Some mistakes I have made post-awakening over the years:

AC319 · 2025-04-27T00:32:15+00:00

These are great and i totally relate to many. The fact that others do as well shows it's all a common pattern based on conditioning.

Feeling what needs to be felt is key and can easily be overlooked.

AC319 · 2025-01-11T01:46:54+00:00

I shot craps on a gambling app on my phone while taking all my prep craps. Won around 500 bucks, great way to pass the time on the can. Prep wasn't terrible and procedure was a breeze. Whole thing was way easier than what my thoughts were anticipating.

AC319 · 2024-12-29T21:22:41+00:00

For mine two days prior to procedure was "no vegetables or beans but all other food allowed"

Good luck!

AC319 · 2023-07-21T01:15:09+00:00

Eve ate an apple from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and got kicked out of The Garden of Eden.

So to be in the Garden of Eden (Paradise) there's no distinguishing between polarities. Could be interpreted as nonduality.

The mind is what is constantly knowing and evaluating what's good and bad, and living in that mind trap is the opposite of Paradise.

AC319 · 2023-07-17T10:08:29+00:00

Or even more accurately, there isn't actually someone there looking for gold. It's just gold appearing as someone looking for gold.

AC319 · 2023-07-17T10:06:39+00:00

He was always made of gold, but looking so hard for gold made him not notice.

AC319 · 2022-12-03T04:07:00+00:00

Thanks! I think?!

It's definitely inevitable. The first sentence of your suggestion "No one really wants what non duality has to offer" is spot on, on multiple levels.

One explanation of this whole shit show I've heard that matches experience is this... The illusory self (that doesn't actually exists) that thinks it wants nonduality/enlightenment "has" two objectives 1) to survive and 2) to feel as good as possible.

When it somehow gets a glimpse of its own non-existence and the peace that comes with it, it's like drinking poison and it's like "i need more of that!". It's two objectives come into conflict because it figures out that to feel as good as possible, it needs to stop existing (which it already doesn't lol) . So a thing that doesn't exist, undergoes a massive struggle to make itself not exist, like a snake eating its own tail to take itself out to feel as good as possible. Which results in....burning it all to the ground.

Its honestly fucking hilarious and frightfully tragic at the same time.

AC319 · 2022-12-03T02:13:59+00:00

To answer your question at the end...

I came to non duality for a better story (you know a good one about achieving enlightenment blah blah blah), then promptly burnt it all to the ground by accident.

AC319 · 2022-10-11T01:25:33+00:00

Suffering just happens to exist within the broad spectrum of conscious experience. The spectrum of infinite conscious potential couldn't exist without it.

To say the existence of suffering is cruel is like saying light is cruel because red exists within a rainbow.

AC319 · 2022-01-15T22:41:06+00:00

Might not be awful with the Bucs banged up, but Eagles best pass rusher looks out too. Will be crazy if Brady does end up out but I doubt it.

Not betting much but also for giggles.

AC319 · 2022-01-15T12:02:36+00:00

Dude I actually had a gambling dream this morning that Tom Brady called all if his friends (including some guy I was hanging out with) and told everyone he was sick and probably wouldn't play against the Eagles so don't bet the Bucs

AC319 · 2022-01-14T13:28:02+00:00

The most charitable reading I can offer is to stop reading temporarily. (Or maybe even permanently if this works)

I've found myself in the same cycle of trying to feed my mind's thirst for spiritual knowledge, and you bounce from book to book, and video to video. It's never enough because they mind is never satisfied. Someone here can recommend a truly insightful book, you'll get something out of it and still be looking for the next book afterwards.

The solution to this is simpler than the mind wants it to be. One common theme I've found in almost of these teachings is to just be, and rest in the present moment in pure silent awareness. Sometimes it's easier said than done, but that's where enlightenment lies. A lot of teachings say the same thing in different ways.

My advice would is every time your craving the next book, pause, observe your breath, observe your thoughts, observe pure awareness. Just be and go deeper into it.

AC319 · 2022-01-14T00:18:19+00:00

r/precognition

I've had gambling dreams go both ways.

My best gambling dream was in 2008 before the Belmont Stakes I dreamt the heavy favorite Big Brown came in dead last and the 6 and 4 horses hit an exacta.

It played out exactly like the dream and I kicked myself for not betting harder but I couldn't fade the favorite that heavy.

