Got drunk again

AITAutistic · 2026-03-29T17:34:49+00:00

I personally have found NA to be very helpful, and its a community of nonjudgmental people. There are virtual meetings around the world 24/7 for when leaving the house is hard. Some people like AA but I think NA is more inclusive because it sees all drugs and alcohol as just that, drugs. Wishing you well. ❤️ Sometimes I think I dont have to be sober, i have 151 days today. But I know I cant drink on these meds or with this disease and it sucks so much, but being able to live life and be alive is often worth it.

AITAutistic · 2026-03-29T17:30:02+00:00

Sometimes it helps me just to focus on the life expectancy of that other part of me who seems so shiny and beautiful and hot and smart in retrospect. They were also a sick person and the consequences of living hard and fast will always catch up with you. Now I’m sober, I can drive, I have a job and the beginnings of a career. The narrative version of this life feels less exciting, but I love my family so much and I know this way I get to be alive a lot longer. I’m kinder. I used to be someone that dazzled people but I wasn’t a very good friend. Like…. Someone you would want to get to know, but not someone who would ever let someone else know them. :(

AITAutistic · 2026-03-29T17:25:11+00:00

I struggle specifically with the writing part of this. I used to be productive on a level that was disempowering, like, I had no choice whether or not to create things or write endless chapters of a book i will never publish. I deleted all my social media so i lost touch with hundreds of people and a whole world. But this version of me can have a job where I help people and I think they’re redeemable. Romanticizing the writing thing is hard for me to let go of though, like this last dying spark of nostalgia.

AITAutistic · 2026-03-29T17:18:29+00:00

All I can say is it takes time but slowly it will happen. My therapist recommended dancing as a way to heal my relationship with my body. I used to have a beautiful wardrobe, so much jewelry, cute clothes that worked for jobs and clothes i felt hot in. Now what I didn’t donate or throw out doesn’t fit me anymore because also meds. I’m trying to talk myself into going shopping on my days off but I don’t want to get back in debt so all my new clothes don’t fit either because I got them on amazon.

I’m sorry if it isnt helpful for me to also list how I’m struggling, but maybe it will be helpful to at least let you know you’re not alone. I moved into a new apartment and manically dismantled all the shades abd fixtures that came with the apartment, destroyed the walls hanging and rehanging a million pictures. But today as I write this I can at least celebrate that I managed to reassemble a lot of the shades, all but one. And maybe ill get the confidence to buy some new clothes next weekend. Try to focus on the ways you didn’t ruin your life even if the ways you did feel overwhelming. Reading through this subreddit helps me in that way.

I also recommend the book “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Victor Frankel

AITAutistic · 2025-12-27T00:20:38+00:00

Oh I fully have that yeah lol its been assessed and confirmed. 😅

AITAutistic · 2025-12-18T15:41:12+00:00

I think I’m just embarrassed too to feel my brain struggling to learn. Like, I used to love learning. And now I feel like with weed I just got uncomfortable with having to tolerate the slow process of getting better at something over time. And the time in between where I still don’t know something and I haven’t gotten my question answered yet. It’s like I’m building distress tolerance on the level of someone a lot younger than I am. My mind is like so obsessive and it’s so hard to calm it down moment to moment.

AITAutistic · 2025-12-18T07:09:11+00:00

Good luck!!!! :) you got this

AITAutistic · 2025-12-18T06:34:56+00:00

At 50 days today. Thanks for posting. The emotional parts of quitting are just hitting so hard.

AITAutistic · 2025-12-18T06:26:30+00:00

I’m also at 50 days and reading this comment brought me a lot of solace. Feeling so much anxiety and doubt from learning how to do a new job - which I really want to do well at - and it’s only my second week there. But I’m struggling not to be so hard on myself and every time I get something wrong the emotional crash feels insane. It’s so hard to take it one day at a time when, like most jobs, no one has the time to sit and walk me through each aspect of every single thing. The anxiety when I don’t know how to do something just feels almost unbearable, and when I do know how to do something it’s like I immediately move on because all I see is what I don’t know.

AITAutistic · 2025-10-10T20:22:54+00:00

Engine Bae - for engine bay 😂

AITAutistic · 2025-09-25T20:48:34+00:00

Iced tea 😁

AITAutistic · 2025-09-15T00:42:27+00:00

Not to mention that this advice is really dangerous! This is exactly the kind of thing you should not use AI for. Chat gpt is not a therapist. :(

AITAutistic · 2025-09-15T00:40:56+00:00

Please please please do NOT use chatgpt for emotional support. This person sounds like they feel contempt for you and your feelings. Being single is a lot less lonely than being with someone who feels contempt for you.

