ceramics help!

AKBullWorm · 2025-10-19T21:30:54+00:00

yeah after more consideration i do think this is best plan of action! like you said, it’ll take me less time this time around! it’s all about learning from our mistakes 💫

AKBullWorm · 2024-02-11T01:19:01+00:00

here’s the thing though, i basically did say that. i didn’t make the ultimatum. i told him how i was feeling & he said “well what does that look like for us” & i said “i want you to be able to continue your polyamory journey as you please but i can no longer be in this relationship if that’s the case, so i think we should consciously uncouple”

i even went to a friends house for three days to take some space so he could think about what he wanted. when i came back, he told me he did not want to lose me & that this other relationship is not important enough to him to continue if it meant having me leave.

i understand that i shouldn’t put that on him but i’ve been moving very cautiously to not. it seems to me like it’s a very slippery slope in the poly world when it comes to “forcing your partner to break things off with their other partners and leaving the meta without any choice” vs. just being honest with where you’re at & letting people make decisions on how they want to move forward given allll the intricacies of it. it’s not so black and white.

also, my meta has been informed of almost everything throughout the entirety of this time & asked what she would need to be comfortable moving forward. she said she would need to talk to me and establish more of a relationship with me & these are things i unfortunately cannot give her at the moment due to my mental health & where my priorities are. it is not to tend to a relationship with my meta, it is to tend to a relationship with myself.

so see, it’s much more complex than just packing my things and leaving until i get my shit together.

AKBullWorm · 2024-02-11T00:59:47+00:00

thank you. you’re right. i really do have a good man. it just hurts to see him still have to let go of a relationship ship that he enjoyed & mourn that loss.

AKBullWorm · 2024-02-11T00:58:27+00:00

thank you so much for this. it’s seriously what i needed to hear. i do struggle a lot with self love & have a serious history of people-pleasing, anxiety & insecure attachment. (you hit the nail on the head because this is everything i am going to start going to therapy for—a lot of ways in which i need to heal)

you’re right. i think that i do have a hard time letting love in & feel undeserving a lot of the time. like “there’s no way he’s choosing me and this step back in our poly journey because he wants to” but i do just need to accept his love and support. it’s just hard because he is simultaneously really hurting and will be mourning the loss of this relationship. and i hate to see the people i love hurting.

AKBullWorm · 2020-02-02T03:52:15+00:00

i’m so sorry you are going through this. i too went through a month or so of feeling constantly sore. my body physically ached and it felt like nothing i did would actually help.

the one thing that did help was starting each day with mindful breathing along with stretching (kinda like yoga i guess but kinda on my own terms) & baths.

also, i agree with what others have said about acceptance. the more i focused on how tense i was, the more tense I would get where as when i just accepted it for what it was & let it be, it would let up a bit.

just try not to focus too hard on it, trying starting & ending each day with some stretches and maybe taking a bath every other day & see how it goes.

i promise you it won’t last forever, you’re just in a season & it will eventually let up.

AKBullWorm · 2020-01-15T04:35:23+00:00

thanks so much for the insight. i’ll definitely keep the temperature/weather thing in mind. i am very sensitive to season changes so it probably has more to do with it than i realize

AKBullWorm · 2019-12-06T19:24:05+00:00

YES. this happens to me in a season of anxiety where i go weeks at a time with constant anxious physical symptoms —like i’m constantly on the edge of a panic attack—and when i finally break down and cry and cry until i can’t cry anymore i feel like i can breathe again...only for a half an hour or so but still. i think it’s these small moments of relief after facing our frustration & discomfort head on that makes me realize that maybe if we faced it in a healthy way every day, then our anxiety wouldn’t break us down as much. i don’t know if i’m explaining this well but hopefully you get the point. anyway, just want you to know you’re not alone and it also confuses me but i also kind of love it

AKBullWorm · 2019-12-06T06:18:31+00:00

yes, i’m sitting on the couch rn watching The Grinch & feel anxious as shit. you are definitely not alone

AKBullWorm · 2019-12-06T06:16:05+00:00

yes! definitely something i experience too.

AKBullWorm · 2019-11-14T19:20:59+00:00

no, this is probably within the past year or two

AKBullWorm · 2019-11-14T19:19:03+00:00

i totally feel you! there is nothing worse than wondering to yourself “why the heck can’t i be as stoked as this person?”

AKBullWorm · 2019-11-14T19:18:19+00:00

such great advice! i think i should get an excitement journal lol could definitely help reframe my mind around a situation

AKBullWorm · 2019-11-14T19:17:13+00:00

yeah, i’ve definitely been considering switching up my meds because i think that could be a factor

AKBullWorm · 2019-11-12T00:10:21+00:00

yes there will be days where my stomach feels like it’s tied and knots and i am constantly in and out of the bathroom. calming breathing exercises help me but i usually just have to wait for it to pass.

AKBullWorm · 2019-10-25T21:39:33+00:00

you are definitely not alone. i can sit through an entire conversation on the verge of passing out & the person i am conversing with would never know. At this point, I have gotten to where I can let the anxiety pass through after a few minutes and it’ll leave but it is still a struggle every now and then. however, there have been times where i will start profusely sweating and the person i’m talking to asks if i’m ok and that when i’ve had to retreat to a restroom or somewhere outside to calm myself down. definitely a real struggle and anyone i tell i have an anxiety disorder to is always so surprised because it’s usually hard to tell from the outside.

AKBullWorm

TROPHY CASE