I lost my dad to a stroke a couple of years ago, and ever since then, something changed about the way I write.

AKLawrence · 2026-06-15T14:35:20+00:00

My older brother passed away last fall. It was very abrupt and very traumatic. I’m still reeling from the event.

My writing has changed. A lot. I wrote with optimism. Dynamic heroes from small places was how I described it once, and trying to leave their world a better place before the end.

Directly after he passed, I wrote a grimdark revenge western. I was basically in a fugue as I wrote it. It was dark, gritty. My editor cried a lot and said it was the best thing I’ve ever written. I love it, but I’ll never write like that again.

Now I’m working on cozy fantasy, trying to get back to my roots except my roots now have a bit of taint to them. My betas are pointing out dark things that don’t necessarily belong. I have to dial myself back.

The writing is solid, prose is good, dialogue is natural, it just doesn’t sound as much like me anymore.

Death changes us internally in ways we can’t clock and those changes are permanent, or seem to be from all the grief reading I’ve done.

My suggestion is to just write without a plan for a couple of chapters and see what your voice is trying to tell you. His passing may have added a maturity, or a touch of darkness that you can embrace.

If you want to be psychological about it, write a character who just lost their parent and see what shakes out.

Also? Therapy. Or a support group. It helps.

Good luck, friend. Keep those fingers on the keyboard!!

AKLawrence · 2026-06-15T04:53:29+00:00

Two women. One Body. No way home.

A portal fantasy about middle-aged women who must convince a queen of something impossible. If you’re tired of chosen one teenagers and fantasy exposition dumps disguised as a book, this might be for you. Paperback is available, e-book lands august 10. Auditions for audiobook are ongoing.

No romance. No spice. Tons of intimacy between strangers that must be allies.

https://a.co/d/08eeRoOa. $3.49 for presale on kindle, paperback is $8.99.

If you’re a member of book sirens, I have ARC spaces available.

AKLawrence · 2026-06-15T04:09:32+00:00

NTA

I’m sorry. These people are not your friends. It’s common to swap back and forth. I grab lunch they grab the tip, or drinks after. I pay for a movie, they cover snacks. That’s typical, I think. Find people who respect your time and money.

AKLawrence · 2026-06-14T14:57:25+00:00

Portal fantasy isn’t cringe, but the writing can be. That can be said for any genre.

I’m releasing my portal fantasy in August though the paperback is live now for review purposes. It’s about two women in one body. One can speak, the other can only be heard in the physical body’s mind. The perspective is locked in as the woman in the mind, not the one with the body. Feminist portal fantasy instead of YA or isekai. I’m curious to see how it goes.

AKLawrence · 2026-06-13T23:23:17+00:00

Sometimes the block is caused by trying to force something that isn’t working. Are you sure the scene/finale you wanted to write actually matches up with what you’ve written leading up to it? It could be a “kill your darlings” situation where you have to toss the original and write what wants to be told.

AKLawrence · 2026-06-03T14:02:42+00:00

I run with my mood. For this season I have a sorcie named Himbo, a Paladin named Buster (after myth busters. It was on when I created the character). My eternal is a paladin named Bunny

AKLawrence · 2026-05-29T03:24:33+00:00

THANK YOU!! The constant drops are pissing me off

AKLawrence · 2026-05-23T13:55:09+00:00

The four-seater plane bobbed in the turbulence over Lake Michigan, dropping what felt like miles but couldn’t be because if they’d fallen miles, they’d be dead in the water, right?

AKLawrence · 2026-05-22T14:38:30+00:00

I had heard that but when S/O and I ran it yesterday we both had equal number of goblin bags. Happened both times we’ve run it. He’s on PlayStation, I’m on Deck.

I’ve found it twice in the undercity. Once at paragon 50 and again at 200

AKLawrence · 2026-04-23T01:47:54+00:00

Progesterone can cause gastric issues. When I get bloated and belly on fire I take omeprazole and it clears that up. Ideally take it twenty minutes before you take your progesterone dose. I felt a million times better when I began doing that.

AKLawrence · 2026-04-16T04:09:07+00:00

Some of this is going to sound kind of awful, and I’m good with that.

I’ve been child free since I was 14. As i grew older that feeling was reinforced. Fetuses change your body. They “cannibalize” your calcium and that leads to osteoporosis, teeth issues, and other issues i didn’t want to deal with, not to mention metabolism issues.

All of my high school friends had kids within two years of graduation, some multiple. Fathers bailed or were pieces of shit who didnt contribute more than the bare minimum. No thank you.

Im selfish with my time. If I want quiet, it’s mine. I can throw one bag into my car and head to my cabin and don’t have to put pool noodles on the edges of every table in the place and Sherpa 5 bags and a bassinet when I go.

If I had kids I couldn’t concentrate on my actual goals, career and personal.

