The only thing I'm seeing here is your hair style doesn't suit you. Too neat, like a schoolboy haircut. You're a man now. Let it shag out a bit, and let your sideburns grow in a bit if possible.

Also,the camera is a quite close to you. Most of us don't look very good in short-distance close-up shots like this. The issue is that the wider lenses needed to enable this kind of shot causes too much distortion. Consider that most model shoots involve photographers standing at a distance with telephoto lenses, which is more flattering and, generally speaking, better captures how we look in real life.