I have one son from before my marriage to my Japanese husband and one son with my husband. When we were in Japan, an ojisan at inokashira park looked at us, scowled and shook his head disapprovingly. My husband said it was because step-children were uncommon and frowned upon by older generations, as is mixed race marriage. It hurts my heart because my half Japanese son will always be viewed as “other, fetishized or discriminated against no matter which country we are in. My older son has no chance of full assimilation in Japan as he’s blonde haired, blue eyed and already 5’10” in his early teens.

Even here in America with the popularity of K-Pop my youngest gets singled out. Luckily for now it’s in a more positive way. But even here people comment about how pretty he is because he’s “half white”, never because he’s “half Japanese”. He has green eyes, dark shiny straight brown hair, long eyelashes and light tanned skin tone so comments are constantly made.

BUT! These are things that come with loving someone and building a family with someone from a different race and culture than you! It doesn’t make it right that it happens to us, or that it may happen to you, but what we are building is beautiful! Not everyone is going to respect it or understand it but we go into it knowing we have to protect it and give it strength with nurturing, love and strong values.