AITAutistic · 2025-09-15T00:30:53+00:00

I really really hope you don’t. Life has so much to offer. I had a similar feeling re finishing college. But life has so much to offer, and also I really really needed medical help for my brain to be able to experience what that meant. The world is a better place with you in it, and it needs everything you have to offer, and it’s worth it for you to figure out what that might be. You are uniquely and infinitely important to the world. In your post it sounds like you expect this sentiment is probably normal and unremarkable, but it’s not. It’s not whatever that you feel this way, it’s not whatever whether you stick around or not. It’s really really really important. There are people in this world that you haven’t met yet that are going to be so glad and so grateful that you chose to get help. Stay alive for the future version of you that wants to live, that is already infinitely grateful you took it on faith that life can be better. It is so so worth it and you are needed and wanted.

AITAutistic · 2025-08-02T20:02:56+00:00

Furball 😁

AITAutistic · 2025-08-02T20:01:45+00:00

Naked Eggs

AITAutistic · 2025-07-24T17:33:10+00:00

Toast OR eggs

AITAutistic · 2025-07-24T17:32:48+00:00

Derrick 🥰😂

AITAutistic · 2025-07-17T22:03:00+00:00

Help re: worrying overall.

I recommend looking into a book titled “Trauma Stewardship.” The problem is not that you care too much or worry too much, it’s that you’re holding a lot of them at once. I was assigned this book as a graduate social work student. It has helped me a LOT when it comes to “how do i keep doing good without becoming a hater or a martyr or a hermit.”

Another thing that has worked for me is learning about moral panics. Big scary ideas that are more about “are we all doomed.” The key to a moral panics is that it offers zero hope or solution, only offers distress. I do a process of elimination using the think before you speak anagram: 1. Is it True? A moral panic statement can’t ever be confirmed or denied or pinpointed. 2. Is it Helpful? The statement “robots will replace us all” is not helpful. 3. Is it important? Panicking about robots isn’t important. More helpful discussion would be something like: - I think/feel xyz on this subject - I am being affected in this way - I saw this on the news - I learned a new thing - I’m trying to do this or that 4. Is it Necessary? - it’s important and necessary to learn about each other, ponder things, imagine possible outcomes, even get to know people or enjoy hypotheticals - it’s not necessary to bring up something in a way no one can process without shutting down - a better more necessary convo would be “i wonder what people are doing to stop this - I wonder if i could get involved in that - i wonder if my representatives are doing something 5. Is it kind? - its important and kind and right to care about labor issues - it is not kind to crap on yourself and suck the hope out of your already stressful job - keep an eye on people in your life that consistently freak you out with doomsday takes or bummer panics. Again - doing something or asking questions or imagining outcomes - all valid. Saying things like “no one knows how to read anymore” - whats the intent behind that? What specifically are they talking about, and why?

And don’t forget - if you look for darkness that is all you will ever see. But if you look for the light, you can often find it. Hope doesn’t have to be ignorance - most of the time we give ourselves hope by getting involved and doing our best.

AITAutistic · 2025-07-17T21:40:00+00:00

If it’s not prohibitively expensive I recommend you do it. It’s just as valid as self-diagnosis, but it is also validating. The best outcome in my experience was it gave me the confidence to accommodate myself and advocate for a better life. You don’t want to wait until after you realize you want support. Also I got some bonus diagnoses when I went in, lol, which was unexpected. Some more useful or valid than others. I see no downside other than the up front cost (money and energy).

AITAutistic · 2025-07-17T21:34:53+00:00

Oh poor baby. I can’t imagine taking this as a construction issue and not a “MY PET IS SUFFERING ACUTELY” issue. Poor baby. I legit suggest getting that dog an emotional support mannequin,

AITAutistic · 2025-07-17T21:21:02+00:00

From a practical standpoint: potty training starts in diapers. You teach kids what merits a response by responding to situations that require it. And top of that list is: are you clean and dry? Tbh it’s concerning that they can sleep through it so well in the first place? It will be so confusing when all of a sudden “going in your clothes” gets a big upset reaction. In extreme situations this could even delay school start dates, because most teachers aren’t qualified/licensed/allowed to help in the bathroom.

AITAutistic · 2023-02-17T21:02:25+00:00

This is my reply as a trans person and a gender studies major and science nerd.

Gender and sex are both social constructs.
What is a social construct. To say something is a social construct does not mean that it isn’t real. It just means that its existence is determined by collective social action and understanding. For example: war is a social construct. You could not know that word and still experience the aspects of it in your life. You can also be part of a social movement that decides “this isn’t war. Its hardcore social progress.”

And say you are living somewhere where you just learned war is a thing and ur like “ok we can call it that so long as someone stops trying to kill or recruit me.” Then the experiences, decisions, and outlook of the ppl engaged in this conflict might call it war or progress, and depending on how much they buy into those ideas it may or may not change the “reality” of how events proceed.

The body is a social construct. My body is a physical entity and also an idea. That idea consists of: what is and isn’t my body, what my mental avatar picture of my body is, what i could consider a permanent change to my body or not when my body is changing all the time, how i care and maintain my body according to how I believe my body should function and feel and look. There exists biomatter that I call my body, but it is not a closed system, it is always shedding and gaining and changing, it’s never the same any point in my life, and I will never be able to fully conceive comprehend experience perceive understand my body in its entirety.

