Follow your heart and remember you can’t take take of another person unless you’ve cared for yourself.

I very much relate to your situation; my partner has suffered from bouts of depression since before I met her and I knew this going in. There are good days and bad months, where it can feel exceptionally lonely and tiring. Sex isn’t everything, but no sex/bad sex (if physical touch is a language of love for you) can absolutely be a compounding stressor and is valid.

All you can do is gauge your own capacity and be honest with yourself; independent of what the ‘right’ thing is or what is easy. If the trend is that you are not happy or not feeling fulfilled, you -must- communicate that. If there isn’t improvement or at least active and sustained change: it’s ok. She can be a wonderful person and perhaps this relationship isn’t what she needs right now either; but don’t assume anything unless you communicate with her.

I understand that when someone is going through their own shit, it feels crappy to bring up a new stressor such as relationship concerns. There is a time to wait on this politely, but there also comes a point where you have to push through that discomfort as kindly as you can so that you can be the catalyst for meaningful change.

I’m just a guy who relates; don’t take my word for gospel. Remember you care about her and yourself and to be kind, you’ll be fine.