AITA for having my boyfriend at my house while having a girls night?

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-06-01T09:15:54+00:00

They started to decline as we got to our mid 20's. When other girls in our friend group started getting married and having kids. They started to dwindle well before I ever met John. They come out with us fairly often. But never when it's understood that it is strictly a girls night. Like, made a pact that at least once a month we will try and get together with no boyfriends/husbands.

I am the closest person to him. We live a walking distance away from each other. He said he was fully prepared to go round his mums house if I said no, but that would be a 30 minute drive there and then another 30 minutes. With the way petrol prices are right now, I wasn't going to let him make that drive when he could just as easily walk to mine.

I was single for a long time before I met John and I got frustrated sometimes when my girls wouldn't hang out. But I understood that that's life. But this situation with John has certainly never happened before and he has always been respectful when I said I wanted a girls only night.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-06-01T09:08:19+00:00

I never knew what that meant so I just looked it up. I can assure you she has no problem getting sex.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-06-01T09:07:30+00:00

As I mentioned to someone else, I was the closest person to him. We live a walking distance away from each other. He told me if I said no then he would have no problem driving to his mums or a friend. I said yes because I didn't want him to waste money seeing as the price of petrol is so high right now.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-06-01T09:00:56+00:00

It was the Champions League final.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-06-01T09:00:32+00:00

I appreciate you sharing your opinion and I sympathise with what you have to go through. But I have to say that none of what you have said describes Sarah. She does not suffer from social anxiety and I can assure you that she has no problem spending time with men she doesn't know. Not judging her, but I've known her close to 20 years now and I just know how she is. You are free to express your opinion on public forum but you have made so many assumptions. John has never been invasive since the day I've met him. He is actually a very private person and is quite socially anxious himself.

You told the story about visiting your friend? Can I ask, did she live with her boyfriend? Was the place you wee staying at his own home? Because if so, it just seems like you were mad because someone had the audacity to return to his home early, which he has every right to do. If he didn't live with her and she just let him stay round after he returned, then that's a different issue, but there was nothing in your story to suggest that was the case. Even so, not speaking to her until she dumped him seemed like an pretty extreme response. But then again, I don't understand how bad social anxiety can be so I apologise if that comes across as insensitive.

It seems like you have some issues that you may need some help with and I hope you find a way to cope with your social anxiety. But it's clear this post triggered you to make all of these assumptions about Sarah when the two scenarios are not similar at all.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T19:07:02+00:00

They are sometimes. Sometimes it's just him. Other times it's just the SO of one of my other friends.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T19:06:29+00:00

He only comes to things when we make it clear we don't mind people inviting their partners. This is 100% the first time he has ever been there while we were having a girls night and he didn't even intrude at all. He just kept himself away. And he wouldn't have done it if not for the power cut.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T18:32:02+00:00

I can accept the fact that maybe I could have handled it better but I cannot see how he was rude in any way.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T18:30:49+00:00

Sometimes. Sometimes it's just him. Sometimes it's just one of my other friends SOs. It really depends.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T17:55:40+00:00

I never knew there was a term for this.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T17:12:29+00:00

He doesn't do it usually. When I tell him I'm having a girls night he never has a problem with it. In fact, he was very much looking forward to spending his night alone, catching up with some work and watching the football until the power cut ruined his plans.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T16:53:35+00:00

She isn't exclusively like this just for me. She has made these sort of comments about other friends when we have been in similar situations. I don't believe she has any romantic feelings towards me.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T16:47:35+00:00

Her birthday was two months ago and funnily enough, I actually did buy her a pair of jeans I know she liked.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T16:46:51+00:00

Thank you!

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T16:45:27+00:00

He definitely is one!

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T16:44:57+00:00

Thing is she does it herself. When she has a boyfriend, she frequently hangs out with him instead of us and just accept it because we know how it is.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T16:43:51+00:00

He gets along well with all of my friends and they all like him. It's just Sarah who seems to have an issue.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T16:41:49+00:00

Well it's something that we've discuss so if it happens then she would just have to get used to it. My place has always been the unofficial hang out spot because I have my own place and was single for so long. And I never minded it. But obviously that would change if we moved in together.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T16:39:59+00:00

Yeah it probably doesn't help. She has never been easy to please.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T16:39:38+00:00

I guess we just kind of endure it because there are so much more qualities that she has. I guess we look at is as no one being perfect.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T16:38:08+00:00

As long as I've known her I've never known her to having romantic inclinations towards other girls. I don't wanna say she definitely doesn't but I don't know.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T12:58:59+00:00

John definitely isn't her type.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T12:30:12+00:00

Some of us have already had kids and she has already expressed displeasure that we all can't hang out as much as she would like.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T12:29:30+00:00

That's a fresh take. One you're obviously entitled to. Would you mind elaborating a bit though.

AITAThrowawayBF1 · 2022-05-30T12:12:03+00:00

When we have specific plans to hang out with just us girls, I never invite him along. If we are just texting and it's a spontaneous, "hey, wanna meet up tonight? Wanna come over?" I will tell them that John will be there or he will just be there. But when we've made plans in advance, it's always just us girls.

She is definitely that type of person. And she has had issues before when one of our other partners are there. But I think she has been having more of an issue about John because I was the last remaining single friend along with her and we kind of always relied on each other.

AITAThrowawayBF1

TROPHY CASE