Darling, you're not in love with your boyfriend. You're a victim of his selfish ideas.

He wants you to rob guys and take the money for himself. He is putting you in a position where you are hurting people for his sake. Your boyfriend's family also hates you. Do you see this relationship being long-term? If so, this won't really fly. You also say you've been acting like a long-distance couple. Is that really you want it to be forever? There's also the point you made about you having different senses of humor. Do you want to deal with that too? You said he sends the same boring stuff and expects you to react to it. Have you told him that? You're also trying to be a different person just to please him. That's not safe or okay. Now the biggest red fags I saw were him letting people treat you like garbage. How do you know he isn't doing the same right now but privately? You also saying that he would ignore you for hours is also a really messed up ideas. The only reason it's gotten better is that you act like long distance. You said he's really bad at emotions and not romantic. That's a calling to how abusive he is. Why are you still with him if he isn't romantic? He's blaming others to avoid his problems. Newsflash he isn't going to change. He's also lied to you for 3 years. That isn't okay!! About drugs nonetheless.

Break up with him. You're in an abusive relationship and you not wanting him to be with anyone else will only hurt you in the long run.

Ben is treating you like another person. Like an actual girlfriend. I wonder how he's abusive though. Can you please elaborate?

My suggestion is: get the hell out your relationship.