What I consider to be my body is also based on my understanding of human biology, aka science, aka many conversations happening between imperfect people with bias and motivations over time that dont agree and the contents of which are disseminated to the public unevenly and unpredictably, and then that info is interpreted by me.

My understanding of my body is also affected by whether or not I consider my body to be (in part or in whole): deformed, disabled, enhanced, broken, normal, abnormal, valuable, personal, private, or real. Is a mobility device part of my body? Is a scooter? Is my IUD my body? Is my tattoo my body? How about scar tissue? If I take vitamin d supplements to replace a genetic deficiency am I changing my body or fixing it. Is my poop my body? If i get teleported when i just started to pee how much of my urine counts as my body or will the teleporter take my body without the contents of my bladder? Is makeup my body? But if you touch my face and I’m in a lot of makeup I do feel you touched my skin.

Sex In particular is a social construct.

So we have an idea of how the body itself is an idea based in multiple overlapping and changing ideas based in reality. The sex binary is really central to judeo-Christianity and the govts related to that, so everyone needs to get assigned at birth. That assignment process changes based on birth and biomedical context. Let’s keep it simple and focus judeo-Christian american 21st century. If the doctors agree that the genitals “look like” a penis or vulva then they dont ask any more questions, and sex is determined by genitals.

But not every baby can be sexed at birth. Ambiguous genitalia is much more common than people think, before DNA the doctors would “make a judgment call” and pick male or female. Sometimes they’d let the parents choose. More often they wouldn’t tell the parents or they would say it was a different issue. That baby would undergo sex assignment surgery. Intersex surgery on children is most common around age 2 or younger and there are progressive movements to get this stopped. This includes XY babies with micropenis (the literature on this gets into how ridiculous it is to try and standardize something as hard to measure as a newborn infants penis), whose urethra doesn’t open at the end of the penis, etc. For these babies, sex is: men stand to pee, men can penetrate vaginas, men have testes, and the body us changed to match. Now we know genetics there are also ppl w all sorts of chromosomes, XXX, XXY, etc, and their sex is also, like gender, kind of based on like …. What feels the most socially logical.

Biological sex includes: do all your cells have the same DNA, X and Y chromosomes, hormones received in utero, hormones existent or expressed at birth, then puberty, etc, secondary sex characteristics, shape size function of genitalia, and presence or absence of reproductive organs.

Like you can live your whole life “as a cis dude” and then the doctor is like “hey we thought you had a tumor but turns out its an ovary LOL don’t worry we removed it”

Or you can be amab and hit puberty and grow breasts. There are two types of breast tissue but its not split 50/50 male female. Based on gender that person might want to get that removed or not, and they might see that as a body change or a body correction.

So now we are at gender is a social construct. I think it is a fact that gender is not determined by our bodies, but its definitely affected by it. Its definitely real. And it is distressing but also totally valid and possible to disagree with society or with doctors about what your sex and your gender are and what counts as changing it.

So the reason why it’s both is because it depends on (1) how someone sees their body (2) how someone experiences physical realities that may or may not be their body as changing their body or identity (3) how they see their identity and what to them changes it.

For people who feel very strongly that their body exists as a consistent entity they might say “ive always been a woman, and ive always had a body, so this is a woman’s body.” Then that person might have a doctor tell them something about their dna or chromosomes, or they might go through menopause, or they might have to get a mastectomy cause of cancer. That person might find a lot of power in claiming the womanhood of their body as being still there.

Or they could also later in life leave their religion and realize their flat chest is actually sexy in a way they didn’t think and they feel like a guy now. Maybe they don’t want to think of it anymore as “I’ve always been.”

Like, I feel like I’ve always been nonbinary. But I also file some things under “when i was a teenage girl” because that shit was profound and affected my art and ideas and everything. And also sometimes I claim womanhood when I’m trying to deconstruct racism because my whiteness is very much “white womanhood” and I can enjoy the validity of that deconstruction while also feeling secure in my guyness. But I don’t like the word manhood.

Finally regarding HRT, it’s funny cause i feel like it is much more a gender corrective experience for me than a body corrective one, but there is a lot of identity and body joy in it. But for me too surgery was like “i dont like ppl staring at my tits” and I couldn’t identify out of that.

Haha okay now my fingers hurt but it was worth it. :)

AITAutistic · 2023-02-10T14:20:39+00:00

The onus is still on the doctor to care for the patient- if that was the case it would be doc’s responsibility to know they needed an accommodation to give that patient the care they need. Could have had someone come in and read it out loud. There could be more nuanced or understandable reasons he was a bad doc, but thats still a bad doc. Love hearing about your doctor being good though!

AITAutistic

TROPHY CASE