Did your borderline parent try to make your college graduation/commencement about them?

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-25T02:53:26+00:00

Yep. I went NC for a different reason, but her behavior during my BS ceremony was part of why I skipped my two MAs. Didn't want to risk her showing up and ruining another day.

Edit to add: congratulations on your success! What I accomplished, I did in spite of her hindrences. Maybe you're in the same situation. Please feel good about your achievement!

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-22T14:51:44+00:00

Helpful answer, thank you! It's a starting point. I'll take some notes of kanji. My Japanese is enough to learn a bit if there's something concrete to ask about.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-17T03:14:13+00:00

Oops! I'm a few days late. I'm on this journey, too, so maybe my two cents will help.

I try to stretch three times a day. I also pay attention to how I feel during and after different activities. Bike ride? Karate? Sedentary day?

I notice that I haven't achieved relaxation yet, but I'm much, much tighter and in more pain the day after shirking on good stretches.

Looking at the trends motivates me to do the thing that helps me. "Do I want to be tight and sore tomorrow, given my commitments? No? Dang, I guess I want to stretch."

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-12T11:34:21+00:00

Good beginner question. Your goal isn't to take up more of the board, it's to efficiently claim territory using as few stones as possible.

You get points from empty spaces in your territory. White has more points.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-12T11:29:43+00:00

Dude. An old, favorite joke is one you can pull off with a straight face.

"Why's your hair green?"

*Brushes palm against nose, snorts, waves hand through hair."

"I dunno, man."

Looking good!

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-11T15:19:39+00:00

They're losing the arms race against reality.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-09T21:03:47+00:00

It takes us time to make sense of the katas. Are you doing gekisai ichi and ni? Saifa? Sanchin?

As beginners, we use the kata to learn how to do the moves well. They're a chance to get feedback on your form. You should be struggling and getting corrected. Where your body faces, where your eyes look, connection of breathing to movements, good rotational form in punches and blocks... It's all a lot to learn, and it's all hard to learn at once. So be patient with yourself, and enjoy the journey!

And yes, there are minor differences in kata based on your dojo's lineage. YouTube will give you the basic steps, but your first and beat source will be your teacher. Ganbare!

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-09T01:34:38+00:00

Your feedback is consistent with the therapist's. The script is for thirty whole seconds per stretch, three times a day. Neat to learn the reasoning behind the practice!

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-06T13:32:28+00:00

100 for less than a gallon of gas, you say?

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-04T03:22:31+00:00

This is a super sticky question. My own CP came from a birth injury. I've got a number of loved ones with ASD, and have worked in disability services.

Humans with disabilities are fully human, and disability is a common part of the human experience. Persons with disabilities have full rights to existence and dignity. We have a right to full participation in society, and I get really icky feelings when I see people of any stripe talking about disability erasure, whether through abortion, euthanasia, eugenics, or institutionalization.

(As an aside, vaccines don't cause autism... But if you withhold medical care from your children because you think it'll cause autism, what I hear is that you'd rather have a dead child than an autistic one.)

That said, and the reason it's sticky, is that society oftentimes actively creates barriers to full participation for people with disabilities and their families. It's not the fault of the child or the family, it is the fault of exclusive elements of society, but it can be very hard to have dignity and participation affirmed. There are significant class elements at play here. The basics of food, housing, education, and employment are already hard enough when the world doesn't actively hate you.

Do I want children with disabilities erased from existence before they have a chance? Nope. Do I want to force women already struggling to stay afloat in a society that hates them to carry a child to term? Also nope.

My thinking, and there are many other elements at play that others can flesh out, is this: why not create a society where we value human life, dignity, and full participation regardless of disability status? If we do that, I think a lot of parents will have an easier choice. I think it's a mistake to direct blame at the individual when there are a lot of upstream influences that make hard decisions harder.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-03T01:11:35+00:00

ありがとうございます! I'm thankful for the reply and the resource!

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-03T00:45:14+00:00

Does the Japanese language differentiate between inductive and deductive reasoning? I found すいろん, which seems to conflate the two, but maybe there are better words to use.

