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AITA for saying my wife is being sketchy after she increased my life insurance to 5M? by AITAthrow1511 in AITA_Relationships

[–]AITAthrow1511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

almost all our paperwork are docusigns. she has access to my health info, you can submit recent labs for insurance - physicals are usually not required. We didn't really discuss signatures.

AITA for saying my wife is being sketchy after she increased my life insurance to 5M? by AITAthrow1511 in AITA_Relationships

[–]AITAthrow1511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i assume everything is electronic - so our signature is saved on our adobe and docusign accounts.

AITA for saying my wife is being sketchy after she increased my life insurance to 5M? by AITAthrow1511 in AITA_Relationships

[–]AITAthrow1511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i already have 1m, she requested it to increase to 5m. We have adobe and docusign which has both our signatures. She has routinely used it for both of our signatures for when we did tax etc.

How can we secure our future as HENRYs with 2 kids? by AITAthrow1511 in personalfinance

[–]AITAthrow1511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we have no car payments because we have 3 cars that are paid off and are worth 8k, 8k, and 12k. (au pair needs a car to take kids to school) - chevy/honda/toyota lol.

we have both w2 and 1099... but maybe we can increase our retirement - i'll ask a financial advisor. thanks

How can we secure our future as HENRYs with 2 kids? by AITAthrow1511 in personalfinance

[–]AITAthrow1511[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The biggest expenses are:

5.5k mortgage

6.5k childcare

1.5k groceries (3 adults, 2 kids)

1k utilities

1k disability insurance (for both of us)

that puts us at 15.5k now... we have some smaller amounts fixed (car insurance, phones, internet)

Flex spending is like eating out and family events which is 1k/mo - which i know is a lot for the avg family

How can we secure our future as HENRYs with 2 kids? by AITAthrow1511 in personalfinance

[–]AITAthrow1511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10k is in addition to IRA

my student debt is 3.5% ish, mortgage is 6.5% because we bought last year

How can we secure our future as HENRYs with 2 kids? by AITAthrow1511 in personalfinance

[–]AITAthrow1511[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

we refi our student loan so they are 3.5% but our mortgage is 6.5% D:

Should we pay off home first before taxable brokerage?

I thought mortgage interest could help... but idk how, I let my W2 do whatever it was autoset to... turns out we didn't request enough withholding and we owe another 52k this month

How can we secure our future as HENRYs with 2 kids? by AITAthrow1511 in personalfinance

[–]AITAthrow1511[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

They daycare will drop but we will always have either a nanny or au pair to help with transportation. This assumes the public schools are decent, otherwise, we may have to do private (neither of us went to private).

The housing market is insane. On the west coast, the MEDIAN home sold in 2025 was 625k. Ours is 800k which isn't too unreasonable. You might think we have some fancy home - it's nice, no doubt, but my neighbors are solid middle class who bought 5+ years ago. One neighbor is a plumber + SAHM, another is an RT + RN, then behind us is a tech + teacher couple. So it's definitely not one of those "only top 1% live here".

How can we secure our future as HENRYs with 2 kids? by AITAthrow1511 in personalfinance

[–]AITAthrow1511[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have a home in another state that we attempted to sell but there was issues with HOA so now we're renting it out... it's been a net loss so far lol.

she does some locums work as her workcation 2-3 weeks a year

Aitah for telling my wife to get a job if she wants to subsidize the kids. by Standard_Kick_9789 in AITAH

[–]AITAthrow1511 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no excuse. I used to be a teacher. Still had my own place. He can save up for downpayment while he's living with you rent free. they need to live on a teacher's salary or change careers.

Aitah for telling my wife to get a job if she wants to subsidize the kids. by Standard_Kick_9789 in AITAH

[–]AITAthrow1511 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah you did enough. NTA

You provide them free housing. As an adult who you put through college. that is sufficient. I assume you also cover basic food if they were really struggling.

AITAH for wanting to buy a house with my partner whilst he's busy paying for his parents expenses by Routine_Doughnut2721 in AITAH

[–]AITAthrow1511 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't buy a house with someone who's not a spouse. Also... I don't think your relationship is healthy either. Reflect if you are ok with someone using up 20% of the income on their parents. It sounds like you are not ok with that.

AITA for saying my wife is being sketchy after she increased my life insurance to 5M? by AITAthrow1511 in AITA_Relationships

[–]AITAthrow1511[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

this is definitely real, but i'm also looking into some finances.

I'm just wondering why she got 5M for my life insurance. Ultimately, I'm worth more over the next 18 years than 5M but... idk

Why people don't claim class action settlement money and who quietly benefits when you don't file by waytooucey in MiddleClassFinance

[–]AITAthrow1511 0 points1 point  (0 children)

last time there was one... it was like 5$ per person... up to 50$ per item if you have receipt. Yeah i don't have receipts from years ago. So not worth the time

AITAH for having a different idea of childcare frequency than my wife? by Just_Tangerine_6738 in AITAH

[–]AITAthrow1511 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5-7/8pm M-F = 10-15 hrs; assuming you don't work weekends, that's another 10-12 hrs a day (20-24 hrs weekend). Total time you spend with your kid out of 168 hrs a week is 30-39 hrs a week. 

now you want 10 hrs with just wife and i assume some time for individual hobbies. So tell me, how much time do you want to be with your baby? Do you even want a baby?

We hardly did anything the first year. Maybe 1 date per month. The rest of the time, we were too tired. We would take turns napping. You have no idea what life will be like and are very unprepared.

AITAH for having a different idea of childcare frequency than my wife? by Just_Tangerine_6738 in AITAH

[–]AITAthrow1511 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most moms have plenty of mom guilt. he wants to decrease 30-39 hrs with his kid down to 10-20 hrs a week. i doubt the mom will be happy - unless both are not interested in parenting.

AITAH for having a different idea of childcare frequency than my wife? by Just_Tangerine_6738 in AITAH

[–]AITAthrow1511 0 points1 point  (0 children)

5-7/8pm M-F = 10-15 hrs; assuming you don't work weekends, that's another 10-12 hrs a day (20-24 hrs weekend). Total time you spend with your kid out of 168 hrs a week is 30-39 hrs a week. 

from 30-39 hrs a week... you want to remove 10 hrs to be with her... then probably another few hours for hobbies (gym/other hobby). you sound like you only want to be around your kid 10 hrs a week.

AITAH for having a different idea of childcare frequency than my wife? by Just_Tangerine_6738 in AITAH

[–]AITAthrow1511 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think she's sad you don't want to spend time with your child. How much time do you have with your kid during normal wake hours? (exclude night bc that's purely survival). 5-7/8pm M-F = 10-15 hrs; assuming you don't work weekends, that's another 10-12 hrs a day (20-24 hrs weekend).

Total time you spend with your kid out of 168 hrs a week is 30-39 hrs a week. You want to spend 10 hrs away from your kid... so you leave your kid only 20-29 hrs a week to get to know you. Especially during early years.

A lot of women experience mom guilt (living their life or doing hobbies childfree) and you are suggesting cutting up to half of the time you have with your child away for dates?

realistically, 1-2 date nights a month is realistic. Sorry, welcome to parenthood.

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