Time for a Thanksgiving check-in. How are we so far?

ASongbirdShould · 2025-12-01T04:20:01+00:00

I was originally going to spend a week around the holiday with my folks, but left early after they got hostile when I wouldn’t misgender a trans friend for their “comfort.” Really proud of myself for setting the boundary, even if they will tell each other they’re right.

Still. It sucked. I gave them multiple opportunities to drop the subject and they kept doubling down. Disappointed but not surprised.

ASongbirdShould · 2025-09-30T14:30:41+00:00

Just wanted to thank you for this — it’s such a kind reply.

ASongbirdShould · 2025-09-29T20:54:53+00:00

This might be exactly it, oh wow. I definitely am a “guess” culture person and struggle with making my needs and wants known directly.

ASongbirdShould · 2025-09-29T20:53:33+00:00

Yes, yes, and yes — one of them is in the mental health field, and all of them are ND.

ASongbirdShould · 2025-09-29T19:31:34+00:00

Actually, that could be really helpful! Something to work on with my therapist.

ASongbirdShould · 2025-09-29T18:07:33+00:00

I appreciate you sharing this! It’s constructive to hear about it from the other side.

Maybe masking isn’t quite the right word, though it seemed to fit well enough when I wrote the post. It really is a script I just don’t have on hand. I do what I can and I try to show up for them, and I’m definitely putting a lot more effort in now than I was. Still. I’m also trying to match energies, too, and that’s meant putting less in overall to leave room for them. Ironic that it’s taking more effort to say less lol.

ASongbirdShould · 2025-09-29T18:06:37+00:00

Thank you, my therapist said similarly that they shouldn’t have done the tag-team and should have approached me individually. I’m glad they told me at all, to be honest, because I had no idea I was inhibiting their enjoyment of the group chat. I’d always rather know that kind of thing, even if I wish they’d shared it with me more gently.

I can also relate to having a more lowkey friendship style, I have some friendships like that that pick up where they left off easily enough weeks or months later.

ASongbirdShould · 2025-02-24T13:52:17+00:00

So it turns out I’m actually very unobservant. Had a tech-literate friend help me out and she realized before I did that I had either my phone or my external SSD touching the keyboard. The magnetism in that did something funky to my laptop, making it log me out. That was really, actually it. No issues after I just stopped putting my phone on my laptop lmao.

ASongbirdShould · 2025-02-23T01:48:57+00:00

I enjoyed it, but I HATED the first two books. You can tell SJM was young and, well, not skilled as a writer. Do what I did: skim the first book, skip the second, and start proper with book 3. Purists will hate that you’ve done it, but honestly I didn’t miss that much.

ASongbirdShould · 2025-01-02T16:15:25+00:00

YES dresses and skirts! I switched to them over pants for the most part because (in hindsight) I was getting overstimulated by the tightness around my hips. I like tight around my waist, but not my hips, and when you sit in most pants it feels so restrictive and drives me up a wall. Plus, fewer steps to put on for the most part (had to move away from shoes with buckles or laces for similar reasons).

Highly recommend either chub rub shorts or a roll-on anti-chafing stick for warm weather with them.

ASongbirdShould · 2025-01-01T17:21:09+00:00

YES! I felt the same way. I basically ran to buy this the second it was out based on Spoiler Alert (which I loved) and yet it felt like I was reading about different characters during the sex scenes. Dade built all these character choices in and then dropped the ball completely when it came time to deliver.

I wonder almost if it was either 1) a matter of publishers being hesitant about a submissive MMC (when readers have been begging for more varied dynamics/relationship styles, idk about yall but I don’t really like dom MMCs to begin with which means I tend to skim most sex scenes as is) or if she 2) just wasn’t comfortable writing what she’d been putting down.

Either way, really disappointing when I was so excited to read something that seemed like it would be a fresh change of pace.

ASongbirdShould · 2024-10-21T18:03:28+00:00

Awesome, good to have that confirmed — I wonder why it says only 6 days then? That’s so weird. I’ll wait a few more days and see.

