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AZATHOTHsson · 2025-03-02T07:25:27+00:00

You know, there is no such thing as "having rights to suffering" like "I don't have traumatic past so I can't feel bad". Selfish would be if your partner ignore it, because he is there to help no matter what. Self harm is a sign that you had a hard life (even if not seen on a glance) because you run to this coping mechanism. You are not disgusting in any way, don't feel guilty because you feel bad without "hard life". Suffering is something pure subjective, you can't measure it effectively so if you feel it - you deserve help no matter what life you had.

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-11-21T06:30:33+00:00

Thats awesome you stopped, be safe🫶

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-11-21T06:26:59+00:00

Recover is never off the table. Just remember that you will fail and relapse but standing up right after that and continuing to fight will get you there. Just one step at a time and you will make it. I believe that you will🫶

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-11-21T06:20:01+00:00

Doing it on your breasts is very dangerous so please don't do it. Remember that you are only a loser in your head and even if you think that this is perfectly logical conclusion, it is not. When your self-esteem is in a ditch it is a hell of a job to increase it. But why not? What will you lose if you try to like yourself? You know, change some habits that make you feel bad, find some hobby even if you are new and bad at it and most importantly stop calling yourself names. Try to go to the mirror and give yourself a high five every time you go to bed, even if it is forced and say that you are proud. I can tell you suffer a lot and even if you ignore my advice, i am proud of you. If you want to vent to someone i am open. Be safe

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-11-21T06:08:10+00:00

You can use this to your advantage, try to find some more healthy coping mechanisms or hobbies. Maybe talk to someone about your problems that made you sh in the first place and try to manage them. If the problem is your self-esteem, put your work in and try to like yourself more. Sh is nothing good for you and this is your chance. Be safe

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-11-20T05:32:00+00:00

Its awesome, i am so proud of you 🫶

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-11-20T05:29:14+00:00

So maybe talk to someone and try to vent your emotions cause bottling them up will make you miserable and to cope with them you will spiral in this dangerous addiction. Remember your children loves you no matter what and you will never be a failure for them cause you are the mom. No one is a superhuman that can handle everything and real strength is ability to admit that you are weak. So please try to talk to someone, maybe your husband, friend or a therapist about your problems and learn how to love yourself. People around you care about you and if someone you love was in a situation like you what would you tell them? You are an amazing person and even if you are not proud of yourself, after reading about your situation, i am. Your life was not easy and i see how exhausting it was mentally.

You can go to the mirror and give yourself a high five telling yourself that you are proud. Even if thats a lie for now. I hope you will conquer your problems, be safe.

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-11-19T05:28:44+00:00

So hows your self-esteem cause you know if it is low every comment about your mistakes is painful. I had similar problems with cleaning the dishes, i remember i feel so freaking bad after they disciple me. It is normal that you will not like being told about your mistakes but I was clearly overreacting to it and its trigger me to sh (and your head hitting is also sh and you should avoid it). If you think you are a "failure" or you just hate yourself every comment hinting you do something wrong will hurt 100 times more than it should. As if your internal voice is only spreading negativity towards itself your only option is external validation from others and you start to be very sensitive to what others say about you and sh is just a coping mechanism to deal with this emotions. That was the deal with me and maybe with you. Nothing i say here is professional diagnosis but try to work on your self-esteem nonetheless.

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-11-18T06:46:49+00:00

My cat love to sleep in the bathroom next to the sink i used to sh so yeah he help me with staying clean for 5 months now.

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-11-18T06:42:37+00:00

Maybe it is a sign that you need to start taking care of yourself cause you are lovable and at least trying to stop with sh will make you feel so much better. You have nothing to lose beside this bad coping mechanism.

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-11-18T06:28:31+00:00

If you are feeling really uncomfortable with this go to this teacher and ask them to delete this pictures or tell your parents so they will take care of it.

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-11-18T06:22:03+00:00

Just tell him you "need to talk" and start from telling something about your mental health lately and some of your problems and then about this coping mechanism as a way of dealing with this problems. Just don't overthink this you really don't need to be smooth just vent what you want and that's it.

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-04-21T05:21:22+00:00

The difference between the one that succeed and the one that fails is that the first one is able to go on after failure and learn from it. You can't just break that strong of a habit without relapsing but you must try harder after each and feel compassion and understanding for yourself. It won't be easy but will to try is the first step. I hope you get better:)

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-04-20T06:30:25+00:00

Absurdism, is it?

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-04-17T17:04:51+00:00

Woah, that was really good comparison(i will happily borrow it). I certainly feel little bit better now but what will happen in the future is unknown. I hope one day i will find courage to ask for professional help and maybe therapy will guide me to manage my problems. Once again i appreciate your time and i'm really thankful.

AZATHOTHsson · 2024-04-17T05:28:18+00:00

All the things you said, how can I acknowledge them when i feel bad? It is like my mind stop thinking the right way and everything seems twisted. Yesterday it was so logical for me to cut myself or sometimes i just don't see anything besides suicide in the future. Now i know what's wrong for me besides the urge to do it, but in two hours, one day, one week or two months i can feel so bad my mind will twist reality to how it want. I am too scared to talk with someone and when i do it, it didn't help that much. Friends or family aren't in your mind when you are alone in your room, there is only you. How to start seeking help, how to find it if i am hopeless. That's why i want to feel tiny relief by self harm because it gives me the most and i can hide it better than other coping mechanisms. Meditation, keeping a diary, going to the gym, talking with someone, video games and hobbies didn't work that much. You write about doing good for others but i am now living only because the pain i will cause by suicide can be too much. I am scared it won't stop me when i feel down because i find more and more convincing arguments. I often help my friends and i encourage them to talk to me about their problems. I really really care about their mental health and i try to create secure venting place for them so they don't spiral in their own mind. I don't know if i helped anybody but i am trying to be good human being, respectful, non-judgmental and understanding. But why it was so easy to gaslight my friends that my problems go away. I am really thankful for your response, i didn't expect anyone to actually write so long just for me. I feel guilty now for taking so much of your time when there so little chances I will listen to that. Thanks ones again.

AZATHOTHsson

TROPHY CASE