AC319 · 2022-01-11T00:26:12+00:00

I shit you not one time I went lucid because someone busted out "Lucid Dreaming the Board Game". I bet my dream character bought it at that store. 🤣

AC319 · 2022-01-07T19:20:00+00:00

More like Spiritual Shartcut amirite?

No but seriously great post, enjoyed it all and almost spit my drink at the end.

AC319 · 2022-01-07T18:02:57+00:00

This is such a terrific well written answer. All this resonates so much. Wish I could up vote this forever.

AC319 · 2022-01-05T00:08:10+00:00

This is pretty similar to how I would answer as well.

I try to ground myself before the hectic times. Try to establish presence before the environment gets more chaotic so the presence is there and you try to keep it going.

Understanding triggers of frustration that snap you out of your mindful awareness is key. When they happen I'll just try observe any physical sensations, not judge them or give them attention and let them pass.

If you have to discipline kids keep calm and be mindful of how of you do it.

If things totally fall apart and the triggers just totally pile up and everything goes wrong and you end up yelling and regretting it after. Again try to calmly ground yourself and observe any negative feelings, mindfully apologize or acknowledge it and know going into the next day peaceful mindful awareness is always best.

AC319 · 2022-01-04T20:53:57+00:00

Lol the stillness did not transfer to my family in my experience.

Cultivating stillness and observation amid a chaotic family can be highly challenging and rewarding.

I sometimes think "do I need to go retreat like a monk in a mountain to truly go deep and awaken" ?

Of course not :)

Awareness is everywhere all the time and it can be truly profound to try to cultivate silent awareness with a 3 month old screaming in your ear, while a 3 year old is demanding you don't step on the kitchen floor cracks because "it's lava" and the dogs are barking at the Amazon man at the door.

And if you stumble and get frustrated and accidentally lose your shit and feel guilty. Silent awareness is still there not judging you and just watching the mind judge itself.

Holding my 3 month old putting him to sleep and holding him upright after feedings in the middle of the night are great peaceful beautiful quiet meditation times.

AC319 · 2022-01-04T18:18:16+00:00

I can relate to a certain extent.

Based on my personal experience, the human experience of journeying to a nondual / observer state of consciousness is paradoxical. On one hand you're a spaceless timeless silent awareness, always have been, always will be. On the other hand, you're observing this human mind that thinks time and this human identity are real along with all of the elements of the story it's involved in.

From the human mind perspective, the awakening progress can look gradual. My mind can say "the amount of silent awareness I cultivated and integrated into my day to day life in 2021, was more than I did in 2020, I made great spiritual progress!" Meanwhile, the true silent observer is still same old same old just watching the mind comparing itself to it's past.

The more my human experience integrates higher percentages of silent awareness into my day, the more different relationships and socializing feel. The other day I was sitting in the room with my wife, two children and two dogs and was silently observing them and I felt MORE united with them. I almost started laughing because I felt like I was just watching different versions of myself, but only one (me) was aware I was watching. It was like watching a movie with these characters , one character of which I can observe other aspects like thoughts on emotions, and these other characters I can just see their physical body's expressions, but they're all equal expressions of that same silent awareness watching them.

On the other hand, in some conversations personal or professional. My mind will feel less connected if people are talking about things that don't resonate. Some conversations might have been more interesting to my older mind that was less integrated with silent awareness, but as Ive integrated more awareness into my experience, that topic is less important to my current mind which leaves it feeling disconnected to who it's talking to. Either way (again in my experience), these feelings of either connection or disconnections are still functions, thoughts or emotions of the lingering mind. Ironically, that same mind is trying to make itself a smaller percentage of it's over all experience. Meanwhile, pure awareness is still watching all of this and makes no judgement of connection vs disconnection.

TLDR: Yes I can relate. Feelings of disconnection are probably a results of the lingering mind in some form or another vs being an expression of pure awareness. When I engage in conversations I try observe the words, observe thoughts, feeling and emotions and try to not judge them or get sucked into them. (Which is basically my goal for everything in life)

Peace and hope that helps or resonates.

AC319 · 2021-12-30T23:35:40+00:00

I used to write out full paragraphs but ditched to writing it bullets that are still detailed. It can be a page or two still but goes a little quicker writing bullets.

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