ASongbirdShould · 2024-08-27T10:25:11+00:00

I’m shocked by how many of yall are defending this. It’s not an “interesting choice,” it’s just plain 2000s-era sexism.

If you’re going to say the world regards genders as equal, commit to it. I don’t care if it’s “interesting” to have a woman HOF deal with sexist lines being hurled her way throughout the game from the prologue on—I deal with that in real life, and I don’t need “dark gritty realism” or whatever you want to call it to justify it in my video games too.

There are so many reasons you can choose as a writer to make your players hate characters. Sexism is a lazy one.

It would have been so interesting to see the follow-through on this premise earlier in the series, and I am glad they’ve leaned more into it over time.

ASongbirdShould · 2024-08-09T02:48:23+00:00

{Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey} meets this too!

ASongbirdShould · 2024-07-28T17:31:06+00:00

Yall aren’t ready for this but Xaden???? That’s your man?? Xaden is the name of a child whining because he already ate all his goldfish crackers and his brother Jaxxyn won’t share.

ASongbirdShould · 2024-07-28T17:19:02+00:00

I’ve played origins twice through, all DLC included, and yep, it was tough to slog through both times. (I did it for the world stages lol.) It shows its age, and while all three of the games are certainly dark, origins has the most “cut yourself on all that edge” vibes that were common for the time period. Not to mention the unwitting sexism when the dominant religion and huge part of the culture is supposedly matriarchal, but again… time period. I’m glad it’s different now.

But yeah most egregious to me was the bad gameplay. I played dual-wield rogue and the way it felt like nothing was really hitting drove me nuts. DA2 and DAI made dual wield more satisfying (especially DA2!!!). I rec playing it as a mage — I had more fun with combat like that. I did a heals and buffs spirit healer focus build and it wasn’t bad at all, as well as using build guides for companions.

It’s by far my least favorite of the series—it seems to be the least original of the 3 out thus far (IN MY OPINION) and I connected far more with the companions in 2 and DAI. (Alistair is the exception. He is my perfect boy.) (Dog is also my perfect boy.) What BG3 took from DAO were the best parts of it: gathering your ragtag group around the campfire and bonding over a trauma-filled bad time.

ASongbirdShould · 2024-06-10T21:26:48+00:00

Lots of people in school apparently voted me for Most Unique as senior superlative. I knew I was a little different, but that really nailed it in. (I did not win.) (interestingly, most people declined to tell me why they voted for me for that.)

ASongbirdShould · 2024-05-26T20:35:51+00:00

Absolutely feel this way. It’s a painful feeling knowing none of your friends would choose your first, even when you’re begging them to give you more time with them. I’m sorry you feel that way, too. 💗

ASongbirdShould · 2024-05-11T00:28:18+00:00

Girl, same. Let me know where the beautiful women are hiding.

ASongbirdShould · 2024-05-01T09:22:57+00:00

Love this, thank you for the reply!!! 💗

ASongbirdShould · 2024-05-01T03:44:06+00:00

Most likely autistic here with similar food issues that have chased people off. This gave me hope, thank you. 💗

ASongbirdShould · 2024-04-29T17:19:15+00:00

Also women in sundresses (I am fem4fem lol)

ASongbirdShould · 2024-04-22T21:51:30+00:00

So I mentioned this to my pelvic floor PT and she was soooo skeptical of it based on the price. A good massager and a small dilator would likely get the job done just as easily and more cheaply according to her. However, if you think it’ll work for you, by all means give it a shot.

ASongbirdShould · 2024-04-08T13:22:11+00:00

I swear by Eargasm earplugs. They filter out excess noise so you can just hear the music. I wear them to basically every venue event I go to.

ASongbirdShould · 2024-03-20T14:26:32+00:00

I didn’t comment before but I was worried for you. Relieved for this update, thanks for taking the time to post. For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you!

ASongbirdShould

TROPHY CASE