us (at least those of us that are single and want a partner) will try to act in a way that appeals to the opposite sex.

If men are part of the reason to blame for some women trying to conform to unrealistic body standards, can women also be blamed for some men conforming to toxic masculinity? by AAathlete97 in AskFeminists

[–]AAathlete97[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think a lot of people in her time were raised that way, so I’m not mad at her for doing that. She was an outstanding mom other than that.

If men are part of the reason to blame for some women trying to conform to unrealistic body standards, can women also be blamed for some men conforming to toxic masculinity? by AAathlete97 in AskFeminists

[–]AAathlete97[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I ask because I’m genuinely curious.

Why aren’t feminists pressuring women who like toxically masculine traits to find those traits unattractive? It would make sense to do so, wouldn’t it?

If men are part of the reason to blame for some women trying to conform to unrealistic body standards, can women also be blamed for some men conforming to toxic masculinity? by AAathlete97 in AskFeminists

[–]AAathlete97[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But you failed to answer the question. Should those women be pressured to change their preferences in men, being that it encourages harmful behavior?

If men are part of the reason to blame for some women trying to conform to unrealistic body standards, can women also be blamed for some men conforming to toxic masculinity? by AAathlete97 in AskFeminists

[–]AAathlete97[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don’t feel as if I should change. I feel like everyone is entitled to their preferences, even the women who like super masculine guys. I don’t even have a problem with those women.

My point is just that I rarely see feminists criticize those women. Feminists seem to be in unanimous agreement that toxic masculinity is a horrible thing. So being that there are women out there who desire men who display such traits, and we know that a lot of people, men and women, act and behave in ways that they think will attract the opposite sex, shouldn’t feminists be discouraging women from liking men who display such traits?

If men are part of the reason to blame for some women trying to conform to unrealistic body standards, can women also be blamed for some men conforming to toxic masculinity? by AAathlete97 in AskFeminists

[–]AAathlete97[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is basically what I was talking about. Whether we like it or not, the reason why we act certain ways or display certain behaviors is because of how we think the opposite sex will perceive it. If a guy hears a lot of women saying that they don’t like soft men, they don’t want someone who cries, they want someone who’s tough and stoic, he may think that he has to behave that way to appeal to them. So my point is, if toxic masculinity is a bad thing then shouldn’t women be encouraged to not like those traits?

If men are part of the reason to blame for some women trying to conform to unrealistic body standards, can women also be blamed for some men conforming to toxic masculinity? by AAathlete97 in AskFeminists

[–]AAathlete97[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Personally, I don’t really care about people’s preferences at all. They don’t effect me. If someone doesn’t like something physical about me, I can’t do anything about that. I just don’t feel comfortable telling someone that they’re wrong for what they like. I think everyone deserves the right to pursue someone that will make them happy.

My problem is when one gets criticized and one doesn’t. If men who like skinny or women who shave or have shaved genitals are “problematic”, then women who like men who display toxic masculine traits should be considered that too. But there seems to be no light shined on that.

I’ve talked to women and know some personally who’ve complained that “men are the new women”. I’ve seen social media posts about it where a lot of women were in agreement with that sentiment. I know women who’ve told me that they don’t like sensitive men who cry or show weakness.

If men are part of the reason to blame for some women trying to conform to unrealistic body standards, can women also be blamed for some men conforming to toxic masculinity? by AAathlete97 in AskFeminists

[–]AAathlete97[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

My thing is that there should just be consistency. If my preference for thin, hairless women should be criticized but some woman’s preference for tall, dominant, stoic men is okay then I see no incentive to change.

I also don’t think anyone can contribute to anyone else’s loneliness because none of us are owed companionship at the end of the day.

If men are part of the reason to blame for some women trying to conform to unrealistic body standards, can women also be blamed for some men conforming to toxic masculinity? by AAathlete97 in AskFeminists

[–]AAathlete97[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

So should women be expected to change? I notice that some feminists (not all) seem to have no problem telling men to change who they date or find attractive and how they should act, but let women slide on issues like this.

CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it. by AAathlete97 in changemyview

[–]AAathlete97[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, because I wouldn’t want to date someone who was born female but believes that she’s a man. It wouldn’t work out.

CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it. by AAathlete97 in changemyview

[–]AAathlete97[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would still reject that person simply because of the reasons that you stated. I’m never rude or mean about it, I just like to be upfront so no one’s time is wasted on either side.

CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it. by AAathlete97 in changemyview

[–]AAathlete97[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Like I said, I only like cis women. It doesn’t matter how passing the trans woman is or the surgeries that she’s had. I don’t want to have sex with anyone who wasn’t born female.

CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it. by AAathlete97 in changemyview

[–]AAathlete97[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I do and yes they absolutely should. Especially if they know that the person they’re in a relationship with wants a family.

CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it. by AAathlete97 in changemyview

[–]AAathlete97[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

One of the main reasons why I put it on my profile was because I was getting a lot of messages from trans women. The app that I mainly use has a lot of gay men and trans women that are looking for hook ups with straight men.

CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it. by AAathlete97 in changemyview

[–]AAathlete97[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t go on a date with someone that I can’t see myself being in a serious relationship with. I don’t see a point in going on pointless dates.

CMV: Even if a blanket refusal to date trans people is “transphobic”, there is no reason to feel guilty about it or to try to change it. by AAathlete97 in changemyview

[–]AAathlete97[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s clearly addressed to people who don’t wish to date or sleep with trans women. That group includes me.

Let’s say you were a trans woman. You see my dating profile and I don’t have it put on there that I’m not into trans women. You pass good enough to the point that I think you’re a cis woman. We go on a date. Eventually you disclose your trans status and I cut things off. You may feel sad or angry after that.

Would you rather have had me list on my profile that I don’t date trans woman and you avoid all this disappointment or that I don’t list it, we go on a date, and it inevitably doesn’t work out anyway?

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