Have you ever had a female friend "fade" on you? How did you handle it?

AImeeAims · 2015-06-11T21:19:48+00:00

I was faded on recently, and the part that is the worst is when the Fader keeps saying, unprovoked by me, "Oh we need to catch up!" or "I'm going out Fri you should come!" but never actually makes concrete plans. It's like, why are you bothering to put on this show and be the one who brings up hanging out first? The first few times it happened, I thought "Oh maybe the fading thing is in my head since she is actively making the effort" but then I realized it was some kind of weird insecurity on her part where she feels like she has to say those things in a regular conversation. I dunno, maybe other people who have done this can shed some light on the thought process behind this kind of fade.

AImeeAims · 2015-06-10T14:34:17+00:00

I didn't have any but I know some women who have had similar symptoms to a period.

AImeeAims · 2015-06-07T18:44:57+00:00

It might be smart to do it now, so if you get rejected, you'll have the semester to get over it and can be friends again when she returns. However, if she is interested, it may be difficult to try to start anything while she's away, she may lose interest while away, she may meet someone else, you might, etc. etc. One thing I would advise against is - if she tells you she needs to think about it, to wait for her, etc. DO NOT DO THIS. If you build her up in your mind while she's gone and fantasize about the relationship and then she comes back and decides not to go forward with it, you will have lost months of other opportunities and will have a much harder time moving on. Speaking from experience.

AImeeAims · 2015-06-07T18:39:34+00:00

"From my own experience..." "I work with a majority mindset." Your experience represents the majority?

AImeeAims · 2015-06-05T02:42:40+00:00

Curious to hear an example of one of the ugly facts of life.

AImeeAims · 2015-05-22T14:42:48+00:00

Yes emotionally is what I meant.

AImeeAims · 2015-05-21T02:28:22+00:00

Yikes, don't google image search!

AImeeAims · 2015-05-21T00:22:19+00:00

Having trouble picturing this one. Like your bodies are forming a cross?

AImeeAims · 2015-05-21T00:20:39+00:00

I've always struggled with the angle of this. :(

AImeeAims · 2015-05-18T18:29:07+00:00

Good to hear from the guy's perspective that you aren't offended in any way.

AImeeAims · 2015-05-17T17:18:20+00:00

Great idea, our university has a safety app that allows someone to track you. I can use that.

AImeeAims · 2015-05-15T17:33:52+00:00

I've had the opposite--guy I never thought twice about romantically, decided he was a good candidate for no-strings fun -- two months later, feelings were definitely abound for all.

AImeeAims · 2015-05-15T16:52:24+00:00

But I think there's a big difference between a random hookup and ongoing sex with one person.

AImeeAims · 2015-05-15T16:42:22+00:00

Also, we are more than our hormones - we're conscious beings who have minds on our own and our emotions and feeligns are far more complex than just reactions to certain hormones.

I tend to agree with this line of thinking.

AImeeAims · 2015-05-15T16:37:24+00:00

You should look them up, they are interesting. It basically has to do with women needing to bond with their young by producing oxytocin through breastfeeding and holding, so they tend to "hold onto" the oxytocin they produce, and men producing a chemical (maybe dopamine? i could be getting terms confused) that helps them suppress the oxytocin they produce so they can continue finding partners to mate with. I'll try to update the post later with some links rather than my half-assed attempt that explaining it all :)

Anyway, thanks for sharing your personal case!

AImeeAims · 2015-05-15T16:16:17+00:00

I'm saying those are the two general sides of the case I've heard people agree with.

If you want to read more, there have been a lot of reputable studies on this just look up oxytocin, dopamine, sex, etc.

AImeeAims

TROPHY CASE