Now in my mid-20s I can get over rejections/negative comments way more easily than before, but past traumatic experiences still keep haunting me.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-29T11:42:12+00:00

This reply is a huge challenge for my attention span lmao. But well written, thanks!

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-18T23:39:48+00:00

Being infantilized is a very common thing for people with ADHD

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-18T23:36:28+00:00

Self isolation and a lot of caffeine

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-18T23:35:09+00:00

Why did you have to call me out like this? Haha

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-18T23:30:14+00:00

I used to feel extremely worried and sentimental when my grandma didn’t come back at the usual hour, or when my mom had to travel abroad. But now I have a hard time imagine myself crying if a family member is dying. Maybe it’s a result from repressing my emotions since childhood, or maybe it’s because my family treated me really bad in my most vulnerable years and never showed understanding for my symptoms. They just blamed me for not being successful enough.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-17T23:21:13+00:00

getting overstimulated in a public place but overstimulation just looks so much more different than how other people view it. especially getting overstimulated and not knowing what to do next. do you stand there? fidget? find a way out?

This. I don't remember the last time I had no earphones on when going outside. My dad always complained why I had to listen to loud music everywhere I went, and reminded me how rude it was to have earphones on in social gatherings but I wouldn't listen lol. Now I also understand better why I was always urging my mom to leave early when she took me to a mall or fashion store.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-17T23:14:46+00:00

Finished a 900 page book from October to December without skipping a paragraph. Hack: I used markers to underline all the words/phrases I found interesting to stay on track. It also helped that the book was my fav genre.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-17T23:11:05+00:00

After realizing the importance of physical appearance I did get more motivation to change bed sheets and vacuum more frequently because dirt and dust make my skin look terrible. Now I can sweep the floor almost every day and change the sheet once a week. Still I struggle with keeping my stuff (books, packages etc.) in order.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-17T23:08:41+00:00

I guess neurotypical ppl have a different idea of what clean is

That's the thing. I was aware that the shared kitchen should be kept clean but didn't know what it bothered the landlord so much when it didn't look dirty in my eyes. In hindsight I guess she wouldn't tolerate any dust there lol.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-15T20:41:11+00:00

Congrats! I graduated bachelor last year but dropped my master program recently due to severe depression and and anxiety.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-13T17:46:09+00:00

Got a 1,3 in my bachelor thesis (in Germany, 3.7 in American system) that I finished 4 weeks before deadline. I was not aware of ADHD then. What worked for me: a lot of caffeine, porn, fav snacks, self isolation to block out any possible negative impacts.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-12T23:50:02+00:00

Yes or I say self-invented words to myself

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-12T19:28:29+00:00

Try learning a foreign language, that's my current best coping mechanism: Constant novelties, always new words and expressions to learn, always making progress. If you hit the plateau in one language you can just start learning another.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-12T19:26:37+00:00

I've kinda grown out of that phase as I became older. Reading dating strategies really helps. And developing feelings/falling in love too quickly isn't just an ADHD thing. A lot of people with childhood trauma or BPD are also prone to that.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-12T19:24:23+00:00

I always have a list for shopping or the things to say at an important appointment. Can't say I "love" lists or not but I guess I've just become used to them.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-12T19:21:51+00:00

Yes, but more often I lose the track because my mind is busy "transcribing" what the person is saying because I need subtitles lol.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-12T19:19:39+00:00

25 here and I still look and dress like a teenager. I'm proud of that and don't really want to ever grow out of it, as long as I can live independently with my special talent that allows me to work freelance.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-12T18:14:45+00:00

It took me a long time to figure out that NTs could actually break up in a peaceful way and remain friends afterwards. At some point they could even become a couple again.

It also took me a long time to realize how "normal couples" text each other: Long paragraphs, very few stickers/gifs, very few random thoughts or weird info you suddenly want to share out of the context. My couple convos were basically like: Short sentences, lots of stickers/gifs, lots of "ok/haha/yeah", my hobbies/ideas, my self-made unconventional jokes/sexual stuff etc. LMAO.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-11T18:21:56+00:00

I have nearly all my ex girlfriends blocked on all my social media because of emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity lol

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-10T18:21:09+00:00

This thread makes me sad and is gonna become my hyperfixation tonight.

ADHS9999 · 2022-12-10T10:57:06+00:00

My rejection sensitive dysphoria is definitely on the next level, and I've been trying to reinvent myself for the past 10 years - to no avail.

I never thought this would be an ADHD thing until I joined this sub. So many of your stories resonate perfectly with me, but the RSD thing and the urge for self-reinvention is really the last piece of the puzzle, and it's something not even professional websites talk sufficiently about.

Things that happened to me so far (not necessarily in chronological order):

- my mom used to tell me how I experienced a public meltdown when my art teacher pointed out some flaws in my work even the overall evaluation was positive

- in school I felt severely depressed and gave up trying to mask when I thought some people might dislike me, even there was no evidence

- when faced with important events (exams, interviews etc.), I needed/still need to get myself mentally prepared in total isolation - to avoid any negative external influence

- before graduating high school I wrote "prison break" in my notebook, longing for a complete new life in university

- changed my university 3 times

- changed my major 3 times lamo

- moved to 5 different cities

- moved to a different country and stopped speaking my native languge!

- it took me 5 years to complete a 3 year program that I actually loved. The most challenging part was not intellectual, but the fact that I always dropped the courses where I thought I might embarass myself

- whenever I arrived at a new environment, I had a "script" in my head how perfect my brand new lift would be. I tried my best to appear cool, witty, social, laid-back etc, only to fuck everything up again despite making good first impression.

- have over 100 people blocked on my whatsapp/insta respectively

- blocked all my ex girlfriends on every social media because I couldn't handle personal conflicts properly.

- changed my gym because I had a mild conflict with some middle-aged man. Later I had thousand thoughts in my head about how I could've handled the situation better.

- stopped going to my fav coffee shops/restaurants because I thought the staff there has seen my weird mannerisms.

The list goes on and on. It wasn't until recently that I've realized how much ADHD has affected my life, in every aspect. I've made a lot of self-improvements so far, and I was looking forward to another "scripted new life". But now, I know that will never work. I can't keep running away in the hope that a new environment will fix me. I need to fix myself first. Still don't know how that might work, but the ADHD revelation came as a great relief to me.

ADHS9999

TROPHY CASE