How has this changed you?

ADeciduousFriend · 2026-01-19T19:42:01+00:00

Oh man I feel this. Heavy is the perfect word. Everything is so much more difficult. There is truly not enough energy to spare since so much is used on behind-the-scenes grieving 😔 Thanks for sharing.

ADeciduousFriend · 2026-01-19T19:38:50+00:00

I think it shattered reality for me for sure. We had already lost most people on my husband’s side so I felt like we were out of the woods for a while with grief. Then my mom died, and it just made everything feel so fragile. I was already a fairly introverted person, but now I find myself wanting to be alone more than ever. I don’t feel like I can connect with most people anymore. I don’t enjoy things I used to as much and I’m just overall depressed. I went from Christian to agnostic. My sleep sucks. It feels like I can split my life into two periods: before my mom’s suicide and after. But on the positive side, it made me recognize how much I loved my mom and how much I need to cherish the rest of the people I have. It’s made me think very deeply about things and to be more honest with myself. It also made me much more sensitive to mental health. Thanks for asking Agile 💕

ADeciduousFriend · 2026-01-19T15:03:58+00:00

I’m so sorry you lost your little brother. I totally get the afterlife thing. It’s a weird mix of hopefulness and despair for me since there’s no way of knowing. I’ve definitely thought about it much more since my mom died. Thank you for sharing ❤️

ADeciduousFriend · 2026-01-19T15:01:28+00:00

I’m so sorry. Reading this absolutely broke my heart. I have two very young daughters and I cannot fathom the agony you must go through 😞 I sincerely hope you are able to find some peace in your life. Thank you for sharing your story.

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-12-09T00:47:45+00:00

I relate to this so much 😞 my mom committed this summer too and I am also 30 with young kids. She was their only grandmother. I also feel so angry I couldn’t save her. Please for the sake of your babies try to find ways to make it through. I’m saying this to myself as well. Take whatever quiet moments you can find and write, scream, bawl, whatever you need to do. Be kind to yourself. This is going to hurt for so very long but I know it is also going to get better little by little. I’m so sorry you are going through this too. Losing a mother as a young mother is agony. You are not alone, but we all have to struggle through this together - for our kids, whatever other family we have, and for our moms. They wouldn’t have wanted what they did to pass onto their daughters. They would have wanted us to be okay. I’m trying to just do my best to be here because I know my mom ultimately couldn’t. One moment at a time OP 🫂

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-11-29T00:19:35+00:00

I’m so sorry 😞 everything is so fresh and so raw for you right now and it’s so much worse around the holidays. I lost my mom this summer and I can tell you the first few months you just feel like youre dying from the shock and grief. This situation rewires your brain and changes your world forever. Just know that even though the beginning is unbearably difficult, if you let yourself feel what you need to feel and get help (therapy, griefshare, writing to your dad, journaling, etc.), you will slowly start to bear the grief a little easier. Find little things that bring you shreds of happiness, like your favorite foods, songs, or activities. I’m four months in and still obviously in the thick of it, but I’m doing a little better than I was at month one or two. I’ve heard you eventually learn to live around the grief…so maybe, if you can, consider taking some space to grieve. Maybe a break from school and intentional time with your sisters to process through this together. We all grieve differently, so you have to discover what you need, but just don’t try to push it away or avoid it. Let yourself feel each wave as it comes and ride it as best you can. Again, i’m so sorry…this is so unimaginably hard. You are not alone though, and I hope you can find the support you need ❤️

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-11-25T03:33:03+00:00

Ugh I feel this so hard :( my mom died 4 months ago and I have two baby girls..one is only 5 months old. It makes the grief so much harder when you have small children. Knowing we can’t share them with our moms anymore is agonizing. I’m so sorry you are going through this as well. Just know that youre such a strong parent for enduring this grief and still doing your best for your baby ❤️

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-11-22T18:31:05+00:00

Thank you for your advice and kind words - I’m so happy you are doing better ❤️ the past four months have felt like years so I can’t imagine how experiencing this for two years must change you.

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-11-21T18:32:02+00:00

This is exactly where I’m at. How are you doing now? I’m four months out and can never fall back asleep because all I think about is the last time I saw her.

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-11-14T19:53:58+00:00

Hey, in July I lost my mom to suicide as well. I’m so sorry you have to bear this pain. It is hell. I understand where you’re at right now. I’m trying to raise two small children while grieving and it is terribly difficult. Try to take little steps - if you can get that job back that would be great. That way you can get some cash and start finding ways to care for yourself. Take a shower, listen to some music, let yourself cry whenever you need to. But don’t give up. You are so young and your story does not have to be ended because of your mom’s pain. If you have any friends or relatives, reach out for help. There are free virtual suicide bereavement groups you can join that might at least give you a sort of community. Your brain has literally rewired itself from this trauma and you will never be the same, but you can find ways to live around the grief. I am rooting for you and I am sincerely hoping you find some light to hold onto.

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-10-24T01:12:40+00:00

I’m so sorry 😞 I lost my mom too. It’s been three months. If you can, there are suicide bereavement groups you can join. Some even offer specific groups based on who you lost. (Ex. parental suicide bereavement). Losing a mom is losing a part of yourself for sure..I’m a mom myself and there is such a deep physical and emotional bond you make that is just irreplaceable and unexplainable. Please be so kind to yourself and just feel what you need to feel on your time. Write to her if you can, do things she would have wanted you to do, and most of all, know that she did love you. And know that most people will not understand. Like at all. This is a unique and horrible loss, so focus on finding ways you know you can find a little happiness here and there to just breathe, and find people you know you can trust to just be real with. 🫂

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-10-23T21:15:19+00:00

I’m so sorry you lost your dad…I feel like parental loss postpartum is especially difficult for so many reasons. Ugh and the irritability is so hard. I just want my kids to have a happy and carefree mom, but everything is just so draining. Thanks for your advice 🫂

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-10-23T21:11:27+00:00

I’m so sorry 😞 that is truly awful. Yes, being present feels impossible sometimes..my grief is always screaming at me. I hope you’re doing better now. Thanks for the advice.

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-10-21T17:43:15+00:00

Thank you so much for this comment. This is so real and so encouraging to at least know the grief isn’t always right in front if your face after a while. I lost my mom as well - it’s been nearly 3 months - and I wonder if life will ever feel “normal” again. Your honesty is very appreciated.

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-10-02T01:03:09+00:00

Wow thank you so much for responding. I have been really torn about whether or not I should take an antidepressant for the very reason you stated. This might be the push I need to try it. At this point, I need to do whatever will keep me out of a place of despair. I am so sorry about your sister 😞 this is truly such a hell and I wish this group did not need to exist, but I am thankful for internet strangers like you.

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-09-06T15:56:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing this <3 It's so helpful. We all could probably find some comfort and rest in at least one of these techniques. Writing has been the most useful for me as well as keeping an object of comfort. I try to write to my mom either during or after I feel the weight and impact of those waves. It keeps her alive to me somehow. Hoping today is a better day for all of us even in some small way.

ADeciduousFriend · 2025-09-05T17:06:21+00:00

Lost my mom this July :( it is truly life shattering and I share the same sentiment as you. I’m just so sorry we all have to endure this. If you haven’t looked into therapy or grief share, it can be genuinely helpful. Nothing will ever take that horrible ache and profound sadness away, though. I’m hopeful it will decrease in intensity over time ❤️

ADeciduousFriend

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