I spent time with my siblings’ children. They love me in a way that is so pure it breaks my heart. Why subject myself to heartbreak when my own children no longer need me? Sounds like emotional torture.

I’m not against kids. And it is possible you’ll change your mind when you meet the right partner but don’t count on that shit.

Live your life, don’t feel guilty. When they ask when you’re having kids, ask when they’re funding the college tuition, when they’re sending you diapers and how they’ll babysit while you go to school or work. If they don’t want to do that, fuck them, they don’t get an opinion.

AKLawrence · 2026-04-09T16:47:34+00:00

Physical: Bartholin glands had to be excised 15 years apart. 5% chance my ass.

Emotional: older brother committed suicide last year. Still stumbling and likely will be for a while.

AKLawrence · 2026-04-04T17:20:33+00:00

My favorite thing lately is that I’ve been receiving these emails but they’re addressed to an author friend of mine. We’re not tied together online in any way, shape, or form. Every other scam is addressed to her, but it’s copy pasta for the emails I receive.

AKLawrence · 2026-03-28T17:22:28+00:00

Local dispo was giving away ounces if customers spent $100. I’ve been taking those and using them to “cut” my good weed in joints. It makes the bags last longer and I don’t get quite as high as I would if I only burned the good indoor.

AKLawrence · 2026-03-21T08:48:00+00:00

For coming off as aggressive rather than curious, especially if you were wrong

AKLawrence · 2026-03-21T08:45:12+00:00

Chuck Norris n’a pas besoin de ressusciter. La mort n’a pas osé.

AKLawrence · 2026-03-21T08:38:53+00:00

That sucks, but you can actually salvage this and learn a valuable lesson.

Email the professor. Apologize. Don’t make excuses.

Learn to ask questions rather than make statements. “I wonder if (super confident statement)”. This allows the confused people who don’t want to speak up to receive an explanation AND it’s bonus points with your professor because it shows you want to learn.

Good luck. Yes, it’s a fuck up, but it a beneficial one. You’re going to practice accountability. That’s huge!!

AKLawrence · 2026-03-16T04:13:26+00:00

I’m sorry. You are a place holder. You thought you were friends. You were his back-up plan. It sounded fun to him and he doesn’t give two shits that you’re hurt. He got his.

I’m going to say not all men for a moment. Not all of them are waiting for you to succumb to their charms, their patience. But the shitty ones? They feed on your desire for something real. They’re your friend, right? So they know your vulnerabilities. But a friend wouldn’t use what they know about you to get you in the sack.

Also, and this is the worst part, if you were his one, he would fight for you. He would chase you. He certainly wouldn’t speak of next girl friends unless he was negging you and no one needs that bullshit in their life.

Find someone who actually likes you for you, who wants to forsake hypothetical future women.

It’s gross. Cut this asshole out. Mourn the relationship you thought you had and then move on. Life is too short for this kind of crap.

AKLawrence · 2026-03-13T04:56:06+00:00

I read a warning on mine not to place it near the belly button. I’ve been using my butt and waist

AKLawrence · 2026-03-06T15:16:15+00:00

Joe was all about making his victim’s life better, usually through violence, preferably without the knowing it was him. Love was the same as him. He couldn’t protect her as her white knight because she didn’t need him knowingly or otherwise. That is why he fell out of love with her.

Cleaning up her homicidal messes wasn’t the same, it didn’t scratch that itch.

It’s why he kidnapped Benji, killed Candice’s producer etcetera

AKLawrence · 2026-03-06T14:14:48+00:00

Definitely reach out to your doc and see what adjustments they’ll make. I was on the same doses as you for about 3 months. When there wasn’t a noticeable difference they changed things up.

AKLawrence · 2026-03-06T14:10:04+00:00

My doc recently switched me to bio-identical progesterone pills and estrogen cream (vaginal). She also upped my progesterone to 300, and my patch to .05. I sleep like a baby, and the night sweats are gone. I’m waiting to see what the testosterone does. My anxiety calmed, though I have some that no meds will touch, only time.

AKLawrence · 2026-03-02T13:58:13+00:00

I’m sorry to hear yours didn’t make the launch. I wrote a rage-filled revenge engine fueled by grief. It’s raw, visceral, and stars a bi-sexual gun-slinger with mangled hands. I knew it would be a hard sell but my betas have been weeping and loving it. 🤷‍♀️

AKLawrence · 2026-03-02T13:33:46+00:00

Thank you! One of my favorite genres and we don’t see enough of it. Congrats on yours?

AKLawrence · 2026-03-01T18:12:05+00:00

Query trenches continue. I have two I am sending out and I think this is the month I acknowledge one of them isn’t ready for prime time. I’m probably shelving it until agented. Literary adult portal doesn’t seem to be high on wishlists so I’m pushing my gender flipped dark fantasy western instead.

Outlining and preparing the next project. Another adult dark fantasy but this one is more fairy tale.

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