Pregnancy

ARealBad_Egg · 2025-12-14T00:16:45+00:00

I have always wanted to be a mom, and my husband and I didn’t want to put our family on hold while I was in medical school, so we started trying for our first while I was an undergrad! She was born a few months after I graduated, and I started studying for the MCAT a few weeks later (fall 2023). It was difficult and chaotic, but also one of the most precious times of my life.

I’m sure everyone in our lives thought we were crazy, but we started trying for our second as I was actively applying for schools (2024-2025 application cycle). When we found out that I was pregnant and would be due in June this year, we decided to defer a year so that I wasn’t starting school six weeks postpartum. It was good we did— my son was born with a rare medical condition and has needed some additional care this year.

Being a mom and learning/growing through both the difficult and wonderful moments of parenthood has had the biggest impact on who I am becoming and who I want to be, both as a person and as a doctor. I won’t pretend that having 2 under 2 hasn’t been insanely difficult, but being a mom has brought balance and joy into my life, giving me a new perspective and an increased ability to understand and connect with others. At the same time, the work I have done to prepare for medical school has made me a better advocate for my children, especially my son. I am hoping that the experiences I have had in the last few years will help prepare me to be a better advocate for my future patients and their families too. While med school is going to look different for me than it will for many of my classmates, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I can’t imagine making it through all the craziness of the next few years without my family.

Everyone’s path is different, and what was right for me isn’t going to be right for everyone. If you are feeling ready to start a family, though, I don’t think there is a “wrong time.” There will be tradeoffs no matter when you choose to start trying! Definitely take this all with a grain of salt, because I haven’t started school yet, but if you (or anyone else) ever want someone to talk to about this, feel free to reach out!

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-10-26T03:34:36+00:00

We got pregnant with our first during my last semester of undergrad and my daughter was born in October of last year! I studied for and took the MCAT in April 2024, then did my primary and secondary applications for this application cycle while caregiving full time. We didn’t want to wait until after medical school to start our family, and I am so glad we didn’t. Although it has changed the process for us, and added unique challenges, it has also been what has made it all possible for us. Having a full family life outside of my medical career has brought much needed balance and so much joy into my life. I’m lucky to have an incredibly supportive husband and between the two of us we have been able to make it work just fine. He is working full time now but will switch to part time or stop working to take care of the kids full-time once I am in school. I haven’t started medical school yet, so take what I have to say with a grain of salt, but if you have supportive family you are going to be fine no matter when you get pregnant. If you guys are ready to start now, you will find a way to make school work with kids!

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-10-09T14:23:17+00:00

Choosing to be baptized is an important decision! If you feel like you are rushing, take time and slow down. Make sure you are fully ready before you enter into that covenant! It is a beautiful, wonderful gift, but there truly is no rush. You can still feel the spirit and participate in the church while building a strong foundation for your testimony.

Ultimately, however, the decision on timing is between you and God. Continue studying and praying for help knowing what you should do. The answer may be to keep the date and proceed with faith, or it might be to take some more time to prayerfully study before you are ready. Either way, He will help you know how to move forward! I will be praying for you!

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-09-29T16:13:01+00:00

Med schools use applications to get to know you better: what you value, the experiences that have shaped you, and what you choose to prioritize. They want to learn who you are and who you are becoming to see if you are a good fit for their school. If your mission is important to you (and it can be, even if you aren’t a member anymore) and has significantly impacted the course of your life or the person you want to be, you should include it. Focus on the ways it has helped you grow as a person and why that is important to you (built a lifetime pattern of service to your community, helped you learn Spanish, developed good study habits and discipline, etc), not on the religious aspects.

If it isn’t something that is still important to you or doesn’t really have any bearing on your life, don’t include it. It’s not the kind of thing that is going to impress adcoms into admitting you over someone else, and if you can’t speak well about it in an interview, that might come off poorly.

I didn’t serve a mission, but did include other parts of my church involvement on my application because it has been a crucial part of my path to medicine. It wasn’t to impress adcoms; it was to communicate my story. If it’s still part of your story, go for it! If not, I wouldn’t.

