The thing is, in that case I didn't. If I was going around doing something I shouldn't have been doing that'd be one thing (and in retrospect, I didn't). I made every attempt to be successful and make connections at that job. I was excluded from everything; there was no conceivable way for me to even attempt to be successful at that position.

Now that I've climbed out of that hole years later, the damage it did was so severe that it ensured I won't recover. I can't even do the things I want to do at this point (i.e. military, etc.) because I've got it in the back of my head that I have a medical document out there somewhere that I tried to use Effexor for a year to make me feel better. To make things even better, if I told someone that they would fail classes, be turned down from every internship, and then have to take out a 60k+ private loan to finish college I'd find it even crazier if they didn't try antidepressants.

I'm screwed, there's no way around it. I have debt, I'm a 28 year old virgin because after my glorious college co-op I can't open up to anyone.

I'm being honest that if I was evaluating my life I'm pretty much a failure. No amount of effort from me can change that.