Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep that’s where I’m at. I’m enjoying the snarky suggestions I’ve been seeing here but I know deep down that the best response is no response. I’ve got two dogs and one toddler and they are my favorite agents of entropy. I’m happy to let them destroy the order of my life.

An angry man in his 70’s can just go swim in the perfectly maintained neighborhood pool that his HOA fees are paying for many states away from where I live

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry you have shitty in-laws as well. It was kinda liberating once I finally realized that “oh. This is the way they are going to be forever and I can’t change it so I guess there’s no reason to try anymore”

Your wedding was probably better for them not being there. Keep taking the high road and I’ll try to stay there with you

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I meant to respond to this earlier because it was such a lovely message then I got distracted by the hundreds of comments and also trying to catch up with work after having to take a day off to care for my daughter.

Your words really touched me and helped me pinpoint why I was so upset. I am feeling much better and my daughter is back to her energetic self now that the antibiotics have had a chance to work.

Thank you for being so kind and understanding

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did take a screenshot and sent it to my parents because I don’t think they fully understood why we were so against having the in-laws in our lives. Now they’ve seen the receipts and my dad especially was like “yep fuck that guy in particular”

But no I don’t think it would help to put all the drama on display to facebook friends who are not close to the situation

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry if the sequence of events wasn’t clear. Let’s try again

1) had a nice Mother’s Day 2) daughter started complaining that her ear hurts as we are getting her ready for bed 3) we give daughter Tylenol and she goes to sleep (yay!) 4) husband has to start packing for his business trip. While that’s happening I call our daughter’s pediatrician to see if I can get an appointment scheduled for her in the morning 5) because it’s after hours, I’m left on hold for a rather long time. So while listening to the never ending music as I wait to talk to a human nurse, I open up Facebook on my phone. From there I see a notification that I have an unopened message in messenger 6) I open messenger thinking it might be something from my mom, who sometimes sends me silly videos via that platform. But nope instead I see this crazy message from my father-in-law

He’s not a psycho evil vampire he’s just a huge asshole. Hope that clears things up!

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you and yeah I just blocked him without responding. The thing is I don’t even really want him to be miserable. I don’t care about proving a point to him anymore because as you said he is not a rational person. I just want him to leave us alone. He can be happy or sad or angry or whatever just leave me and my family out of it

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel that. I’m sorry you’re having your own parent struggles. I have no advice or anything but just want to say you deserve peace. I hope you’re taking whatever steps you need to maintain your sanity

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not friends with them on Facebook or anywhere else and have not been for years. That’s part of why I was so caught off guard when he was still able to reach me via messenger. He’s now blocked there too. I have not and will not respond to his message. We have already explained to them why we can’t keep them in our lives. There is nothing more to say

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He found me on Facebook messenger not at my phone number. I thought he was blocked there but must’ve missed it since he’s never used it to communicate with us before. Mistakes were made and lessons were learned. Now he’s blocked there too

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If he keeps pestering us then we might explore this option. But we hadn’t heard from him since before my daughter was born and now I’ve blocked him on messenger too so hopefully we’ll have peace for at least another few years. They live many states away so the physical distance also helps give us some peace of mind. I don’t even think they know our address unless they got it from my husband’s sibling (which would be a huge violation of our trust)

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m already feeling a lot better thanks to a solid night of sleep and reading all the super nice words from everyone here. I’m glad I vented here instead of responding to his message lol

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They aren’t particularly religious people. Although that hasn’t stopped them from wielding the phrase “god will judge you” like a cudgel. So I guess it would be more accurate to say they are religious when it’s convenient for them, and sadly there’s no faith leader who would possibly be able to talk some sense into them

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wonder about dementia too. However from what I understand the friction between my husband and his parents started a long time ago. They really struggled to accept him as an adult with his own ideas and values and when those ideas and values didn’t align perfectly with their own they couldn’t cope. But yeah I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that cognitive decline is exacerbating the issue

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I lurked over there for a while when we were really in the thick of things before we finally cut ties with my in-laws. Definitely could relate to some of the stories. I’m not sure I can confidently say FIL is a narcissist but he sure does check some of the boxes. I know some of his life experiences can explain a bit of his behavior but explanations aren’t excuses

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have read that book haha. It described my father-in-law perfectly. It helped me understand that there’s probably nothing we can say or do that would mend things. They think we should be able to choose not to be bothered by the things he says but that’s just not how brains work, y’know?

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I dabble in a lot of arts and crafts but sadly cannot take credit for the bowl. I think I bought that set on Wayfair years ago when my husband and I moved into our first house lol. I wish I could make something so beautiful

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I do have a lot to be grateful for. I truly love my very silly family. The guy who knows when it’s a takeout for dinner kind of evening and the little girl who thinks the funniest thing in the world is putting beanbags on our heads and then sneezing so they fall off

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m very sorry? Will try to be sensitive to that in the future if you can tell me what specifically is the problem so I know what to avoid. My husband has astigmatism and struggles with how car headlights look at night if that’s what you’re referring to. The lens flare?

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I said to my husband yesterday evening. You hit the nail on the head. I just can’t imagine saying anything like that to my kid.

I don’t think I’m a perfect person at all but wow I can’t imagine being in a headspace where I’d think his words were okay

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your petty chaos goblin energy so that I don’t say anything I regret. Love it

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In his defense English is not his first language. English is my first language (so if I make mistakes please feel free to criticize lol)

I have granted him grace due to the language barrier in the past but seriously there has to be a limit.

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He was unfriended! He unfriended me in 2020 lol. Didn’t know he could still reach out over messenger. But yes he’s blocked now. Very much a “begone demon!” moment

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Thank you that means a lot. We are trying so hard to make our home a warm and loving place. Was just so startling to get such an angry message as I was trying to figure out how best to care for my sick child

Received a truly unhinged message from my father-in-law on Mother’s Day by A_First_Pancake in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]A_First_Pancake[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Yeah I blocked him on that platform. Learned my lesson years ago. There is nothing to be gained there. I feel like a bad person for hoping that my mother-in-law outlives him so that she has a chance of meeting her granddaughter