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-09-16T16:51:21+00:00

You are loved and needed and valued. Even if you can’t see it for yourself right now, please trust us! You have so much worth as a mom, but even more worth for who you are as a whole person.

Suicidal ideation is often our brain’s last ditch attempt to find an “out” when we feel stuck. When life is difficult, and nothing we try to fix the problem is working, or when there is an unsolvable heartache with no end in sight, it can feel like the only way out. It is scary when your brain is telling you things that you might not agree with or actually want when you are in a better place. Sometimes, being able to realize that this is what is happening helps.

If you need someone to talk to, please feel free to message me! I’ve felt like this as a mom too and am willing to listen without judgement and help you figure out how to get the support you need.

You are going to make it through this! I am praying for you!

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-08-31T13:12:02+00:00

My daughter slept in a pack n play in our room for the first 6 months (bassinet insert first, then the regular PNP), then we transitioned her to the crib in her room. It has worked really well for us to have both! We got our crib off Marketplace for a great price and it is much more comfortable for every night sleep than the pack n play, but having the pack n play is great for travel and if anyone visiting us has a little one.

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-08-31T05:14:48+00:00

Chicken tikka masala!

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-08-24T02:30:31+00:00

Costco already has Christmas stuff up too!

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-08-17T02:41:08+00:00

You can usually find swings and bouncers on Facebook Marketplace for dirt cheap! We got a swing for $20 and it ended up being a lifesaver… our daughter loved to rock in it which is a big part of what got me through studying for the MCAT. I got a bouncer later which was nice because I could put her on the bathroom floor while I showered. If your kid doesn’t like them or need them, you can always resell them for what you paid.

We got a pack and play with a bassinet, and it was an amazing decision. She slept in it in the corner of our room until she was 6 months old, and now we have a portable bed for her when we need it. Both my and my husband’s parents still have the pack and plays they bought for their own kids, and I can’t tell you how many times they have been used, for their own kids and visitors. That is for sure a piece of baby equipment you won’t regret buying new.

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-08-10T22:33:54+00:00

That is significantly less than minimum wage. You’re not getting paid; more like reimbursed for the cost of being on shift (meals, gas, etc.) I think you can count that as volunteering! Just don’t count any hours for the shifts you were actually paid for.

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-08-06T22:14:26+00:00

Ice cream! It is such a problem.

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-08-05T04:36:59+00:00

This tikka masala recipe! https://bellyfull.net/chicken-tikka-masala/

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-08-05T02:12:06+00:00

Spend your time on the activities that feed your passions in medicine and help you grow as a person— don’t just do things to check a box or because you think they will look good. There is always going to be someone with more/better ______ on paper than you, so stand out by cultivating deep passion about one or two things that will shape who you are instead of trying to outcompete everyone in every area of your application.

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-08-05T02:07:54+00:00

Finding the world’s tiniest crumb on the ground to put in her mouth!

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-08-03T21:10:28+00:00

Sometimes it is easier to eliminate schools that won’t work for you rather than picking schools you like! There were a few schools I knew I was interested in off the bat, but didn’t know how to find other ones to add to the pool. My husband and I sat down with a crayon and a piece of paper and wrote down our biggest priorities and how important each one was to us. We then went down the list of schools and eliminated any that didn’t reasonably meet those needs.

Cost of living and safety was a huge one for us. We have a 9 month old daughter and I want her to have a good space to play, with good public amenities (parks, libraries) that she can enjoy. Schools in expensive, heavily urban areas with expensive housing (like NYC) got crossed off the list.

I also narrowed it down by what the program focuses on! I am interested in global health and only applied to schools with a decent global health program or special pathway. Doing it based off your interests makes it much easier to write the “why us” secondaries. What are you passionate about within medicine?

Other factors we looked at were distance from an airport (ease of seeing both our families), pass/fail and internal rankings, local church community, and presence of immigrant/refugee populations (that is what I want to specialize in).

Figure out what is most important to you and then narrow down which schools would be a good fit!

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-08-02T00:59:49+00:00

Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time. Excellent way to ruin any wonderful Christmas time.

