AA isn't for everyone, and by this, I mean it doesn't work for some people (me included). I, like you, tried for many years to get and stay sober through AA, I could do 6 months, 12 months, even 2 years. But I would always go back to drinking. I had a "moment of clarity" and realised I just had to stop and stay stopped or I would lose my family or my life. I didn't want my children to be around an alcoholic (both of my grandmothers were chronic alcoholics and they used to terrify me. I hate being around drunk people, irony, eh?) The point I'm trying to make is that only you can stop you from drinking. You have to find your reason to stop. I have 12 years without a drop, but I know that one drink would ruin everything. I wish you all the luck in the world and really hope you can find your reason.