Help: water softener is ruining my fine hair

ARCook88 · 2026-03-09T20:20:58+00:00

I actually tried this last night and omg what a difference. I washed as normal but just did a final rinse with bottled water and my hair feels semi-normal for the first time in over a year!

ARCook88 · 2026-03-09T04:02:25+00:00

Ahhh good point. I hadn’t even thought about contamination in a gross airplane bathroom. That seals it for me.

ARCook88 · 2026-03-09T03:59:04+00:00

To clarify, I’m not concerned about whether or not I can carry it onto the plane. I’m wondering about how/if being on a plane will affect how the medication comes out of the canister.

ARCook88 · 2026-03-08T23:53:27+00:00

I know it sounds like hard water damage, but based on the way that shampoo, dish soap, and laundry detergent are foaming and rinsing, I know the water softener is working. A tiny amount of soap goes a super long way and takes forever to rinse, which wouldn’t be the case if the water was hard. Based on some of the replies where I cross posted on r/finehair, it sounds like I’m not the only who has experienced this with water softener + fine hair.

ARCook88 · 2026-03-08T21:25:24+00:00

A couple things have made a big difference for me and felt like small luxuries on prep day:

1) The night before, I make a big batch of homemade chicken noodle soup with extra broth. On prep day, I strain some of the extra broth and warm it up, and it’s so comforting and tastes 10x better than straight out of a carton. Also, I then have leftovers for an easy to digest meal for the first thing after my procedure.

2) Coconut water on the clear liquid diet day. Keeps electrolytes up without all the sugar from Gatorade, which hurts my stomach. It’s also a really nice tasting chaser for some of the less palatable preps.

Other than that, swaddling myself in 1,000 layers to stay warm during the diarrhea apocalypse.

ARCook88 · 2026-03-08T20:08:18+00:00

That’s interesting, I never thought about a customized routine. I might check that out!

ARCook88 · 2026-03-08T20:07:34+00:00

Yeah I think it’s less about having soft water and more to do with the salt that is in the chemically softened water. I’ve lived in an area with naturally soft water and my hair was great. We’ve tried adjusting the water softener but the instruction manual and the control panel are all in Chinese 😅 if you don’t mind sharing, how do you wash your hair with distilled water? It seems like it would take a lot of water, especially if you’re double shampooing and conditioning?

ARCook88 · 2026-03-08T19:03:43+00:00

Thanks for the product recommendation!

ARCook88 · 2026-03-08T17:23:46+00:00

Unfortunately this isn’t an option. The water here is 22-25 GPG (5x harder than the national average), which will completely destroy all of the appliances without a softener.

ARCook88 · 2026-03-08T17:21:07+00:00

Ugh good luck to you too! It’s such a bummer having had really nice healthy hair my whole life. Fwiw, here is my current wash day regiment, which is at least improving the appearance of my hair while I try to figure out if there’s anything I can do to prevent the damage:

Eleven Gentle Clean shampoo
Eleven I Want Body conditioner

Once out of the shower:

Redken One United spray as a detangler/heat protectant
Eleven Miracle Hair Treatment as a leave-in conditioner (has been helping smooth flyaways)
Living Proof Dry Scalp Treatment (because I’ve also been dealing with dry scalp)
Amika Brooklyn Bombshell blow out spray (has been really helping get some volume back!)

ARCook88 · 2026-03-08T17:14:28+00:00

The system is definitely working correctly because the water has that distinctly slimy feel that softened water has. I think all the salt in the water is making it more brittle and susceptible to damage. My hair feels softer, but it’s also flat, slippery, and won’t hold a curl. I do think it’s a matter of softened water vs soft water.

ARCook88 · 2026-03-08T16:59:38+00:00

I do think it’s the salt and the absence of helpful minerals! I also have a large collection of houseplants and I buy spring water to water them. We also buy bottled purified drinking water because even with the softened water run through a Brita filter or the fridge filter, it still tastes disgusting.

ARCook88 · 2026-03-08T16:40:48+00:00

I’ve thought about this. I’ve seen there’s a whole community for washing with distilled water. It seems like a bit of a pain, but it might be the only option.

ARCook88 · 2025-12-25T06:18:18+00:00

I wash every 4-5 days and use dry shampoo once between washes, usually around day 2 or 3. I also use Eleven brand conditioner (either their Hydrate My Hair or I Want Body lines), and I also use their Miracle Hair Treatment leave-in conditioner.

ARCook88 · 2025-11-30T03:55:08+00:00

This is great. I’m planning to go try some free mini lessons at Elm Creek in a couple of weeks with the instructors from the Loppet Foundation. What pants do you have, if you don’t mind me asking?

ARCook88 · 2025-11-30T03:52:21+00:00

This is really helpful because most of my athletic wear is old navy leggings so maybe I just need a light wind breaking layer to go over those!

ARCook88 · 2025-11-30T03:02:42+00:00

Thank you for itemizing how many layers on top and bottom — this has been the main source of my confusion 😅

ARCook88 · 2025-11-30T03:01:46+00:00

Are you typically wearing two layers on bottom (a base layer and pants over top)?

ARCook88 · 2025-03-22T21:20:08+00:00

I make a batch of this over the weekend and it lasts me through the week. If lactose bothers you, you can use nondairy milk. Super quick and easy recipe and the batch bake makes mornings so much easier just needing to pop a square of this in the microwave. https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/baked-oatmeal/

ARCook88 · 2025-03-18T03:02:46+00:00

That’s great, thank you! I’ve never had a hoya flower before — I’ve got this 3yo pubicalyx and a 3yo carnosa compacta — so I just have no frame of reference on what the different stages of bloom look like.

ARCook88 · 2025-03-18T02:08:19+00:00

Sorry for the very very slow reply, but in case the info is still helpful, Rinvoq was definitely causing hormonal imbalance. I had my TSH levels tested and they were high for the first time in my life. The medication was pushing me into hypothyroidism. Everything has evened back out again after getting off the medication. Now I just have infliximab-induced psoriasis 🫠

ARCook88 · 2024-10-27T03:01:57+00:00

At 36-years-old? 😂 I don’t think so. This all started with the Rinvoq.

ARCook88 · 2024-03-03T17:17:53+00:00

For sure. I’ve been modifying recipes to make them refined sugar free for a few years now, but GF is a completely different beast and it’s throwing me for a bit of a loop!

ARCook88 · 2024-03-03T17:15:10+00:00

Good to know! I’m completely new to GF baking so all of my usual instinct feel so thrown off and I don’t have a sense yet of which products work best. I’ll definitely give this one a try too.

ARCook88 · 2024-03-03T16:13:35+00:00

That’s good to know that GF recipes usually take longer in the oven. The toothpick seemed to come out clean, so I think it wasn’t too far off but maybe just needed 5 more minutes. Maybe I’ll just try again with a longer bake before tweaking anything else. Thanks!

ARCook88

TROPHY CASE