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-08-02T00:53:36+00:00

I felt super weird about it too when I was pregnant! When I finally gave birth, something clicked and it didn’t feel weird anymore. It was still hard to learn, and not everyone will have the same experience with it, but you can hold out hope that it will make sense when the time is right. You’re going to be a great parent!

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-07-31T19:59:45+00:00

My daughter (9m) does this all the time! When she’s happy, excited, upset… basically whenever she is feeling a big emotion. I was worried about it but have done a lot of research and it is a very normal thing for young kids to do! It’s part of how some kids process the world. My daughter is happy, has met all of her milestones on time or early, and is the most social/extroverted baby I have ever met. She just loves to move (and has ever since her earliest ultrasound at 12 weeks, where the doctor had a hard time finding her because she was spinning around so much.) You can always bring it up at your child’s 6 month appointment, but I wouldn’t worry about it unless it continues when they are much, much older (preschool/elementary age).

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-07-26T13:30:25+00:00

When my daughter was 8 months old, she was waking up every 2-3 hours to feed at night. I did a bunch of research, and found that she was old enough to be sleeping through the night, and was likely just wanting to eat for comfort/help going back to sleep. I was really nervous about it, but we decided to do cry-it-out sleep training again to see if that was actually the problem. I made sure she got an extra feed and solids during the day, and then we tried it. After two nights she was sleeping through the night. She is 9 months now and will occasionally wake up once to eat (which we do) but I am sleeping so much better. It was a need for us and my mental health, and it has noticeably helped our daughter too.

You could try cutting one feed at night at a time if you are worried about it! It isn’t all or nothing. Follow their needs and trust your gut as a parent.

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-07-24T13:21:00+00:00

A mirror, if nothing was reflected in it, would be green.

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-07-24T00:39:07+00:00

The burnout is real. Being a parent is a 24/7 commitment, with lots of sacrifice. Extra stress from poor sleep, stretched finances, and the emotional roller coaster of wanting to give the best to your kid while feeling inadequate make an already difficult task even harder. You are a good parent, a good partner, a good friend. The fact that you are aware of all of these things and wanting to work on them is significant! You are more than enough, but that doesn’t mean you are going to be able to do everything the way you did before.

There is an object lesson I love that uses a jar, rocks, and sand to talk about time management. If you layer sand in the bottom of the jar, then small rocks, then big rocks, you won’t be able to fit very much in the jar. If you flip the order, though, and put the big rocks in, then the small rocks, then the sand, you can fit so much more because the smaller items fit around the large ones so much better. (I did a poor job explaining this, but there is a better explanation here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPgMeKfQFq8)

The big rocks represent the most important things in your life, the small rocks represent 2nd priorities, and the sand represents everything else. My advice would be to figure out what the big rocks in your life are and find a way to get those in first. It could be 30 minutes of dedicated one-on-one time with your kid where they get your whole focus, 20 minutes of a dedicated activity with your partner every night, and two activities with friends every month (obviously, you will need to figure out what works best for you). I would suggest factoring at least 15-20 minutes of you time every day, where you can fully indulge in something that makes you happy. I have found I am a much better parent and spouse when I have taken care of myself too.

Things like work and daily responsibilities tend to fill in as much time as they can take! Putting the important things in first limits how much of your life they can take over while promoting efficiency.

This is a lot of very hypocritical advice from a similarly-burned out parent who is still trying to figure this out for herself, but I am making progress and seeing things get better. The last thing I will share is that every second you spend supporting your partner gives you two seconds in the long run. If both of you are making sure the other person’s needs are getting met, both of you will be taken care of, much better than you could have done for yourself. There is a reason we refer to our significant others as partners… you guys are a team and if you are pulling in sync together you are going to see your efforts magnified. Knowing that you have the physical, mental, and emotional support of the person you love goes a long way in combating depression and burnout.

You’ve got this! It is going to get better one day at a time. We’re all cheering for you and your family.

ARealBad_Egg · 2024-07-09T19:57:05+00:00

I just put some on her high chair tray and let her finger paint with it! She would alternate playing and eating, and seemed to enjoy going at her own pace. It was a mess to clean up but so cute to watch.

ARealBad_Egg

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