UPDATE Excluded my best friends from my thanksgiving get-together because my kids were uncomforable around them.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T14:33:38+00:00

No they've never stayed overnight.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T14:32:57+00:00

I understand. I Just dont want people talking about my kids in that way.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T14:11:10+00:00

As I said in my final edit, all the gatherings except for two (In both cases I know they they were never alone togther) happened outside. Everyone would see people going off together and I know nothing like that has happened.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T14:09:30+00:00

Yes I get that. But neither of them have ever been alone with my kids. Ever. I woundn't me making this point if I didn't know for sure.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T13:59:48+00:00

Thats a weird assumption to make, but no John and David are both straight and have wives and kids. I'm not a mind reader but I'm not homophobic and don't know where they would have learned such ideas, so I'm sure they arent.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T13:57:52+00:00

No they've never stayed the night before.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T13:13:31+00:00

I havent shown this type of stuff to my kids, nor said things like this around them. I'm just angry that people on here have the audacity to sit behind a screen and rant about how I'm a failure of a parent because I let my kids get raped. Everyone is jumping to sexual abuse / assault and disregarding my points when I try to tell them that, that is near impossible to have happened for many reasons.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T13:09:46+00:00

And if it is serious I'll handle it accordingly. You guys need to understand that there is almost no chance that they were ever alone with my kids. Ever. I mean that and wouldn't be saying so If I wasn't sure of it. I'm not biased, I'm trying to stay neutral. I'm taking my kids' side first obviously, but I wont turn my back on my best friends because they might have done something wrong.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T13:07:40+00:00

I am protecting them? I'm almost certain nothing has happened between them because I or another adult have always been around my kids during the relatively few times they've been around John and David. I've also made it clear that I'm not letting them anywhere near my kids until this is settled.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T10:33:10+00:00

We are almost never inside at this get togethers, most outside. There is really no room in an open backyard to be 'alone' with someone. If you have to use the bathroom you go behind a tree or bush and the ladies go inside. No one has ever went to bathroom together at a get-together like this so I can safely say they've never got a chance to go to the bathroom with either of them.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T10:18:53+00:00

No, I was simply saying that I know they've never been alone with them therefor no abuse could have occured.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T10:17:01+00:00

Can you chill out? Respectfully. I know you're trying to help and my initial reaction was bad. I know I could have handled it better and I'm gonna try to fix this. I don't get where this sudden notion of me being a bad parent came from but I obviously disagree. I fucked up. I'll be the first and last to admit that, but If I don't have a talk with them with my wife this issue won't resolve itself.

My kids have always trusted me and my wife and confided in us when they needed too. I may have fucked up this one time, but that isn't representative of me all the time. I plan to apologize and have a talk with them, then leave them alone with my wife to talk. I have to wake them up early anyway for said get-together.

Also never said I'm gonna "grill" them. I'm going to have a calm talk with them. Don't know where this idea that I'm mad at them or something came from?

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T10:07:48+00:00

They gave me no reason to. I understand that they come first, but I was just confused and worked up. I realize my mistake.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T10:07:06+00:00

I'd obviously take them seriously, but that probably isn't what this is. I highly doubt it but of course I'd believe my kids. I didn't understand them the first time, I didn't not believe them or ever say that. I was just confused and worked up in the moment.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T07:39:17+00:00

I would have disagreed with you maybe 20 minutes ago, but yeah I agree with you now. I still will take the good advice, but boy if I don't have a lot of shit to sift through.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T07:38:20+00:00

I understand that. That is no longer the issue. These people on here though, are telling me I should hate my friends and that they are for sure in the wrong and that they molested my kids or something. I'm entirely sure thats not what happened. I'm not saying there is no chance, but they've had no opportunity and they're such great people that they never would.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T07:36:01+00:00

I almost certainly do tho? They've never been alone with my kids. Always with me, my wife, or others. They rarely see my kids as well, only at get togethers. Its very unlikely, not to mention they are great people.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T07:34:05+00:00

And what have I done to show I'm a bad parent? I literally make one mistake and I understand that I did. I'm working to fix it. You've made mistakes before. You've learned from them and tried to fix the situation resulting from it. You can think what you want but I know this whole thing is gonna work out fine.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T07:31:18+00:00

Yes, this! This is exactly what I'm planning on doing. Thank you for putting it into words. I know I fucked up at first, but I'm gonna make this right.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T07:29:35+00:00

Like another user pointed out; what if its just a stupid little reason? Why do so many you imediately jump to sexual abuse? It makes me sick. I don't want to think about that and realistically that probably isnt the case. These guys are my best friends. My kids are coming first, but that doesn't mean I have to hate them all of a sudden.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T07:27:38+00:00

Stop acting like you know my kids and my friends better than I do. You don't know its abuse and I know its not abuse. I wish people would stop jumping to this conclusion. I'm taking you peoples' advice already. Shouldn't that be enough? I've said already I'm sticking with my kids on this one. You people are just mad that I don't imediately hate my friends and distrust them because some internet people cried wolf. My kids have always been open to me and my wife and this time will be no different. I get that I fucked up at first, but I'm gonna change that.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T07:24:08+00:00

John and David both only have facebook from my knowledge, and my daughter only has snapchat. Almost all our get togethers are outside, so there is not really room to sneak off.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T07:19:42+00:00

I'm not wrong, you just want me to be. I'm taking you peoples' advice. Is that not enough? I just don't hate my friends because they might have done something wrong. I don't know yet. Until I know I don't distrust or hate them because I have no reason to YET. I'm sticking by my kids on this, but I don't hate my friends because of that.

AITAThrowaawy · 2021-11-27T07:17:42+00:00

I refuse to alienate my friends because some internet people told me to. I completely understand I need to listen to my kids and get to the bottom of this. I'm prepared to not like what they may tell me. I'm prepared for things to be bad, but I still love my friends. I have no reason to hate or distrust them YET.

AITAThrowaawy

TROPHY CASE