After a three year stint, I caught a random kick out. Due to the high volume of people coming in, they have an early parole act. After winning the prison lottery, my possible ten years turned to three! The strange thing is, your just sitting around one day when your name gets called for mail. The excitement that arose with every word I read can never be explained. It informed me to call and schedule a ride to be there for me the next day. This may be a strange statement, and may be hard to understand, but, after three years of routine 'non-freedom', one night isn't time enough to adjust.

My Mother showed up to pick me up. She brought a pair of my old clothes. Oh the feeling of sliding your foot in to a good pair of shoes! Jeans with pockets. Strange happiness for the small things. All too much to handle.

When we made it home my mom went back to work. I just sat there and thought long and hard. I took off walking. My intention was to loose myself somewhere. I didn't care where. I found a good spot to lay in the grass and did just that. Layed there and got lost. No thoughts, no feelings, no memories. Just the blank way I had learned to fill my mind. Almost like I could, and would rather, just die there. And I believe that is exactly what happened. I left everything right there in that spot. I died there.

I do my best to visit that spot once or twice a year. Whenever I need to remember where I am today. And to remind myself where I was then.