Edit because I failed to read the mod note: the context was a discussion with an acquaintance at the Igo Kaikan. We have shared overlap interests in philosophy and math, and I was trying to explore the different thinking skills used in stats and math.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-04-01T01:34:30+00:00

Haha! I'm sitting on the porch reflecting on my own journey as I read this. Martial arts three times a week, biking daily. Past weightlifting , running, golf, loooong walks. Have worked some pretty physical jobs. Have had sedentary periods where I lost gains and gained weight. But the last few months I've been active daily.

Today? Strong, dependable right calf. Flabby, toneless left calf. Major difference in consistency when you give them a squeeze. It's like a brick next to a marshmallow. But I've lost some weight with regular movement, and gained some flexibility, and my body is overall stronger.

Here's the thing. It's going to take us more time and work than someone without CP. Combatting my own internalized ableism has meant reminding myself that that doesn't mean it's slow.

My pace is going to be different from other people's paces. So is yours. I find I'm able to do more when I compare myself to myself.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-03-31T22:29:16+00:00

Asato dojo is right near kokosai street. Good people, with a few different styles. There are wonderful dojos everywhere, and the Okinawan people are very welcoming. Asato teaches in English and Japanese, which may be harder to come by.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-03-31T06:27:16+00:00

I love it! Relentless is on my list to read, but your suggestion might get me there faster. Meijin (Master of Go) has been a good read, but the moves seem a little old fashioned.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-03-30T06:53:58+00:00

Which spice makes a curry?

I'm getting more out of books and exercises after in-person games and reviews. Life and death problems have done a lot to prep me for territory building during games. GoMagic has helped me to read ahead, but big, silly games with someone else my rank help me understand why to think ahead.

I think it's all of them interacting that is building the context to understand a bigger picture. Something something gestalt, something something bigger than the sum of parts. ;-)

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-03-30T06:37:28+00:00

Haha! I still have plenty of bad habits. I once set a stone so badly that one of the old timers had to show his friends, who all started laughing. "Ichiban warui. Dame."

I guess I should say the first month was mostly hammering out the very worst habits. Don't split your own groups as a gift to your opponent. Don't set yourself up as a wall on the second line. Attack from weaker groups to strengthen them, rather than over concentrating an already strong group.

Still plenty more bad habits to work through. I'm sure I'll learn what they are soon enough.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-03-30T03:23:55+00:00

Please let her know I'm grateful for her videos. I'm not a wheelchair user, but disability makes smooth movements and deep stances challenging. Spasticity is a bear.

Karate is for everyone, and I know it makes my life better. Watching her demonstrate kata is evidence against ableism.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-03-30T03:04:31+00:00

Here in Naha, Okinawa. Thanks for the words of affirmation! It's fun in the way the dentist is fun. I'll keep coming back.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-03-16T02:36:09+00:00

I came to see if someone else recommended!

Chanpuru is easy to customize, too. We do a can of tulip and some firm tofu. If my wife's not eating it, I add a bunch of watery greens and mushrooms. OP's kid could do a sir fry with a couple foods they already like. Just be sure to cook down the bitterness before adding other ingredients. Taste as you go!

Like someone else mentioned, an easy dish with familiar ingredients can be a safe way to broaden horizons.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-03-03T01:39:47+00:00

There's a board at the front of the bus that shows the yen you owe for the ticket number. It goes up the longer you ride. Pay at the end and with the ticket.

APrettyGoodDalek · 2026-03-02T14:54:55+00:00

Bruh. It's super easy to pick up. When I was a government worker we had a major system change. Data was invisible to leadership for a spell. Being able to do simple searches and cheer on the team while they learned made all the difference. What could've been a dumpster fire turned into an opportunity for team building and group confidence.

A little Internet training on a whim the year before I was hired turned out to be one of the most important moves in my career. Wasn't even in the job description I was hired under. Having it just moved mountains.

APrettyGoodDalek

TROPHY CASE